Archer Magnum PI

The beauty of Archer is that you never quite know where it’s going to end up. Sterling Archer and his feckless colleagues have a way of derailing any mission they’re on, whether they’re traveling all over the globe, shooting off into outer space, plumbing the depths of the ocean, or even journeying through the inside of a man’s body.

But the first Archer season 7 teaser should be easy enough to predict — because it’s a shot-for-shot remake of the opening credits of Magnum P.I. It is a pop culture artifact of perfect beauty, and you definitely want to check it out after the jump.

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So classic that it will probably land an endangered video store employee on the cover of Purple magazine, the official Troll 2 shirt from Austin’s Mondo Tees more than earns its price in sunglass-dips from geek broads. Ahem, unlike a certain pair of Mooninite pants. Many of our readers know that /Film and the /Filmcast’s love for the 1980s cult classic turned pop-cult phenom runs double deep. And it’s not just us. In 2009, the magically wretched horror-fantasy became immortalized as the Best Worst Movie of all time. Generally speaking, however, this particular /staffer is not big on wearing movie-related apparel. I have an innate fear of becoming Comic Book Guy. And—Spoiler Alert—the day I get burrito sauce on a T-shirt from, say, George Lucas‘s factory while watching Magnum P.I. at 2 p.m. is the wasted day I kill myself.

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VOTD: Han Solo P.I.

Han Solo PI

In April we featured a mash-up of Star Wars and MacGyver, and now someone has created a Star Wars mash-up using Magnum P.I. No more explanation is needed. Who wouldn’t watch Han Solo P.I.?

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UPDATE: ZOMFG! Have any of you guys seen Matthew McConaughey’s official website? It’s actually called “Just Keep Livin'”and you can cruise his glossies while listening to terrible reggae. Amazing! Thanks to Slashfilm reader “Black Flag Inuit” for the tippity top of tips!

Sorry, but real men are not literally golden. Real men don’t grow gigantic mustaches before they start filming action flicks, they already get the thumbs up when they see Lionel Richie at the market. EW reports that Mr. Oscar Abs aka Matthew McConaughey is currently (and finally) reading the script for the long lingering Magnum P.I. remake by writer/director Rawson Thurber (Dodgeball); you know, Magnum P.I., the TV show that got polite but stern, very hairy men in Hawaiian shirts laid by babes for a generation? So, if EW is correct, the shirt is off and the offer is on the table to McConaughey.


Listen, I just saw Selleck, Mr. Tom Selleck, on Craig Ferguson (another real dude), and he looks fine. He even has a ranch with one goat. I guess he’s making some bank off the M/GILFs for his Jesse Stone: Small Town Police Chief franchise, but the guy has forever earned this movie and the role of Thomas Sullivan Magnum, IV. And if not, he should be able to handpick the V heir to the character’s Ferrari and the world’s finest, exquisitely tan-lined catches.

McConaughey is ideal for movies like Sahara, Tropic Thunder and Surfer Dude, but playing an ex-Navy Seal? Is he going to grow a kit and by kit I mean a chest so hairy it takes four bimbos with blow dryers to get us to the next scene? Stop the madness.

Discuss: Whatevs, just no bongo talk.