You're Not A Fantasy Movie Fan If You Haven't Seen This Cheesy '80s Relic

1980s video store denizens and serious explorers of schlock likely know all about Ruggero Deodato's far-out 1987 fantasy adventure film "The Barbarians." To be sure, it's a must-watch for fantasy fans of all creeds.

"The Barbarians" stars fraternal twins David and Peter Paul, famed bodybuilders already known at the time as the Barbarian Brothers. By 1987, the Pauls already had some acting experience under their belts, having had supporting roles in films like "D.C. Cab" and "The Flamingo Kid." Nevertheless, "The Barbarians" marked the first time the Pauls led a movie together.

"The Barbarians" was put out by the Cannon Group, a studio well-known to lovers of B-grade action films, ridiculous horror movies, and ninjas. Really, simply evoking the studio's name should give folks a good idea as to what to expect from a film like "The Barbarians." (For those unfamiliar with Cannon, we at /Film recommend checking out the documentary "Electric Booglaoo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films.") Indeed, it has all the silly jokes, clunky action, and scantily-clad/half-naked models (men and women alike) one might expect from any Cannon movie.

"The Barbarians" was clearly ripping off the success of John Milius "Conan the Barbarian," which was released five years earlier, just as the Barbarian Brothers themselves were aping the success of "Conan" star Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks to Schwarzenegger, you see, there was suddely a market for bodybuilders as movie actors not seen since the days of Steve Reeves, so the Pauls jumped on the bandwagon. "The Barbarians" was hardly a blockbuster, but it has become a cult favorite over the years, turning the Pauls into legit cult stars. It also starred B-movie luminary Richard Lynch as the vicious medieval tyrant Kadar and Eva LaRue from "All My Children" as an itinerant thief.

"The Barbarians" takes place in an unknown time in a fantasy kingdom that resembles the Dark Ages and concerns a tribe of nomadic circus performers called the Ragnicks. In the film's opening, the Ragnicks are attacked by the evil Kadar, who seeks a magical ruby possessed by the tribe's queen, Canary (Virginia Bryant). Two young twins, Kutchek and Gore, bite off some of Kadar's fingers in his raid, so they are enslaved by him. Meanwhile, Canary is forced to live in a cage in his harem. 

Fast-forward a few years, and Kutchek and Gore have grown into Peter and David Paul, now greased-up beefcakes of the highest order. The Pauls, it should be noted, were not taciturn, scowling action stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger. They were, instead, smiling "big lug" characters, suffused with humor and charm. "The Barbarians" is not meant to be taken terribly seriously, as the Pauls are always mugging and grinning and getting into shenanigans.

The plot continues as Kutchek and Gore escape Kadar's gladiatorial arena and flee into the woods. From there, they find that their despondent tribe has kidnapped Ismene (Eva LaRue), a thief who ends up joining Kutchek and Gore on a mission to get revenge on Kadar. The film then becomes a biome-exploring picaresque wherein the Barbarian Brothers have to have an arm-wrestling contest, infiltrate Kadar's harem, and trek to the Forbidden Land to find Canary's magical ruby (something Sheeba Alahani's China, Kadar's chief sorceress, wants as well). But since the gem is guarded by a dragon, Kutchek and Gore are wise enough to set out and gather a few enchanted weapons before facing the creature themselves.

"The Barbarians," to reiterate, is a very nonsensical movie. Many lovers of schlock 1980s adventure films are well aware of it, and it has been discussed on YouTube shows like "Best of the Worst" (from RedLetterMedia). Many folks will also note right away that "The Barbarians" helmer Ruggero Deodato is the same director behind 1980's "Cannibal Holocaust," which ranks among the most infamous horror movies that even hardcore horror fans can hardly finish. "The Barbarians," in contrast, is more or less a live-action riff on the '80s cartoon series "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe."

Following its release, "The Barbarians" led to a series of low-budget films starring Peter and David Paul. In 1990, they starred in Jon Turteltaub's surprisingly solid trucker comedy "Think Big," followed by their work on the 1992 action comedy "Double Trouble." They even tried their hand at the "burly babysitter" sub-genre with "Twin Sitters" not long after and had small roles in Oliver Stone's "Natural Born Killers" (although their scenes were only included in the director's cut). In a weird coincidence, Stone himself wrote a gloriously outrageous early script draft for 1982's "Conan the Barbarian," itself the very film that led to "The Barbarians" happening in the first place (as mentioned earlier).

Basically, "The Barbarians" is for people who liked "Conan the Barbarian" but felt it was too big-budget and serious and violent. "The Barbarians," on the other hand, hits a fantasy sweet spot of low-budget silliness, coupled with an earnest need to entertain. It's the perfect movie to watch with friends while getting a little intoxicated. It's a classic for the ages. Well, for the '80s, anyway.