There's A Big Problem With The Zune In Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3

In November 2006 Microsoft introduced the Zune, a digital music player designed to compete with Apple's iPod, which already had a five-year head start in the marketplace. But I don't have to tell you that. If there's one thing history has taught us, it's that you should never underestimate the appeal of a good old-fashioned Zune. The Zune's dominance of the digital marketplace continues today, and it's a very safe bet that every single person reading this article has a Zune in their pocket right now, probably playing all the latest hit songs from Puddle of Mudd and Sugar Ray.

Yes, yes, I kid, I kid. The Zune was discontinued in 2011 after lackluster sales, and seemed destined to fade into near-total obscurity until filmmaker James Gunn resurrected it as a cheap joke in 2017 at the end of "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2." After two whole feature films scored predominantly by old-fashioned audio cassette mixtapes, Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) received a new(ish) digital music device capable of holding hundreds of songs. And instead of the good one, or at least the one that sold really well which everyone remembers, he got himself a Zune. 

It's a funny gag and, let's be honest, a clever way to get around giving Peter a branded device that would reek of shameless product placement, because the product that's being placed is completely defunct. And yet, while the Zune may have been a funny reveal and a subversive way to get around one of the crassest forms of cinematic commercialism, seeing the Zune in action in "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3" reveals quite concretely that there's something wrong with it.

Unlike the first two mixtapes, the Zune doesn't mean anything.

Peter's mom is why it's going on

Peter Quill's first mixtape wasn't just the soundtrack to the original "Guardians of the Galaxy." Heck, it wasn't just the soul of the movie either. It was an entire character.

The mixtape, bequeathed to Peter by his dying mother Meredith (Laura Haddock) at the beginning of the movie, was full of songs with very specific messages. They were songs that she loved and wanted to share with him. They represented her passion and dreams. Songs like The Five Stairsteps' "O-o-h Child" and Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" aren't just blockbuster retro pop tracks ironically juxtaposed against a futuristic sci-fi backdrop, they're messages to Peter Quill from a parent who loved him, who wouldn't get to see him grow up.

Lyrics like, "Ooh child, things are gonna get easier," are recontextualized when delivered from a dying or dead mother to her young son. "When I die and they lay me to rest, I'm gonna go to the place that's the best," is very specifically, in the context of the film, a message of comfort for a grieving child.

These aren't just songs, they're love notes, and by carrying that love note with him throughout the vast reaches of space, Peter Quill is taking every single one of his incredible journeys with his mother right there with him. Every needle drop is Meredith contributing to the ensemble, right alongside Gamora, Drax, Groot, and Rocket.

Peter can't you see that it's just a Zune to me

The first "Guardians of the Galaxy" movie ended with Peter receiving a second mix tape from his mother, full of more messages and deeper connections with his past. That second film continued in the tradition of keeping Meredith front and center, her songs commenting on all the action like she was right there with Peter. But when Peter's father, Ego (Kurt Russell), revealed he killed Meredith and then broke Peter's Walkman, Meredith left the picture.

It was a shocking moment in "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2," and arguably quite powerful. By destroying Peter's conception of his father, and retroactively changing his knowledge of his mother's past, Peter was forced to rethink his identity and his relationships with others around him. If Peter's birth father was a monster, then that made it all the clearer that Yondu (Michael Rooker), a problematic but at the very least invested father figure who raised Peter after Meredith's death, was the person who deserved to be called his dad.

But while all these revelations may have recontextualized Peter's past, they don't change his relationship with his loving mother, whose music would no longer be present in the series after "Vol. 2." Instead, Peter gets a Zune from his friend Kraglin (Sean Gunn), containing hundreds of songs that weren't curated for Peter the way his mixtape was. They're a bunch of tunes, really, with no guarantee that any of them would be any good, and no connection whatsoever to the character the previous mixtapes represented. Or to anyone else, except the total stranger who used to own that Zune.

I know it might be wrong but this soundtrack needed Peter's mom

"Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3" tries to make a big deal out of Peter's new Zune, using it to drive the eclectic soundtrack, spark quibbles between Peter and Rocket, and educate other members of the film's vast ensemble in Earth music. (Why no other planet seems to have good music is a question left unanswered).

Of course, all these new songs mean something to the film because they're curated by James Gunn and specifically selected to underscore the film's many dramatic beats. And while it's a great soundtrack, and needle drops like "Dog Days Are Over" by Florence + The Machine might very well bring a tear to your eye (heck, it brought a tear to Florence Welch's eyes), they're missing a layer that the soundtracks from the first two "Guardians" movies boasted.

This new soundtrack is just a soundtrack. The first two soundtracks were Meredith Quill.

And I miss Meredith Quill. There was something heartbreakingly beautiful about the idea that, after someone leaves your life, you take them with them in a tangible way, and the things you loved about their life still have a meaningful impact. The "Guardians" movies were about traveling the universe with a beloved member of the family, and while Peter Quill certainly found a new sort of family, the way Gunn's new film tries to act like its soundtrack has the same impact as the other feels a bit phony.

Imagine if Rocket died and in the next film they teamed up with an anthropomorphic panda with the same personality, who was treated just like Rocket. They'd look similar but we'd know they're not the same, and I just don't care as much about a replacement as I do for a character I've grown to love.

"Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3" is currently in theaters.