A Serious Candidate For The Worst Movie Ever Made Is Getting The Reboot No One Asked For

Uwe Boll was the motion picture scourge of the 2000s, snatching up the rights to a number of popular video games and making the worst film versions of them imaginable. Boll made a few movies before training his sights on video game adaptations, but I'd say his reign of filmic terror began in 2003 with the abominable "House of the Dead." Based on the arcade light-gun shooter where players blast away at a never-ending onslaught of zombies, Boll delivered an incompetently shot and edited horror retread filled with depressingly awful performances from actors who seemed to have no idea what their talentless director wanted from them. Though "House of the Dead" was not a hit (grossing $13.8 million against a $12 million budget), Boll's failure factory kept churning out these movies that, judging from their box office, just about no one wanted.

One of these movies was 2005's "Alone in the Dark." An action-horror flick based on the Infogrames game, it stars Christian Slater as Edward Carnby, a paranormal investigator who teams with his museum curator girlfriend Aline Cedrac (Tara Reid) to combat an invasion of ancient creatures who can only be killed by light. Stephen Dorff is also caught up in this misbegotten mess of a movie, which grossed a paltry $12.7 million against a $20 million budget. That's the thing: Boll's video game movies never came close to recouping their budgets, but he kept knocking 'em out.

Boll hasn't made a video game adaptation since 2014's "In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds" (and said he was retiring from movies altogether in 2016), but he's ready to try his rotten luck again with a reboot of "Alone in the Dark." We're so blessed.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Boll and producing partner Michael Roesch are aiming to restart their "Alone in the Dark" franchise, which petered out after 2008's "Alone in the Dark 2." "We will capture the spirit and the era of the original games and follow the story of the new game," said the singularly untalented director. "We can´t wait to reboot the franchise and cast our new Edward Carnby." Oh, I can wait. So can the rest of the world's critics, given that the first movie holds a 1% Tomatometer rating at Rotten Tomatoes.

There are nine games in the "Alone in the Dark" series, the latest of which was released last year to meh reviews. They boast an H.P. Lovecraft vibe, so I guess Boll is going to try to get his Cthulhu on, which should be good for a hoot if nothing else. That said, I'm well beyond hate-watching his mind-numbing spectacles. My last go-round was "In the Name of the King," which I watched with friends because we all wanted to see how born-to-do-anything-other-than-make-movies could squander a $60 million budget. Even tipsy, it was a punishing experience.

If this reboot goes well, or even if it doesn't (which it won't), Boll and Roesch are also planning a kinda-sorta "House of the Dead" sequel titled "Return to Zombie Island." There is no god.