It's 2025 And I Just Watched 2005's Fantastic Four For The First Time – These Are My Honest Thoughts

I love just about every cinematic genre but I've never been much of a superhero guy. Maybe it's because I didn't get much exposure as a kid. Growing up in the '80s, I didn't read comics and our movie options were basically limited to Christopher Reeve's "Superman" and Michael Keaton as "Batman." There simply wasn't much else going on, apart from reruns of Adam West's Camp Crusader and Lou Ferrigno as "The Incredible Hulk" on telly. I knew that the likes of Spider-Man, Thor, X-Men, and Ghost Rider existed, but I wasn't fussed at all because I was too busy playing with my Transformers and my "Star Wars" figures.

Things have changed since I grew up and had kids of my own. Nowadays if you want family fare, your main choices are the endless barrage of computer-generated stuff on Netflix or superhero movies. The latter is the lesser of two evils for me, and I've watched almost all the Marvel films. I've enjoyed most of them well enough, but they tend to bleed into one another after a while — invincible characters punching each other through buildings until it's time for the next scene. For all the immense power and universe-spanning threat, these stories are curiously low on dramatic stakes. You know if someone gets killed, chances are they'll be revived a few movies down the line. If not, you can always catch up with them in the prequel (Hello, "Black Widow").

Despite my superhero fatigue, I did sit up and take notice when the trailers for James Gunn's "Superman" and Matt Shakman's "The Fantastic Four: First Steps" dropped earlier this year. The "Guardians of the Galaxy" trilogy are the only Marvel movies I've really engaged with emotionally, so I was looking forward to seeing what Gunn could do with the Man of Steel. I really like the retro-futuristic style of the latter and I've always found the idea of Silver Surfer and the planet-devouring Galactus really intriguing, so I'm interested to see how that will play out when I take my kids to see it. In the meantime, I decided to check out the 2005 adventures of the Fantastic Four — or Rock Man, Stretchy Guy, Fire Boy, and See-Through Lady, as my eight-year-old son calls them. Here are my honest thoughts from my first viewing.

Hardcore Marvel fans will have to forgive me if my lore is a little off, but, to my untrained eye "Fantastic Four" appears to strip their origin story down to the absolute basics. Dr. Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) and his buddy Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) pop in to visit Reed's old school friend and filthy rich tycoon Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) and ask a favor. Reed wants access to Victor's space station to study the effects of an impending cosmic storm on organic matter, reasoning that the research could do a lot of good back on Earth. Victor agrees in exchange for a 75% cut of any future profits derived from the results and decides to go along for the ride. Also onboard is genetic researcher Susan Storm (Jessica Alba), Victor's girlfriend and Reed's ex, and her brash and impulsive younger brother Johnny (Chris Evans).

Once they're on the space station, Reed realizes that the cosmic storm is about to hit earlier than anticipated. That's especially bad news for Ben, who's out on a space walk. Victor shows his true colors, hiding behind a protective shield while Reed, Susan, and Johnny scramble to save their friend, bearing the full brunt of the cosmic rays as a result. Back on Earth, they discover they have developed peculiar powers. Reed is able to stretch his limbs like rubber; Susan can turn invisible and create fields of energy; Johnny can burst into flame at will; and Ben permanently turns into a hulking rock-skinned monster. Victor has his own problems, too. In the wake of the mission's failure, his company's stock is tanking. Not only that, he realizes that he didn't fully escape the effects of the cosmic storm and his skin is turning into an "organic metal alloy."

After the team combine their newfound powers to prevent a disaster on the Brooklyn Bridge, the media dubs them the Fantastic Four. Nevertheless, Reed vows to return them to normal, hatching a plan to build a machine that can replicate the cosmic storm and reverse the effects. Victor, who has now harnessed the ability to manipulate electricity, craves control and decides the best way to achieve it is by dividing and conquering the team. Can the gang stick together and take down Doctor Doom before his power grows too strong?

I had a blindspot for "Fantastic Four" but I knew it had a poor reputation, as its rating on IMDb (5.7) and Rotten Tomatoes (28%) reveals. As a result, I wasn't particularly looking forward to watching it, especially since the cast also looked a bit bargain basement to me. I knew Jessica Alba from "Sin City" and of course "Captain America" actor Chris Evans, but I didn't really have any idea who the rest of the line-up were. Now I've seen it, I can honestly say that I don't know why it gets such a bad rap.

The performances are earnest but a bit of a mixed bag. Gruffudd is blandly appealing as Reed and McMahon lurks with vague villainy as Dr. Doom. Alba was evidently chosen for her physical attributes rather than her acting ability — there is something rather leering about the way she is squeezed into a variety of low-cut outfits and constantly strips naked to turn completely invisible. On the plus side, Chiklis does a good job of conveying Ben's sadness and frustration despite spending most of the movie beneath tons of prosthetic makeup, which incidentally looks pretty terrific. Chiklis also shares great comic chemistry with Chris Evans, who is the best thing about the movie as the very vain and insensitive Johnny Blaze. It's no wonder that he went on to become a lynchpin of the MCU as Captain America after this.

Compared to the muted palettes of many MCU movies, "Fantastic Four" is appealingly bright and comic-like. The special effects look a little cheesy by today's standards, but director Tim Story has a lot of fun with them. The middle act is a hoot as the gang discover their abilities, building up to the film's standout set piece on Brooklyn Bridge as the team narrowly avert a series of escalating perils. Sadly, Doom's whole dastardly plan is a bit boring and the final showdown is pretty underwhelming.

Despite its faults, I really enjoyed "Fantastic Four" with its blend of goofy humor, endearing character beats, and mid-2000s spectacle. While it obviously sets up a sequel, it doesn't feel burdened with laying the groundwork for a vast canon of films the way the early MCU movies sometimes did. It's simple, unpretentious fun – something that feels almost revolutionary now we're wheezing through Phase Six of the increasingly tiresome Marvel universe.