The Guns Of Christmas Past Will Be John Wick Meets A Christmas Carol (No, We're Not Kidding)
Sometimes, this job can give you the honor and privilege of drawing attention to all kinds of underseen gems from the wide breadth of cinema that the world has to offer. Other times, you end up writing about a newly-announced schlock-fest of a movie described as, essentially, "John Wick" meets "A Christmas Carol." In either case, it's an undeniable win-win for me, your local /Film writer who absolutely lives for chaos.
From the production company that previously brought you genre hits like "The Raid," "Mandy," and "Anna and the Apocalypse" comes "The Guns of Christmas Past," the latest film directed by French filmmaker Xavier Gens ("Hitman," "Gangs of London") and written by Andrew Hilton. As you hopefully put together by now, the incredibly serious prestige picture and likely Oscar-bait film follows the recent trend of mashing up classic stories and IPs that are now up for grabs for reinterpretation as part of the public domain, like the recent slasher disaster "Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey" or the upcoming "Bambi: The Reckoning." Now, it seems as if Hollywood has set its sights on the enduring Charles Dickens story about a grumpy old miser who has to learn a harsh lesson about kindness and generosity ... this time, naturally, with a Glock.
If you're tempted to dismiss this as just another dumb example of industry silliness, well, it's not too silly for a certain Liev Schreiber. That's right, Ray Donovan himself is attached as the lead named Ebb, described as "... a former hitman for the mob, brought out from hiding when his former best friend and partner (Jacob Marley) is killed. Ebb penetrates the compound of his enemy to exact revenge. The 'Ghosts' of Past, Present, and Future all arrive to thwart our hero's plans."
What a time to be alive, folks.
Ebenezer Origins: Scrooge
Who says Hollywood's running out of ideas? In a theatrical marketplace overflowing with superhero movies, sequels, and reboots, what moviegoers really need is a little bit of Christmas cheer ... sprinkled in with a heaping dose of irreverent genre mashups that take an axe to beloved pop culture landmarks. If you're having trouble figuring out if the tone of this article is meant to be ironic or not, well, so am I.
"The Guns of Christmas Past" comes from XYZ Films, which Deadline reports will be shopping the production at the Cannes market later this year. And incredibly enough, maybe my earlier crack about this film being an awards player may not have been so ridiculous, after all. Apparently, it will also be entered into competition at the celebrated film festival alongside efforts from auteurs like Wes Anderson, Todd Haynes, Ken Loach, Martin Scorsese, Pedro Almodóvar, and more. That just feels right, if you ask me.
Xavier Gens had this to say about the announcement:
"I am excited to work with Liev and XYZ Films and bring a modern design style to this unique and original script. I hope to follow in the tradition of classic holiday action movies like 'Die Hard,' and create a really fun film that audiences will come back to year after year."
Look, there's a lot of bad news going on these days. The Writer's Guild of America just enacted a strike, Kevin Costner is leaving "Yellowstone" to the chagrin of every dad in America, and the AI craze continues to be a blight on the arts. I say we deserve to celebrate something as silly as a movie called "The Guns of Christmas Past."