John Wayne Replaced A Wrestling Superstar In The Home Video Version Of Gremlins 2

Before we begin with this article, we must first pause to acknowledge that Joe Dante's "Gremlins 2: The New Batch" is one of the best films of the 1990s, and may be one of the best films of all time. Its sublime slapstick comedy, extensive (pitch-perfect) creature effects, and jejune humor all match perfectly with the film's cunning meta-narrative about the breakdown of the cinematic form. The imaginary creatures once blamed for an airplane's technical problems during World War II had now become manifest at the hands of Joe Dante and producer Steven Spielberg, who set them loose in the pastoral middle-American town of Kingston Falls in the first "Gremlins" (1984). In that film, green chaos-imps were seen dismantling the placid idylls of a Norman Rockwell painting or a Frank Capra film.

In "Gremlins 2," Dante and his monsters take their shenanigans through the fabric of reality itself. "Gremlins 2" takes place in a high-tech high-rise in New York City, owned by a mogul named Clamp (John Glover), an amalgam of Donald Trump and Ted Turner. The Gremlins infiltrate the inner workings of Clamp Tower, and begin running amok with modern technology. This time, though, they also attack the very notion of cinema. 

In the middle of "Gremlins 2," Dante decided to play a prank on the audience. He filmed a sequence where it looked as if the film had snagged in the projector and broke, something that happened from time to time at movie theaters in the old days. But then the audiences saw the shadows of gremlins on the screen, cackling at their own chaos. The gremlins broke the movie itself. It was a meta-joke for the ages, and one that turns "Gremlins 2" from a whimsical creature comedy into an essay on the reality of cinema. 

In the theatrical release, the gremlins were put back in their place by superstar wrestler Hulk Hogan, playing himself. In the home video edition, however, the gremlins were shot to death by John Wayne instead (!).

In the theatrical cut, the gremlins infiltrate the projection booth and pull apart the actual filmstrips for their own movie. They make hand puppets on the screen for a few minutes before putting on a vintage "naturist" movie of nude women playing volleyball. The action then cuts to a snippy usher (cult icon Paul Bartel) who receives a complaint from a theater patron. The projectionist comes downstairs, beaten and bruise, unhappy that the gremlins took over his movie. Bartel, in response, enters the theater and entreats one of the customers for help. The customer is Hulk Hogan. He stands up and gives a characteristically demonstrative speech about how gremlins wouldn't stand a change in a fight with the Hulkster. Yes, he rips off his shirt, one of Hogan's signature moves. 

The gremlins dejectedly rethread the projector and get "Gremlins 2" started again. Of course, by then, the point it made. Reality is meaningless. Heck, earlier in the movie, the gremlins attack film critic Leonard Maltin while he gives a negative review to the original "Gremlins." They strangle him with a strip of film. Gremlins may be movie monsters, but they are so supernaturally chaotic that cinema itself becomes their plaything. 

Of course, the "film breaking" gag wouldn't work as well once "Gremlins 2" was released on VHS the following year. The filmmakers, to match the VCR/CRT TV tech, concocted an alternate sequence that was more appropriate ... and very, very different. Instead of the film breaking, "Gremlins 2" now looked as if a VCR was eating the magnetic tape in a VHS cassette. Once the image fuzzed out and froze, the same shadowy gremlins silhouettes from the theatrical version appeared, only filled with TV static. They performed the same shadow puppets, natch, but then seemingly took control of the viewer's TV. 

They flipped channels a few times before running afoul of John Wayne.

While the gremlins are flipping through channels, they see a brief clip of Bob Clampett's 1943 Bugs Bunny short "Falling Hare," one that featured another visual representation of WWII-era gremlins. The action also cuts to bumpers for KHTV, the local TV network in Little Rock, Arkansas, and the gremlins find themselves inside a broadcast of the 1970 John Wayne Western "Chisum." The gremlins, wearing cowboy hats and guns, are banding a cattle they have rustled. Some cleverly edited clips of "Chisum" (paired with sound-alike voice actor Chad Everett) make it look as if Wayne is berating the gremlins, and then shooting them dead. Wayne, after killing the monsters, says that it was time to get the movie started again, and "Gremlins 2" picks up where it left off. 

This reach-through-the-screen experience was clearly meant to emulate the gimmicks of William Castle, one of the greatest showmen in American cinema history. Specifically, it was meant to emulate Castle's 1959 film "The Tingler," which featured a scene where the title monster was loose in a movie theater, and actor Vincent Price entreated the audience directly to "Scream! Scream for your lives!" Joe Dante is a huge fan of William Castle, and even made a film about a Castle-like monster movie mogul in his 1993 film "Matinee." It would stand to reason that he would want to use a Castle-like gimmick to break the fourth wall in his impishly playful "Gremlins 2." 

And, thanks to some quick thinking, the gag worked on VHS as well. Of course the illusion for the VHS version couldn't hold long, as a viewer only needed to click their pause button to ensure that their "Gremlins 2" tape wasn't actually being damaged. Also, the channel-flipping joke doesn't work quite as well as the cinema joke, as it would only feel accurate to VCR owners in Little Rock. Still the effort is appreciated.