Roger Ebert Called This Star-Studded '90s Disaster One Of The Worst Movies Ever Made

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Few directors in the history of cinema had hot streaks as hot as the one the late Rob Reiner had from 1984 through 1992. His first directorial feature, "This is Spinal Tap," is a comedy classic that is still watched to this day, and it was followed by "The Sure Thing" (1985), "Stand By Me" (1986), "The Princess Bride" (1987), "When Harry Met Sally..." (1989), "Misery" (1990), and "A Few Good Men" (1992). Of those, only "The Sure Thing" isn't a barn-burner for the history books, and it was still a modest hit. The rest were all zeitgeist-rattling classics of the highest order, each one attracting widespread critical and/or financial success. 

But in 1994, Reiner's hot streak came to a crashing, spectacular halt with the release of "North," a gigantic, all-star, kid-friendly fable that was critically panned and financially unsuccessful. "North" starred Elijah Wood as the titular 11-year-old who, dissatisfied with his distracted parents (Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus), decides to become legally emancipated (the film says "divorced") and takes off on a worldwide quest to find parents that are kinder and more attentive. He has one summer to do so, or else he has to move into an orphanage. 

A shady lawyer is played by Jon Lovitz. The Easter Bunny is played by Bruce Willis, and he reappears throughout the film as an eerily divine interloper that oversees North's quest. And the cast list is impressive. Dan Aykroyd! Alan Arkin! Kathy Bates! Abe Vigoda! A young Scarlett Johansson! Reba McIntyre! John Ritter!

Despite the cast, beloved film critic Roger Ebert hated "North." He hated it so much, his zero-star review became one of the critic's most notorious reviews. Indeed, Ebert's review inspired the title of his 2000 negative review compendium "I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie." 

The most notorious paragraph from Roger Ebert's review read: 

"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

Rob Reiner was well aware of Ebert's review, and even read that paragraph at a Friar's Club roast in 2000. Luckily, Reiner took it all in stride, being a pretty good-natured guy. "If you read between the lines, it's not that bad," Reiner joked. But Ebert was not as good-natured in his review. The critic was baffled and angered by the entire endeavor, beginning his review with:

"I have no idea why Rob Reiner, or anyone else, wanted to make this story into a movie, and close examination of the film itself is no help. 'North' is one of the most unpleasant, contrived, artificial, cloying experiences I've had at the movies. To call it manipulative would be inaccurate; it has an ambition to manipulate, but fails." 

Ebert objected to the premise, feeling that kids don't just "separate" from their parents over the sin of being a little inattentive. Ebert notes that North actually lives a very nice life with his parents, housed in a suburban mansion in an idyllic neighborhood. North's parents are distracted and embarrassing (Dad works as a pants inspector), but in his mind, that makes them irredeemable. Ebert notes that, yes, "North" is a fantasy film, but it was so unfunny and desperate that he couldn't fall into its world or get on its wavelength. He found the humor to be painful at every turn.

Roger Ebert ended his review giving Rob Reiner the benefit of the doubt, understanding that he was a great filmmaker who just experienced a temporary blackout of his good senses. He wrote: 

"I hold it as an item of faith that Rob Reiner is a gifted filmmaker; among his credits are 'This Is Spinal Tap,' 'The Sure Thing,' 'The Princess Bride,' 'Stand By Me,' 'When Harry Met Sally...,' and 'Misery.' I list those titles as an incantation against this one. 'North' is a bad film — one of the worst movies ever made. But it is not by a bad filmmaker, and must represent some sort of lapse from which Reiner will recover — possibly sooner than I will." 

On a $50 million budget, "North" only made $12 million back. Ebert, it seems, wasn't the only one who hated it. It currently holds a 12% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, based on 111 reviews. The consensus seemed to be that "North" was too treacly to be the satire it wanted to be, and that it was painfully unfunny. These days, most audiences will wince at the sight of Kathy Bates playing an Inuit character. 

The one person who remained positive about "North" was Reiner himself. In a 2004 Television Academy Foundation interview, Reiner defended the film: 

"All it is is something that everybody's felt at one point or another, and that is 'I wish I had different parents.' [...] When you're a kid, everything looks better at somebody else's house. [...] I made this little fable, and people got so mad at me!" 

He said that some of the jokes in "North" were among his favorites. No matter what the world said, Reiner was proud of his work.