There's Only One Correct Choice To Reboot The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" franchise is about to get a new home, and, according to Deadline, there may be up to eight suitors for the rights to Leatherface and the gang. As of right now, we know who five of the finalists are, and they've all got their strengths and weaknesses. Actually, that's not true. Jordan Peele and Monkeypaw are a perfect match for the material — and having lost out to Warner Bros. on "Sinners" last year, you could argue they just flat-out deserve this.

With its provocative title and promise of wanton savagery at a time when horror movies were starting to play extra rough, it took a while for word to get out that Tobe Hooper's 1974 original wasn't a gore-fest, but, rather, an intensely terrifying experience that you didn't so much watch as survive — much like its protagonist, Sally Hardesty (Marilyn Burns), who cackles from the back of a speeding pickup truck as she observes the spinning, raging Leatherface (Gunnar Hansen) dementedly twirling his chainsaw in the distance. Hooper's 1986 sequel, "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2," flipped the script, slathering on the guts and gristle while adopting a much more comedic tone. If you've got a strong stomach, it's a deranged delight of a motion picture.

Once Hooper tapped out of the series, "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" went through several permutations. The most memorable post-Hooper entry in the franchise has to be the Michael Bay-produced "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," which grossed $107 million against a $9.5 million budget in 2003. Platinum Dunes lost interest in the series after the poorly received (and financially unsuccessful) "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning," which gave way to three very different approaches to the material in "Texas Chainsaw 3D" ("Do your thing, 'cuz"), "Leatherface" and the unjustly maligned, "The"-less "Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

With horror being a multiplex-filling phenomenon post-COVID, it's hardly surprising that studios and producers are lining up to claim this franchise for their own. I'm Team Peele all the way, but the other bidders aren't exactly sawed liver. Who else is in the running, and who's hugging the inside track?

There's always the possibility of an interested party swooping in at the last second with a killer offer, but, as of now, Deadline's Justin Kroll says the battle for the rights to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is between Jordan Peele/Monkeypaw, Taylor Sheridan/Paramount, Oz Perkins/Neon, Glen Powell/A24, and Roy Lee/Netflix. While the article claims there's no frontrunner, Kroll tweeted that Sheridan's pitch "has gained heat in the last week."

Roy Lee is an interesting figure here, given that he's been a major player in the horror genre since producing the American remakes of "The Ring" and "The Grudge." He's apparently involved in the A24 pitch along with "Strange Darling" director J.T. Mollner, but this is for a television show (one that Austin, Texas native, Powell will produce, but not star in). Lee's Netflix pitch is for a movie, but there's no word as to who might write or direct it.

Oz Perkins has become a horror fave over the last year thanks to "Longlegs" and "The Monkey," but he would only be involved as a producer and co-writer on Neon's film. If Peele loses out, I wouldn't be upset with Perkins landing the property, if only because Bryan Bertino ("The Strangers") will co-write as well as direct. Bertino hasn't matched the greatness of his first film, "The Strangers," but he's definitely one of the most original and unpredictable voices working in the genre right now.

Then there's Taylor Sheridan. Though born in North Carolina, Sheridan was raised in Fort Worth, Texas, and has made the Lone Star State a big part of his identity via "Hell or High Water" and "Landman." Sheridan is a television industry unto himself thanks to the "Yellowstone" franchise, most of which he personally writes. I'm not a fan of the show, but people who've been along for that ride since the first episode often complain that he's clearly spreading himself too thin. While Deadline claims he'll only produce whatever he does with the property, I could see him getting involved on the writing side of things.

This brings us to Peele and Monkeypaw. Why are they the best fit for "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?"

Just about everyone involved in this competition is respected within the horror community, but none of them have made films on the level of "Get Out," "Us," and "Nope." As a producer (which is, for now, all he'd be on "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"), he shepherded a very good "Candyman" sequel to the screen with Nia DaCosta directing. If you've ever read an interview with Peele, you know he loves the genre, reveres Hooper's film in particular, and would almost certainly move forward with the utmost care and respect for the franchise. Also, he just seems diametrically opposed to giving moviegoers what he thinks they want and instead goes with his gut.

Mostly, though, I just like the way Peele thinks, and he seems like the one guy who would most boldly engage with the series' sociopolitical elements. Hooper's "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" was perfectly timed to deal with the death of Hippie culture in the shadow of the seemingly unstoppable meat grinder of the Vietnam War. America is losing again. Badly. I want to see Peele and Monkeypaw confront that with f***-you money through Universal. Or, you know, just do whatever he wants to do. He's one of the best horror filmmakers alive. Let him cook the chili.