Comedy Horror Movies Most People Could Actually Survive
The horror genre is vast and expansive, containing countless subgenres guaranteed to keep fans coming back for more. Horror comedies are arguably the most popular subgenre, marrying the laughs with the screams that make for an accessible experience for even the biggest scaredy-cats. Some of the best horror films of all time fall under the horror comedy umbrella, like "The Evil Dead," "An American Werewolf in London," and "Shaun of the Dead."
Horror comedies often work so well because they introduce relatable characters and situations, which allows the audience to imagine how they'd react in similar circumstances. Are you the kind of person who could survive the night in "Werewolves Within," or would the zombie redneck torture family of "The Cabin in the Woods" eat you for dinner? Horror comedies are not a monolith, but here are some favorites that most people could actually survive.
The Lost Boys
When teenage brothers Michael (Jason Patric) and Sam (Corey Haim) move to the California town of Santa Carla with their single mom (Dianne Wiest), the two are fortunate in finding fast friends. For Sam, it comes in the form of the comic book obsessed Frog Brothers (Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander), while the brooding and angst-ridden Michael finds himself swept up by a group of vampires led by David (Kiefer Sutherland). Sam and the Frog Bros. spend the rest of the movie trying to save Michael from becoming an undead bloodsucker, all while keeping their adventures secret from mom.
Here's the thing, being a vampire in 1980s California sounds pretty sweet. You get to wear awesome clothing, hang out on the pier, fly, never age, be able to play mind tricks on mortals, and heal wounds at a rapid rate. Sure, the whole, "drinking blood" thing will take some getting used to, but becoming one of "The Lost Boys" sounds pretty awesome. The only reason David and the gang are brought to their end is because of the ridiculous coincidences of how Michael's family intersects with the vampire gang. They've been living just fine until the family showed up. Chances are if this happened to any other random person, they'd become a vampire and live their best life eating Chinese food, falling in love with hot babes, and listening to wicked sax solos. Technically they wouldn't be "surviving," but what's a little mortal death in exchange for immortality?
Fright Night
Have you ever considered simply minding your own business and leaving the nice queer-coded couple next door alone? Charley Brewster (William Ragsdale) loves a good horror movie, but has a tough time differentiating between fantasy and reality. When his reclusive new neighbor Jerry Dandridge (Chris Sarandon) and his roommate Billy Cole (Jonathan Stark) move in next door, Charley becomes obsessed with them. Once Charley's suspicions are confirmed and he learns that Jerry is in fact a vampire, he takes it upon himself to save the day with the help of his best friend, girlfriend, and a washed up horror host.
Look, Charley's desire to keep the hot women of his community safe from Jerry Dandridge's vampiric grasp is admirable, but all of this could have been avoided if he simply minded his own business. The average person isn't ignoring their half-naked girlfriend in favor of spying on their neighbors with binoculars, so surviving "Fright Night" would be pretty simple. That is, if you can resist the temptation of an illustrious man who looks like Chris Sarandon. That might prove a little difficult. So make sure to stay "so cool, Brewster."
Hocus Pocus
Considering "Hocus Pocus" is a family film from Walt Disney Pictures, survival should absolutely come easy in this comedy horror classic. Moody Max Dennison (Omri Katz) moves to Salem, Massachusetts with his family, and is determined to be seen just as cool in his new school as he was back in Los Angeles. He, his sister Dani (Thora Birch), and his crush Allison (Vinessa Shaw) explore the abandoned home-turned-museum of the legendary Sanderson Sisters (Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy), only to resurrect the coven after Max intentionally lights the Black Flame Candle, refusing to believe in the superstition that it will bring them back.
The Sanderson Sisters were partying it up in Hell with the Devil for three centuries, and it would have stayed that way had Max not been a big-shot and just left the Black Flame Candle alone. Most people aren't foolish enough to completely disregard warnings that say "HEY, DON'T DO THIS!" and for that reason, most people would have no problem surviving "Hocus Pocus." Of course, there will always be fools who do not heed common sense warnings, which is precisely why we're getting a "Hocus Pocus 2." Won't these virgins ever learn?
Fido
In the criminally underseen zombie comedy "Fido," a cloud of space dust reanimates the dead as flesh-hungry zombies, sparking a war eventually won by humans thanks to ZomCon Corp. and their innovative collars that render the zombies harmless, but perfect for menial workers and household pets. Set in a world that looks like something out of "Leave it to Beaver," humans and zombies are able to live in a symbiotic fashion, with the real villainy being the corruptive jerks at ZomCon Corp.
Surviving "Fido" is easy, as long as you don't screw with any zombie collars and maintain a hearty distrust in the government and ultra-powerful corporations. In the 1950s, this might have been a little bit harder of a sell, but for today's audiences, "Fido" is a cakewalk. The hero of the film is an elementary school aged kid and his mom (granted, it is Carrie-Anne Moss), so any adult who can't survive "Fido" is just proving Charles Darwin right.
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil
Horror movies have a history of painting hillbillies as evil monsters ready to terrorize unsuspecting victims, which is precisely why the meddling teens of "Tucker & Dale vs. Evil" meet their demise. Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) are two blue collar buddies looking to renovate the lakefront cabin of their dreams, who are mistakenly assumed to be bloodthirsty slashers by a group of ignorant college students. As the group does their best to "avoid death," they consistently wind up in worse circumstances than had they just left the duo alone and let them renovate their cabin.
The average person knows better than to make sweeping generalizations about appearances, and would be wise enough to understand that two best friends trying to renovate a vacation home are no threat to you. As is the case with most horror films, the only people who won't survive "Tucker & Dale vs. Evil" are those that are too unenlightened to just let people live their lives and not assume you know the intentions of strangers. Leave them boys alone and you'll be just fine!
Ready or Not
The beautiful Grace (Samara Weaving) thinks she's got it made when she marries the man of her dreams and into an unfathomably wealthy family, but things get a little weird when the family tradition of playing a game on her wedding night turns into a deadly game of hide and seek. The honest reality is that the average person would not be able to survive a game of hide and seek in which they are pursued by a family armed with guns, swords, crossbows, in their own home, so the only way to survive is to avoid the situation at all costs. Good advice for surviving "Ready or Not" is really just good advice for life — don't align with the ruling class and don't marry rich weirdos.
Problem solved.
Freaky
"Freaky," the "Friday the 13th" meets "Freaky Friday" body-swap horror comedy from Christopher Landon and Michael Kennedy was one of the best horror films of 2020 and one of the best slasher films since the original "Scream." In it, The Blissfield Butcher (Vince Vaughn) accidentally swaps places with a teen girl named Millie (Kathryn Newton) continuing his reign of terror while wearing this teen girl body as a new chassis. What makes "Freaky" special, outside of its sense of humor and body-swap element, is that it subverts the typical slasher formula. The people that die in "Freaky" aren't punished for failing to conform to some weird Reagan-era conservatism, but because they're genuinely bad people.
All of the people who are killed in "Freaky" are bullies essentially walking up to death and welcoming it with open arms. Surviving "Freaky" is easier than surviving the slasher films of yesteryear, because the only real rule to follow is "don't be a bully." Don't call queer kids the f-slur, don't start horrible rumors about people for the fun of it, don't abuse your positions of power as a teacher, and don't be a jerk to your friends! Super simple stuff!