'xXx' Honest Trailer: What If James Bond Had Twice The Chlamydia And Almost Zero Gravity

Do you love the film franchise where Vin Diesel loves to wear tanktops, pulls off impossible stunts, mumbles through dialogue, and surrounds himself with a multi-cultural supporting cast? Did you think we were talking about the Fast and Furious franchise? Well, think again, because that also describes the xXx franchise, or at least the first and third installments of it. In between there was that bit where Ice Cube tried to be a leading man in an action movie. Don't worry if you missed it, because the xXx Honest Trailer covers it all and shows you everything you need to see.

Xander Cage is so good at being a secret agent that he goes out of his way to tell people about it, especially if it means he gets to hook up with a girl at a jungle rave that's off the grid. He's even got a tattoo of the secret agency that employs him. I guess there's no reason to be subtle when you're jumping off cars, launching from makeshift ramps that seem to be everywhere, and skiing through the rain forest. Oh, and wearing massive coats for no reason whatsoever.

Ice Cube isn't much better in the mediocre meat of this insane action sandwich. But for some reason, he's not as keen to use his reputation to make an impression on the ladies. He's much more concerned with french fries and milkshakes. It's not doing him any favors either since he does a little bunny hop when he runs. It's a husky guy secret that gets you a little boost. Trust me, I know from experience.

It probably won't be long until we get the Bloodshot Honest Trailer, even though the movie just hit theaters. That's going to be hilarious when it arrives.