The Murderous Futurama Christmas Episode That Fox Initially Banned
By the estimation of "Futurama," Christmas will be celebrated very differently in the early 30th century. For one, festive, decorated fir trees will be replaced with palm trees. Also, the spelling of "Christmas" will officially evolve into "Xmas." Most importantly, Xmas will see the release of a real-life robot Santa Claus, built many years ago to gauge the niceness and naughtiness of the world's children and distribute worldwide gifts accordingly. Sadly, Robot Santa's programming had a glitch, and he now gauges everyone to be naughty, a sin punishable by death. Jolly Old St. Nick now takes to the skies on Xmas armed with missiles and bombs, merrily murdering anyone he sees on the streets. Fearful citizens huddle inside shielded beneath anti-Santa armor, a standard feature of most 30th-century buildings.
This is a wonderfully irreverent concept that blends Christmas imagery with science fiction in a blithe and silly fashion. In his first appearance in the episode "Xmas Story" (December 19, 1999), Santa was played by John Goodman. In all his subsequent appearances, he was played by "Futurama" regular John DiMaggio. Robot Santa returned in "A Tale of Two Santas" (December 23, 2001). In that episode, the Planet Express crew manages to trap Robot Santa in ice, leaving Bender (also DiMaggio) to deliver kind packages like in the good old days. Sadly, Bender is arrested for Santa's many crimes and immediately sentenced to death.
"A Tale of Two Santas," however, seems to have made Fox nervous with its Santa-based violence. "Futurama" co-creator David X. Cohen talked to IGN back in 2012, and he recalled planning a viewing party during the 2000 Christmas season, only to find that the episode in question had been pushed back an entire year.
A Tale of Two Santas
It's unclear why Fox objected so strenuously to "A Tale of Two Santas," as Robot Santa had already wreaked plenty of havoc in "XMas Story" a few years prior, and that episode contained more violence than the 2000 follow-up. But object they did. Cohen recalls encountering the unexpected cancelation, as well as his very creative response. As Cohen said:
"Yeah, there's one thing on the season 3 DVDs which is kind of embarrassing to me, but I will go ahead and mention it. It's an Easter egg on season 3 relating to our second Christmas episode featuring the murderous Santa Claus robot. Fox had banned it from airing. It was supposed to air one December and they decided it was unsuitable for 7 p.m. They just took it off the schedule completely. They did end up showing it one year later at 9:30 [p.m.]."
As to the season 3 DVDs, it seems Cohen's only recourse was to make a jokey, seemingly improvised video explaining what happened ... with a few healthy scoops of bitterness. The video was intended to screen with "A Tale of Two Santas" at an office Christmas party and was meant to be for the eyes of the "Futurama" staff only. That video eventually hit DVDs, hidden somewhere within. The video is presented without the above context. If an idle DVD owner happened upon the video blind, they might be a little baffled as to what was going on.
The video was a tongue-in-cheek "warning" as to why "A Tale of Two Santas" shouldn't be seen by adults, children, or anyone.
A very special Xmas message
Cohen continued:
"In the meantime, we were all depressed because we had put a lot of work into it so we had our annual Christmas party and so we decided we're going to watch it here. So I had recorded an introduction at our office in L.A. and a couple of editors produced this little movie. It's my introduction as why it's unsuitable for viewing by anyone. You can see me in my tuxedo and various other outfits doing this mini-movie."
Resourceful "Futurama" fans who might not own the season 3 DVDs or merely don't have the wherewithal to go hunting through the discs' menu screens looking for the Easter egg can find the video online easily enough. In the video, Cohen staged a phone call with fake Fox execs, feigning bafflement as to why it was moved from 7 to 9:30 p.m. ... and also pushed back a while bloody year. Cohen also credits writer Bill Odenkirk for being the sick, depraved mind who invented a horrid piece of trash like "A Tale of Two Santas." Cohen also stages a special thank you in a parking lot across the street from the Fox building in Westwood, California, giving gratitude to guest star Coolio for agreeing to appear in the episode. He feeds an ice cream cone to Coolio's photo.
Cohen's final word is in the Fox parking structure, and the producer, back in his tuxedo, drives away holding a glass of champagne.
The video was shot on a phone or consumer-grade camera and was clearly thrown off in an afternoon. It seemed to be a fun outlet for Cohen to express his frustration over skittish Fox censors who pulled an episode of his for no explainable reason.