friday the 13th part VI

140.Getting a Signal

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

The Victim: Miles

The Gory Details: Miles tries to escape Jason by climbing the cruise ship’s mast. But Jason can teleport in this movie, so he meets him halfway and flings him to the deck, where he’s impaled on an antennae.

139. Lessons in Jackass Corpse Disposal

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

The Victim: Russell

The Gory Details: Russell is noteworthy for being the second best preppy douchebag in the entire Friday the 13th series, but his death is a little underwhelming at first. After taking a quick axe to the face, Russell’s corpse gets repurposed again and again throughout the movie, seemingly get moved around by Jason offscreen to provide fresh jump scares. The make-up on his chopped face, seen only on his corpse in later scenes, is one of Part VII‘s more impressive effects.

138. How Do I Car Door?

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

The Victim: Lana

The Gory Details: Lana forgets how to open a car door for a little while. When she does remember, she gets chopped in the chest with an axe.

137-136. Metal Gear Jason

The Film: Jason X

The Victims: Geko and Sven

The Gory Details: Sure, Jason could just march into any fight and win. So when he chooses to take down these two space marines by hanging out in the shadows and biding his time and playing the stealth game, it’s a refreshing change of pace. For the record, Geko gets her throat cut and Sven gets his neck snapped.

135. A Wrench in the Toxic Waste Works

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

The Victim: Sanitation engineer

The Gory Details: Did you know that the sewers beneath New York City get flooded with toxic waste every night at midnight?! This unnamed sanitation engineer informs our heroes of this surely true NYC Fact before Jason arrives and beats him to death with his own wrench.

134. A Bad Day of Paintball

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

The Victim: Roy

The Gory Details: While Roy’s paintball buddies get more dramatic onscreen deaths, Roy gets literally hacked to pieces by Jason and his machete offscreen. However, we know this because the movie lets the local cops stumble across his stomach-churning remains.

133. How ‘Bout Them Star Trek Doors?

The Film: Jason X

The Victim: Stoney

The Gory Details: Jason has burst through plenty of doors in his time, but the futuristic setting of Jason X forces him to patiently wait for a set of sliding Star Trek-esque doors to open before plunging his machete into Stoney’s unsuspecting guts.

132. You Know, Just Hanging Out

The Film: Friday the 13th Part III

The Victim: Fox

The Gory Details: Jason pins plenty of people to plenty of things using plenty of sharp objects throughout this series. The slow reveal of Fox hanging from the barn rafters by a pitchfork through the neck is pretty okay.

131. Blackmail Karma

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

The Victim: Tamara

The Gory Details: Tamara is slashed to death by a piece of broken glass mere minutes after Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan spends far too much time focusing on her blackmail plot against her high school biology teacher. This one isn’t amazing, but it’s noteworthy for being awfully mean for this particular era of the series, where the kills were generally a bit goofier.

130. A Good Old-Fashioned Face Bash

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

The Victim: Joey

The Gory Details: Jason literally destroys Joey’s face with a quick elbow bash. Audacious and gross, even if the effect is a little cartoonish to completely sell.

129. Panic in Needle Alley

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

The Victim: Gang member

The Gory Details: After this unnamed gang member gives this film’s Final Girl an injection of heroin (!) so he can rape her (!!), Jason arrives to take the needle from him and impale it through his chest (!!!). A weird one, because it’s Jason’s powerful fists that do most of the work here, not the flimsy needle.

128. Azrael Can’t Catch a Break

The Film: Jason X

The Victim: Azrael

The Gory Details: Azrael’s first violent encounter with Jason comes when the masked killer is still cryogenically frozen on a desolate future earth – his frozen, machete-wielding body tumbles over, chopping this irritating youngster’s arm right off. His later demise, picked up by Jason and broken over his knee, is a little disappointing in comparison.

127. Keep All Body Parts Inside the Vehicle

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

The Victim: Edna

The Gory Details: Jason slams a car door on Edna’s head, squishing it. Fast, but effective enough.

