House Of The Dragon's Aegon Is A Dumpster Fire, But You Would Be Too

This article contains spoilers for "House of the Dragon."

Now that "House of the Dragon" has jumped a decade into the future, the adorable silver-haired bundle of toddler joy of Queen Alicent Hightower and King Viserys Targaryean has transformed into a thing of nightmares — an entitled, hormonally charged, revolting teenage boy. Prince Aegon (Ty Tennant) is an absolute nuisance, and is filling the void left behind by King Joffrey Baratheon in "Game of Thrones." There's a special brand of privileged jackassery held by the royal teen sons of Westeros, one that can only exist in a person who has been preened and primed since birth to be worshiped, feared, and honored.

While King Viserys has been firm in declaring his daughter Rhaenyra as the heir to his throne, Mama Alicent knows that Westeros won't honor a woman in charge, and has been prepping her precious Aegon to sit on the Iron Throne since birth. To give Aegon credit, his greatest crimes thus far are being a horny jackwagon and an insufferable twat, but as "Game of Thrones" already told us, he's got a nasty future of vindictive evil ahead of him.

And yet, even without the sociopathic tendencies of someone like Joffrey, Aegon is earning himself no fans for simply being himself. In a world where the competition for the title of "Show's Biggest Dumpster Fire" include people who murder their wife for political gain, a knight who gay bashes his lover's husband's lover, and Jason Lannister, Aegon's rise as the resident "Character I Want To Punt Kick" is sincerely impressive. Despite his position as a pest and a half, it's hard to blame him for acting like a major league tool when everything in his life has molded him to be this way.

Socialized to supremely suck

As the oldest of King Viserys and Queen Alicent's sons, Aegon has major Greg Brady/Johnny Bravo syndrome. He's a grade-A jerk to his younger brother Aemond, which could be explained as standard sibling rivalry, but the subconscious knowledge that he'll likely someday be king has definitely armed him with some unearned confidence he exerts over his siblings. This behavior extends to his treatment of his cousins, like Rhaenyra's oldest son Jacaerys, who he tried to whomp with a wooden sword during a training session, simply because he can.

Look, I want to be mad at him and think he's a total jagaloon, but this kid wasn't born evil like Joffrey Baratheon, he was conditioned to be this way. The Westerosi people do indeed live in a society, and it's one that values stroking the ego of a would-be king before they're toilet-trained. Aegon is the oldest son of the most powerful man in all of the seven kingdoms, and plenty of people already view him as their next king. Of course he's going to be an entitled little s*** — he doesn't have a Tyrion Lannister in his corner to keep him humble. At the same time, King Viserys is steadfast in naming Rhaenyra as his heir, so Aegon's attitude could also be rooted in the age-old tradition of White Boys Who Can't Deal Not Being Daddy's Favorite™, which is the weirdly enough the plot of another HBO hit show, "Succession." Alexa, play "Tale As Old As Time" by Celine Dion.

His jerk behavior does not go unnoticed

Unlike Queen Cersei, who made excuses for Joffrey's behavior at every turn, Queen Alicent is fully aware that her eldest is on his path to becoming the medieval version of the reply guys who worship Elon Musk, but is too busy playing her own game of 3D survival chess to enact any real change. She does her best to call him on his nonsense, especially after pulling a pig prank on Aemond, but in a world that devalues women at every turn, it would shock absolutely no one if one day Aegon pulled a King Theoden in "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" and busted out a "You have no power here."

To make matters worse, King Viserys' current state of health could best be described as "The Maitlands in 'Beetlejuice' when they start decaying on the dining room table," so his attempts to curb Aegon's budding villainy are futile. Queen Alicent is too annoyed with having to take care of everything all the time to heed his advice, and King Viserys is as active as a "thoughts and prayers" tweet from a politician.

Even Ser Harwin Strong, the rumored true father of Rhaenrya's three sons has had enough of his 'tude, manhandling his punkass for bullying Jacaerys during sword training and screaming at Ser Criston Cole (Rhaenyra's ex-lover) "This is how you teach Cole? Cruelty to the weaker opponent?" Ser Criston Cole has taken a liking to using the Targaryen children as vehicles for his own anger toward Rhaenyra, positioning Aegon as his muscle. Again, do we expect the boy to not feel infallible?

The importance of wank in the window

Aegon's feelings toward those around him is most evident in what will likely be known as "The Window Scene," when Queen Alicent walks in on him standing in the window of the Red Keep in The Full Monty, performing a five-knuckle shuffle with the sun in his face and without a care in the world as to who may possibly see him. This moment could be interpreted as his blatant disregard for the commoners of Westeros, or it could be an example of a teenage boy doing something with his junk because it feels awesome. Have you ever given yourself the "Big O" freely in nature? IT'S GREAT! And given the history of what happens in George R. R. Martin's universe (see: Bran Stark and Tommen Baratheon), Aegon beating his meat with the wind on his face is the least traumatic thing to ever happen to a teen boy in a window!

This moment is vital because we see Aegon as the teenage boy he truly is, only to be interrupted by Queen Alicent, who holds his naked face in his hands and basically screams "your Aunt Rhaenyra and her bastard kids are the enemy and they're gonna kill you unless you prepare to take over the throne." JEEZE, MOM. EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING?! This moment is vital because the targeted violence Aegon exerts over his nephews only takes place after this conversation, further proving that this is a kid being influenced by the adults in his life, who are treating children like political pawns. Instead of actually trying to make her son a kinder, more empathetic person, Alicent is weaponizing his budding wickedness for personal gain.

Get this boy a therapist

It is true that Aegon has an extremely punchable face, the hair of a Spirit Halloween costume of Marvel's Pietro Maximoff, and a blatant disregard for the feelings of anyone that isn't himself or his mother, but this kid is the poster child of being a product of his environment. Aegon has been doomed to a life of arrogance since jump street, and knowing what madness lies ahead in his future, the blame lies with all of those in Westeros who enabled and encouraged him. The patriarchy hurts everyone, and that includes those who benefit from the oppressive structure. Aegon is walking proof of that fact, and we're witnessing the making of a monster.

Aegon's got some serious issues, but he's an extremely impressionable child who is operating within the circumstances he's been forced into. This is not meant to be a "boys will be boys" defense of the little twerp, but it is a call to reexamine just how this kid ended up this way, and how often society perpetuates the vicious cycle of these little jerks by not intervening and allowing them to revel in their chaotic buttholery. Aegon has little moments where the potential for him to be a kind and protective uncle to his nephews is obvious, but when he's got adults directing him to act in opposition of his instincts, we're left with, well, a wanker.