The Nastiest Final Destination Bloodlines Kill Will Create A New Phobia In Horror Fans

Spoilers follow.

The "Final Destination" franchise has lain dormant for 14 years, waiting for the perfect moment to strike fear into a whole new generation. I admittedly had my reservations about "Bloodlines" simply because "Final Destination 5" is both the best entry and the thematic lynchpin of the entire series. Most horror franchises would kill to have an ending this tight, so the thought of resurrecting it for another go-around worried me initially. Rest assured, however, that "Bloodlines" is a more than worthy successor that takes the series in an exciting new direction, while still offering up a buffet of gruesomely gory deaths that's best experienced with a crowd. /Film's BJ Colangelo wrote in her review that the sixth entry is a franchise best and I'm very much on the same page.

"Bloodlines" kicks off its carnival of carnage with a tremendous opening premonition sequence set in the '60s atop a Skyview restaurant. As someone who's deathly afraid of heights, my palms were sweating watching Iris (Brec Bassinger) take the elevator up the near 500 ft tall monument knowing it's only going to get worse – and it sure does. It's like an Irwin Allen disaster movie crossed with "Looney Tunes" splatter gags. Directors Zach Lipovsky and Adam Stein did excellent work tapping into the gallows humor in anticipating these intricate Rube Goldberg deaths, while still retaining a present element of fear. You can tell this was made by people who have an affinity for "Final Destination."

One of the more welcome additions Lipovsky and Stein brought to the franchise is an interesting new angle of the marks on Death's hit list. With Iris preventing the Skyview tragedy from happening, entire generations were saved from their grisly demise, albeit temporarily. It turns out Death didn't appreciate the heads up and has been taking its time wiping out the familial lineage of everyone who survived that day. Iris' estranged granddaughter Stefanie (Kaitlyn Santa Juana) has been experiencing the premonition on a routine basis, which leads her to learn the truth that her family is up on the chopping block.

It's one thing to have your horror movie victims to be a bunch of people brought together by circumstance, but it's another for the unfortunate ensemble to be a family. Each death is impactful in its own way. I had a grand old time watching them bite it, but "Bloodlines" does an excellent job at making you feel bad for laughing. Figures that the best death sequence in the film is one that involves a painful date with an MRI machine.

The most nerve-wracking aspect of living in a "Final Destination" movie is how anything and everything in your immediate surroundings will be used to kill you. An MRI machine gets quietly turned on by accident and you're just waiting to see how it's going to eviscerate someone. You never quite know if the MRI will claim a death of its own or lead to a completely out of left field threat. The glowing omen just sits there biding its time and taunting the audience, not unlike Erik (Richard Harmon), the MVP of "Bloodlines."

Harmon gets the best role in the film because, despite Juana playing the main character, he's the center of attention for a good chunk of it. Erik's initially positioned as the one family member you can anticipate being a jerk, but the film endears us to him. He's a bit of a snark and tempts Death way too comfortably, yet is ultimately a great older brother to Bobby (Owen Patrick Joyner). The teaser trailer for "Bloodlines" seemingly teased his death in the tattoo parlor, in which his septum piercing gets caught in a chain attached to a rotating ceiling fan. We see him fall into a pit of flames brewing beneath his feet and think that's a picture wrap.

In a hilarious subversion, Erik appears before Stefanie and her little brother Charlie (Teo Briones) completely unscathed on account of his leather jacket shielding him from the flames. It's as if that entire sequence was a minor nuisance. Another trailer even teased Erik getting flattened by a garbage truck shortly after. The honor instead goes to his sister Julia (Anna Lore) who, through a series of circumstances, gets her face crushed in the back of one instead. The fact that Erik also witnesses Howard (Alex Zahara) get a lawnmower to the face, followed by the revelation that he's not even his real father, almost feels like a fate worse than death. Rest assured, his incoming death will be much, much worse.

Through an escalating series of events, the MRI is pushed into Research Power mode (the Ludicrous Speed of the "Final Destination" universe), which gives it the ability to yank metal objects from across the room. Erik finally loses the septum piercing, but he's got bigger issues to worry about. It appears someone forgot to remove their nipple piercings, sucking him into the belly of the beast. I then remember sitting forward in my seat at the realization that the MRI's super magnet was about to violently rip out his Prince Albert. All you can do is laugh and wince in equal measure as a wheelchair contorts into the ultimate body piercing.

We've seen an MRI appear in horror movies like "Insidious: The Red Door" and "Saw X," but none of them are utilized as killing machines. "Bloodlines," however, goes ahead and transforms the commonplace medical equipment into a magnetic hell vortex that literally gives Erik one of the series' most prolonged and painful deaths. You would think his inevitable demise wouldn't live up to all the fakeouts, but it ends up being the perfect payoff, and one that had my audience erupting with groans, screams, and laughs. I want to get more piercings, but this movie sure makes a strong argument to stop while I'm ahead.

Death got really clever with this one considering he played the long game with these two. When the remaining survivors make it to the hospital, Bobby is slated as the next to go. It's really funny that no one wants to be around him for pure safety's sake. But family is family and they take him along on their adventure to see JB, who's later revealed as Tony Todd's William Bludworth in a touching send-off. The family learns that you can cheat Death by taking someone else's life or temporarily dying yourself. Erik and Bobby momentarily flirt with killing a newborn in one of the film's best jokes, but they ultimately end up forging a different path. Erik suggests activating Bobby's near fatal peanut allergies, letting him die, and then perform a hail mary revival with his EpiPen.

You feel so bad for Bobby because he's like a scared puppy. He's nearly crushed by a vending machine that won't let go of the peanut butter cups, which causes a crack in the glass and a loose spring to stick out. The MRI incident is a hoot, but doesn't lose sight of Bobby's simultaneous suffering. It's horrifying to watch him choke and puff up so slowly with his medicinal salvation feeling like a million miles away. Bobby reaching the EpiPen out of his dead brother's hand feels like a minor victory, but then you remember what kind of movie you walked into when a nurse opens the door to the MRI room.

How ironic that a checkup from a medical professional is what leads to death, as the MRI's magnetic pull causes the vending machine spring to break free and drill into Bobby's head like the Sentinel Sphere from "Phantasm." The two for one hospital carnage is both a great improvement upon the Clear (Larter)/Eugene (Terrence 'T.C.' Carson) double tap from "Final Destination 2," and one of the series' best death sequences altogether.

"Final Destination Bloodlines" is now playing in theaters nationwide.