Meghan Markle Was Battling An Internal Fear During Season 1 Of Suits
Being a part of a widely-loved legal drama series can be daunting, even for seasoned actors who are able to do their roles justice. Before retiring from her acting career, Meghan Markle played attorney Rachel Zane in "Suits" for seven seasons straight — a character that starts off as a paralegal at Pearson Hardman law firm and gradually makes her way through the show's cut-throat world. While the series gravitates towards framing Rachel as someone defined by her romantic relationship, Markle adds visible depth to what little she's given to work with over time, shining in scenes shared with characters such as Donna Paulsen (Sarah Rafferty).
Given how Markle did her best in making Rachel Zane a grounded, multidimensional character, it is a bit baffling to think that the retired actor had major misgivings about her abilities for the role during season 1 of the show. Part of her anxiety was due to the fact that "Suits" opened with a pilot that had massive potential to take off, and Markle had previously "done so many pilots that [had] never [seen] the light of day" (via Glamour UK). At the time, nobody on the "Suits" team had an inkling about the explosive popularity the show would go on to enjoy over the years, and Markle was also pleasantly surprised when her misgivings about her own performance were proven to be in vain.
Consumed by self-doubt
Despite developing a complicated relationship with her work over the years, Markle has consistently expressed positive sentiments about her work on the show. Speaking to People, Markle talked about her role as Rachel as "tick[ing] the box," where she feels "very proud of the work" she has done.
However, this was not the case when Markle had started filming season 1 of "Suits." In an interview with Variety about her acting career and the kind of legacy she wants to leave behind, Markle talked about her initial years as a struggling actor and how she believed that her performance wasn't convincing enough for the audience:
"For me, I had tried for so long to land on a show, filming all these pilots, wondering if they would get picked up. All of Season 1 on 'Suits,' I was convinced I was going to get recast. All the time. It got to a point where the creator [Aaron Korsh] was like, 'Why are you so worried about this?'"
As it turns out, Korsh was absolutely right. Markle imbued Rachel with the appropriate gravitas to facilitate her arc from a young girl who fails her UN model trial to someone who overcomes her sense of inadequacy while climbing up the corporate ladder. Thankfully, Markle no longer feels the way she once did, and rightfully takes pride in contributing to an unforgettable series that is still expanding years after its original run ended.