Cool Stuff: The Many Saltburn Candles Of Jacob Elordi's Bath Water Are Missing A Certain Scent
Warning: this article spoils the bathtub scene in "Saltburn.
Whether you loved the film or couldn't stand it, there's no denying that Emerald Fennell's lavish exploration of rich people behaving badly in "Saltburn" was one of 2023's most talked about films. Rosamund Pike's devastating ability to make preposterous lines like "I was a lesbian for a while, you know, but it was all a bit too wet for me in the end," sound completely normal certainly garnered a lot of chatter among film fans. Still, one moment in the film has become a cultural phenomenon. Yes, I'm talking about "The Bathtub Scene."
Sickos and perverts [complimentary] have been cheering about such a scene coming from an Oscar-winning filmmaker, and Gen Z freaks [complimentary] made it a TikTok trend to shock unsuspecting parents by showing them the moment over the holiday season. The Alamo Drafthouse even gave out promotional plastic bathtub cups during early screenings that are now selling on eBay for over $150 a pop, a sign that everyone has "Saltburn" bathtub scene fever.
You may be wondering how you too can get in on the fun, and fortunately, the answer lies with fast-moving sellers on Etsy, who are attempting to capture the scent of Jacob Elordi's bathwater with new candles. A cursory scroll on the website lists over a dozen different versions of candles that either smell like Jacob Elordi, Jacob Elordi's bathwater, his character Felix Catton's bathwater, as well as a variety of glassware with phrases like "I'd rather be drinking Felix's bathwater" printed on them. It's a bit objectifying as Elordi's not signed off on his name or likeness for any of these candles (the modus operandi of a majority of online crafters), but a bigger crime is that of all of the different scent combinations looking to capture the supposed smell, they're all missing a very important ingredient.
Saltburn bathwater candles are scented without ... protein
The scent profile of the "Saltburn" inspired bathwater candles varies from seller to seller, with many incorporating saltwater with higher-class scents like amber, leather, and orchids. Many of the sellers have merely offered the label reading "Jacob Elordi's Bathwater" as an option, giving buyers the option to choose from a group of pre-selected stock scents instead. But every single seller offering a candle inspired by the film scene is missing the most important aspect of Barry Keoghan's Oliver Quick late-night thirst quench ... where's the scent of Felix's special sauce?
Listen, if you're going to go through all of the trouble to market a candle inspired by a scene where a sloppy lil' bottom boy slurps up the leftover bathwater of his crush after he snapped one off in it, to the point where he's inhaling the water lingering above the drain, you commit to the bit! If I wanted a candle with nodes of salted amber, I'd just go to the mall and snag "In the Stars" from Bath & Body Works. And sure, I get it, trying to capture the afterglow aroma of a good session playing five-on-one isn't easy, and that smell can cut through even the most powerful fragrances, but isn't that half the fun?!
Anyway, the candle that interested me the most came from Etsy seller ShaunsDrawns with a scent combination of sea salt and orchid. The shop also sells "Paul Mescal's Armpit" (white sage and lavender) inspired by "All Of Us Strangers." Get 'em while they're hot ... and before MGM starts slapping sellers with intellectual property suits.