Before Reacher, Alan Ritchson Appeared In One Of The Worst Shows Ever

It's hard being an actor sometimes, even when you're Alan Ritchson. Long before he got to play beloved characters like Jack Reacher on "Reacher" or Young, Handsome Scully on "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," Ritchson was playing small roles in series that probably didn't deserve him. The worst of the lot? Expired Cow on a 2012 episode of "Fred: The Show."

Who was Expired Cow? He was an evil, imaginary cow who wanted to smash a cake that main character Fred Figglehorn (Lucas Cruikshank) was supposed to take care of. Fred decides to battle the cow to save the cake and prepares for the fight by training with an imaginary talking cookie. In the end, Fred defeats the cow by remembering its weakness is bad trombone music. Upon being beaten, Ritchson's Expired Cow explodes, never to be seen again.

To be clear: When we say Ritchson played a cow, we don't mean that Ritchson voiced a computer-animated cow character; we mean he was dressed up in a cheap-looking cow suit (see the above image) and asked to act menacingly for several minutes of screentime.

It's hard not to wonder if this was all beneath Ritchson, even this early in his career. The episode came out after the first season of "Blue Mountain State" had already aired, where the actor played standout character Thad. Ritchson may not have been anywhere near as established as he is today, but surely he was more established than this.

In order to understand "Fred: The Show," you must first understand the absolute fever dream that was "Fred" the YouTube series. In 2006, Cruikshank (an early YouTuber) created the character of the hyper, squeaky-voiced child Fred Figglehorn. Although Fred's annoying voice is the thing most people remember about him, one of the main appeals of the channel was how dark the Fred lore was willing to get. Although Fred himself doesn't understand how bleak his life is, his videos (filmed in a mock vlog style) imply that his mother is a severely troubled alcoholic, his father is a criminal deadbeat, his grandmother is abusive, and the kids in his neighborhood bully him.

Were those implications enough to make the "Fred" videos high art? No, not by a long shot. But it did help keep the "Fred" series a little more high-tier than the Skibidi Toilet viral videos of today. The fact that these videos trusted their audience to pick up on subtext (combined with the charming low-budget approach of the non-Fred characters forever staying off-screen) helped save the "Fred" YouTube show from feeling like total mindless slop.  

But when Fred Figglehorn started showing up on Nickelodeon, the darker aspects were watered down and those off-camera characters began appearing on-screen. Every one of the small subversive charms of the original videos were stripped away one by one, so by the time "Fred: The TV Show" came around all that was left was that annoying voice.

But as unlikable as Fred was, it was always hard to begrudge Cruikshank for cashing in on so hard on the opportunity. His silly character inexplicably became a massive viral sensation in a way that would've been impossible to imagine even a couple years earlier. Perhaps Ritchson joined the "Fred" franchise because he genuinely respected Cruikshank's hustle, as opposed to him having bad taste or losing a bet. Cruikshank milked the Fred role for all it was worth, even though he must've quickly gotten sick of it too.