126. This Sucks On So Many Levels

The Film: Jason X

The Victim: Janessa

The Gory Details: This should’ve been a contender. Jason (recently upgraded into a cyborg) punches a hole in the side of the ship and Janessa is sucked through a metal grate and into the vacuum of space. Conceptually, it’s disgusting and nasty and memorable! In execution, all we get is a quick sucking sound a little bit of gore hanging on that grate. Insert frowning emoticon!

125. Just Don’t Insult the Masked Killer, Okay?

The Film: Freddy vs. Jason

The Victim: Unnamed stoner jock

The Gory Details: An unnamed stoner jock guzzles Everclear at a cornfield rave (as you do) and insults Jason as he arrives at the party. Jason puts an end to his bullying by twisting his head completely around, which is pretty funny (and fairly cheesy thanks to that early ’00s CGI).

124. …and Starring Jason Voorhees as the Shark

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

The Victim: Sandra

The Gory Details: For a movie series predominately set around in a summer camp next to a lake, there are surprisingly few deaths by drowning. This Jaws-inspired kill gets the job done.

123. I’ve Got a Knit to Pick

The Film: Friday the 13th Part III

The Victim: Edna

The Gory Details: Friday the 13th Part III spends far too much time with the Hocketts, a miserable, middle-aged married couple who can’t seem to stand one another. But at least this excuse to pad out the running time on already short movie concludes with a decent knitting-needle-to-the-head gore gag, which isn’t too shabby.

122. The Ever-Versatile Speargun

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

The Victim: Jim

The Gory Details: What happens when Jason, usually a model student when it comes to accuracy, misses the mark with a speargun? It’s simple: he impales his victim with the speargun itself.

121. Panel Problems

The Film: Jason X

The Victim: Crutch

The Gory Details: In the world of Friday the 13th, control panels are dangerous things that explode into flames and sparks at the slightest touch. This is also true in the future, when chief engineer Crutch is electrocuted after Jason slams his face into a panel. It’s fine, but we’ll get to better exploding panels soon enough.

120. Cocaine on the Brain

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

The Victim: Billy

The Gory Details: One of the cliches associated with the Friday the 13th movies is that Jason hacks and slashes his way through a bunch of stoned teenagers. But when it comes to drugged-out characters biting it, none of them having anything on the middle-aged Billy, who is high as fuck on cocaine when an axe is slammed into the top of his head.

119. Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Pilot Spaceships

The Film: Jason X

The Victim: Lou

The Gory Details: The cowboy pilot of the spaceship Grendel dies when he’s literally moments away from docking at a friendly space station. The death itself is offscreen, but the discovery of his body, or rather, the many pieces that were once his body, is plenty gruesome. This one gets bumped up a few spots for triggering one of the series’ most jaw-dropping sequences, which we’ll get to in a bit.

118. You Have the Bridge, Number One

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

The Victim: Chief Engineer Carlson

The Gory Details: Admiral Robertson gives control of his crappy cruise ship over to his chief engineer, who is at the helm for about four seconds before Jason marches into the bridge and stabs him in the back with a harpoon. This kill, shot through the window of the bridge while a storm rages, is strangely artful for this junky movie.

117. We Call That a Compound Fracture

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

The Victim: Ward

The Gory Details: Jason breaks many, many bones (most spines and craniums) during his various murder sprees, but Ward is the only character in the entire series to suffer an actual compound fracture, with the bones breaking through the skin and everything. Ouch.

116. Getting the Shit Killed Out of You, Part One

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

The Victim: Demon

The Gory Details: Getting murdered by a masked maniac is an awful thing to happen at any time, but it must be especially awful when you’re just trying to take a shit. Demon eventually gets impaled with a metal rod through the wall of this outhouse, but only after he’s terrorized while sitting on the toilet, a uniquely humiliating position.

115. Getting the Shit Killed Out of You, Part 2

The Film: Friday the 13th Part III

The Victim: Harold

The Gory Details: Speaking of bathroom deaths, Harold Hockett is killed with an axe to the chest moments after he finishes, uh, doing his business (we get to hear sound effects and everything). This means one thing and one thing only: Jason was watching him poop.

