Apple TV+'s Fountain Of Youth Has The Exact Same Problem As The Uncharted Movie

This post contains major spoilers for Apple TV+'s "Fountain of Youth."

There's a good reason why we are so enamored by stories about lost treasure. The concept of a group of seekers (or a lone one, for that matter) hopping from one clue to another to uncover a relic lost to time appeals to human curiosity. There's also a sense of adventure that mimics the workings of an epic quest, in which the pop-culturification of history and myth helps inject fun into the premise. Everything from "Indiana Jones" to "National Treasure" follows this time-tested format, where the search for a priceless artifact invites a globe-trotting adventure and a tussle over final ownership.

Sometimes, these movies succeed in commanding our attention even when they're sub-par or lacking in substance — the Robert Langdon trilogy being a good example of such formulaic, watered-down mysteries that still have some pleasures to offer. However, this is not the case with Guy Ritchie's "Fountain of Youth," Apple TV+'s new lost treasure flick that sees estranged siblings Luke (John Krasinski) and Charlotte (Natalie Portman) embark on an adventure around the globe. The titular Fountain of Youth is the film's obvious central MacGuffin, but it is so terribly underdeveloped that the reasons Luke or Charlotte are even interested in jeopardizing their lives to find such a mythical object are unconvincing.

Then there's the fact that "Fountain of Youth" is a bland, bloated mess, constantly relying on clunky exposition and eye-rolling humor to pad out its premise. The worst part? None of these shenanigans are fun enough to sit through, as even the most over-the-top action sequences thoroughly lack a sense of urgency. If a shootout inside the ornate chambers of the Great Pyramid of Giza isn't exciting enough to evoke thrill or suspense, then what is? This baffling absence of sincerity plagues Ritchie's "Fountain of Youth," compelling us to question why the film wasn't able to take advantage of an age-old formula that has (mostly) worked for similar genre titles over the years.

Every lost treasure film, no matter how juvenile, carries a historical subtext that shapes these fictional landscapes. It's impossible to divorce most lost treasure adventures from the themes of colonial greed and plunder, prompting discourse about who these artifacts truly belong to. There are, of course, ways to enliven such stories even without such charged socio-political contexts. A celebrated classic like "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre," which crafts its conflict around something as common as gold, deftly examines greed and the human instinct to distrust. If we look at more recent examples, even a screwball comedy like "The Lost City" effectively switches things up by redefining what legendary treasure means, leaning into the emotional implications of such a rare find.

"Fountain of Youth" is completely devoid of such impulses, as if wholly uninterested in exploring themes that venture beyond Luke and Charlotte's flimsy pasts or the antagonist's unprompted hunger for power. We also know next to nothing about the organization that wants to protect the Fountain throughout the film, except for some vague allusion to Eiza González's Esme having ties to someone important (Stanley Tucci) in Vatican City. Shouldn't a mysterious secret society tasked with protecting a gigantic secret seem more important in a film revolving around the most coveted mythical artifact known to man?

In many ways, "Fountain of Youth" shares the same problematic fabric as Sony's "Uncharted" movie, despite being an Apple TV+ original that should have been fun and fresh. Ruben Fleischer's "Uncharted" is not only an abysmal adaptation of the eponymous, beloved video game series, but also painfully generic in its replication of what makes Nathan Drake's saga so compelling. In plainer terms, it's boring. The 2022 adaptation is a two-hour-long globe-trotting adventure minus tense stakes or memorable characters, where its mimicry of genre tropes is as uninspired as its inert action setpieces.

This exact sentiment applies to "Fountain of Youth," except that it doesn't fail any widely-loved video game counterpart or botch any existing lore. It's an original story that rehashes every stale genre trope under the sun, but still fails to capture the magic associated with a treasure hunt.

Let's talk about what Ritchie's film does offer in abundance: shoddy exposition and foreshadowing. The clunky dialogue doesn't help matters here, and we're forced to watch Luke ramble about his father's legacy while bickering with his sister, who wants no part in his meandering adventures. But we are reminded time and again that Charlotte secretly craves thrills, as a chunk of the riddles leading up to the Fountain are enthusiastically solved by her. She needs this dangerous adventure as desperately as Luke needs her on his team, as Charlotte is going through a difficult divorce and has been recently fired from her high-profile job. While these motivations serve their purpose just fine, they're spelled out in awkward dialogue time and again. There's also some heavy-handed foreshadowing employed through Luke's visions, which serve little purpose besides testing one's patience. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with mindless fun, even when it's riddled with loopholes or logical fallacies. But "Fountain of Youth" wishes to come off as an exciting, witty genre title, even when it doesn't engage with anything remotely fun or smart throughout its runtime. This is disappointing, as the story has every ingredient to blend these tones together, with its historically rich locales (such as the gorgeous Austrian National Library) serving as solid settings for the story. Even when Domhnall Gleeson's Owen Carver is at the heart of the ancient Pyramids, corrupted beyond recognition by his own unchecked greed (just like a character in the "Indiana Jones" franchise), there's no sense of awe or wonder attached to these events. Everything falls flat. 

As the film ends, Esme and Luke tease the beginnings of a brand new adventure, one that might potentially revolve around another lost historical artifact. This moment clearly sows the seeds for a possible sequel, which undoubtedly needs to get a better grasp on what makes a lost treasure flick exciting and effective. If greenlit, the sequel has a talented core cast to work with, along with the prospect of shooting on incredible locations that can translate well into parts of a puzzle. I sincerely hope that the continued story will have enough self-conviction to fully explore whatever gimmick it chooses to embrace.

"Fountain of Youth" is now streaming on Apple TV+.