Danny DeVito Directed A 2012 Horror Movie That's Impossible To Watch

Ever since popping up as oddball mental institution resident Martini in Miloš Forman's "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," Danny DeVito has been one of our most reliable and beloved entertainers. He was a scream as the scheming cab dispatcher Louie De Palma in the classic network sitcom "Taxi" and, decades later, has us howling all over again as unrepentant lowlife Frank Reynolds in FX's long-running, consistently hilarious series "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." He's been every bit as good in the movies as well, so it was hardly a surprise when he began directing features with the 1984 made-for-Showtime satire "The Ratings Game."

With "Throw Momma from the Train" and "The War of the Roses," DeVito established himself as a visually inventive master of the dark comedy. Following the box office failure of 1992's "Hoffa," DeVito's directorial output slowed, however, before seemingly screeching to a halt after the back-to-back flops of 2002's "Death to Smoochy" (a scathingly funny movie) and 2003's "Duplex" (a misfire that stiffed despite the star presence of Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore).

You might think DeVito hasn't directed a movie since "Duplex," but you would be wrong. Alas, if you want to actually watch the film, you're out of luck since it's been sitting on a shelf for 13 years. Completed in 2012, DeVito's straight-up thriller "St. Sebastian" was shopped at the Cannes Film Festival that year, but it evidently couldn't find a distributor. This is a huge bummer because it boasts a terrific cast that includes Lance Reddick, Constance Zimmer, William Fichtner, and Lawrence Gilliard Jr. Yes, there's a performance from the late, great Reddick that we have yet to see. That's reason alone to get this movie out there. But it's also got an intriguing premise.

According to Deadline, "St. Sebastian" is set during some kind of apocalyptic war in an abandoned hospital, which becomes a refuge for "a wounded cop, a wounded murderer, and a sultry nurse." (I hope Fichtner plays the sultry nurse.) These characters are antagonists who find themselves lost in the maze-like structure. Over the course of the film, we discover why they've been brought together.

In 2012, DeVito told Deadline, "I was truly excited about getting behind the camera on this one. It is my first foray into the thriller genre and I've enjoyed the challenge of making an 89 minute edge-of-your-seater." A year later, when asked by Forbes about making the film, DeVito replied, "I used an Alexa Camera. I cut it on Final Cut. In terms of everybody making movies with their iPhones, Androids, or anything. Any kind of device that you can record on, you can make a little film, load it up to YouTube, and send it to your friends. I think it's a great, freeing kind of thing."

So, this is a small-scale movie that's likely performance driven, which, with this cast, is an exciting thing. DeVito has always been a top-notch director of actors, and I'd love to see him indulge his dark side without going for caustic laughs. If no one wants to distribute it, perhaps DeVito could throw it up on YouTube for the world to see. And if someone could rustle up a 4K version of "Throw Momma from the Train" (I'll pass on the rumored sequel), that'd be great, too.