The Dungeon Crawler Carl TV Series Has Cast The Perfect Princess Donut – But There's Only One Problem

Few new science fiction characters have won the mass loyalty of millions of fans quite as quickly as Princess Donut, the talking cat and second lead character of the "Dungeon Crawler Carl" book series. That is not an exaggeration. You cannot tread anywhere near the passionate fandom of author Matt Dinniman's ridiculous and ridiculously entertaining novels without finding a mountain of fan art depicting the Queen Anne Chonk in all her glory. And you'd find and an even larger fountain of comments about how this tortoiseshell Persian cat (thrust into a post-apocalyptic alien reality show alongside her person, the titular Carl) somehow made them laugh until they hurt and then made them cry until they hurt more.

To say that casting this character for the upcoming Peacock television adaption is of vital importance is an understatement.

Yesterday, news broke from San Diego Comic-Con that the perfect actor has been found. Jeff Hays, the narrator (and producer) for every "Dungeon Crawler Carl" audiobook, has been cast as Princess Donut. And this makes total sense. Hays is one of the best audiobook narrators I have ever encountered, and his dynamic voice work across the eight books is so good, and so diverse in its characterizations, that it frequently feels like a full-cast production. His Donut — petty and snobby and loyal and brave and childish and short-tempered and heart-shattering — is a highlight in an audiobook series with many highlights. It's nearly impossible to complain about this.

But here I am, ready to complain. I think they may have cast Hays in the wrong part.

As a fan of these novels, and of Hays, and of every hero and villain the populates Dinniman's absurd, terrifying, and on-point sci-fi world, here's my perhaps controversial statement. It's possible to imagine many actors playing Princess Donut with the same pathos and humor as Hays. That's not a slight against Hays, a true chameleon and generational voice talent. I just believe that a number of brilliant actors can capture what he does with this particular character. (One of my /Film colleagues thinks Olivia Colman would be a great Donut, and I'm inclined to agree.)

However, I think there's one character where it's truly impossible to imagine another actor in the voice. That's the System AI, the ever-evolving, increasingly deranged, and always cruel computer program that runs the alien dungeon where Donut and Carl risk life and limb at all times. I can close my eyes and picture many folks slipping into the voice of Donut. I literally cannot imagine anyone not named Jeff Hays playing the AI. I cannot picture another actor shouting "NEW ACHIEVEMENT!" with that derisive mockery. I cannot imagine another actor spouting off about the brutal rules of the dungeon with such flippant menace.

This is not me standing in the way of Jeff Hays collecting a big paycheck for playing the second lead in a major new streaming series. This is me saying he's so talented that he deserves to play the more challenging part. There may be only one solution here: Cast Hays in both parts. And now, I place the ball back in your court, Peacock.

The next step, of course, is find the perfect actor play Carl. Thankfully, /Film has already done the heavy lifting on that part.