114. My Fair Dead Lady

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

The Victim: Maddy

The Gory Details: In another movie, the nerdy girl giving herself a makeover so she can win over the hot guy she’s crushing on would result in a very different outcome than getting killed with a sickle. Welcome to Friday the 13th. Hey, a sickle! This is the first and last time Jason would wield one of these.

113. To the Bone

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

The Victim: Dan

The Gory Details: There’s an alternate universe where Dan’s Death is real top 10 material, but like so many of this entry’s deaths, it’s been cut to the bone. Still, there’s something to be said for this hapless guy getting punches straight through the chest and getting his neck broken in one swift attack.

112. A Gift For You, Jason

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)

The Victim: Donnie

The Gory Details: As far as machete throat cuts go, Donnie’s demise is pretty good. It mostly stands out because it’s his hockey mask that Jason then steals from a nearby pile of junk, officially completing his iconic look.

111. Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake

The Film: Friday the 13th

The Victim: Steve

The Gory Details: Everyone told Steve that he shouldn’t reopen Camp Crystal Lake, but did he listen? Nah. He dies offscreen, killed by Pamela Voorhees, only for his body to later pop up and scare the crap out of Alice, the film’s sole survivor.

110-109. Two For the Price of One

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

The Victim: Steven and Annette

The Gory Details: There are better implements and there are even better group impalements, but I can’t help but enjoy just how quickly and ruthlessly Jason dispatches this couple with a sting stab before they can escape and warn the authorities.

108. The Lonesome Death of Linderman

The Film: Freddy vs. Jason

The Victim: Linderman

The Gory Details: Linderman, the awkward nerd, is thrown against a wall hook by Jason and left in the woods by Kia, who promises to be back as soon as she can. But by this point, the movie is more concerned with the Battle Royale between Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, so Linderman just bleeds out. It’s a weirdly sad death for a movie called Freddy vs. Jason.

107. Really; Please; Stop Insulting Jason Voorhees

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

The Victim: Assistant Coroner

The Gory Details: In one of Jason Goes to Hell‘s few truly entertaining kills, the assistant coroner insults the corpse of Jason Voorhees, unaware that the immortal killer has possessed the body of his boss. Death by autopsy probe (ooh, that’s a new one!) ensues.

106. Take a Little Off the ‘Ol Intenstines

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

The Victim: Dr. Crews

The Gory Details: When Jason breaks out the tree-trimming saw, you think you’re in for a real treat. This is, by far, the most impressive piece of hardware wielded by the masked killer throughout these movies and he looks nothing short of terrifying while holding it. But alas, he only uses it to disembowel the cowardly Dr. Crews, a kill that doesn’t feature a single drop of the red stuff. Don’t promise carnage you can’t deliver, movie!

105-104. First Blood

The Film: Friday the 13th

The Victims: Barry and Claudette

The Gory Details: The first victims in the entire series, Barry and Claudette are stabbed to death by a mysterious figure, later revealed to be a vengeful Pamela Voorhees. While not as outlandish as other deaths in the series, there’s something morbidly affecting about the low-key nature of these murders.

103. Trap ‘Em and Hack ‘Em

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)

The Victim: Richie

The Gory Details: Richie has a really, really bad final five minutes of life. First, he stumbles across the corpse of his buddy Wade. And then he steps in a bear trap, which screws his leg up something fierce. And then he has to watch helplessly as his girlfriend bites it. And then, and only then, does Jason end it with a pretty superior machete head chop. Geez.

102. Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep

The Film: Freddy vs. Jason

The Victim: Blake

The Gory Details: Blake vows to avenge the death of his best friend, falls asleep, narrowly avoids getting killed by Freddy Krueger, wakes up, and gets promptly hacked to pieces by Jason Voorhees.

101. Watch Your Step

The Film: Friday the 13th Part 2

The Victim: Scott

The Gory Details: One of the Friday the 13th series’ first great douchebags, Scott steps in a snare and finds himself dangling helplessly as Jason approaches to cut his throat with a machete. There are bloodier kills, but there’s something to be said for the raw horror of being literally unable to defend yourself against the stranger who wants to kill you.

Continue Reading Every Friday the 13th Kill Ranked: 100-78 >>

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