New Alien Figure Shows Off H.R. Giger's Original, Abandoned Design

If you thought the Xenomorphs couldn't look more off-putting, you were wrong and the folks at Mezco Toyz really want you to know it. They just released a brand new (and frankly, horrifying-looking) Xenomorph figure inspired by H.R. Giger's original, unused design, and it will give you low-key nightmares. While Giger's design isn't completely different from the version that scared both children and adults throughout the "Alien" franchise, it's still feels a tinge more upsetting. I only wish they announced this figure before Christmas, so I could have had it waiting lovingly (and hauntingly) under the tree.

Succinctly titled the "One:12 Collective Alien Concept Edition," the figure features the translucent skin that featured heavily in Giger's design. According to Collider, the "Alien" production team attempted to make this design work, but after having issues with the original suit's material, they switched gears and went with the black latex look that's become rightfully iconic. The black latex look might be a better fit for the psychosexual vibe of the movies, but the milky skin of Mezco's action figure just feels ... grosser. This Xenomorph looks like a bug you found deep underground. It looks sick and diseased. It looks like touching it would make your hand very moist (and cause boils to pop up all over your skin or something). The light color makes every ridge and crag of the Xenomorph's body pop, and I don't like it. I mean, I love it, but I don't like it.

It Makes My Insides Feel Bad!

This is the kind of toy you buy for a child you really don't like. Or maybe it's the kind of toy you buy, and display, to keep house guests from overstaying their welcome. While staring at the figure (which I've been doing for arguably way too long, I'm kind of mesmerized by its skin), I keep thinking, what if this was a haunted doll? You know how people sell all kinds of wild "haunted" dolls on Ebay? What if you were cruising the 'bay one day and this popped up? Would you be more interested or less interested in it than the usual haunted dolls? Also, what if they remade "The Conjuring" movies, but instead of Annabelle being a run-of-the-mill creepy porcelain doll, she was straight up a Xenomorph doll? Do you think that would make the movies scarier? This is some real food for thought. And I will be thinking about it. At night. While I sleep. In my nightmares.

As a side note, I've been wondering for a while if "The Conjuring" franchise would be as popular if Annabelle was an American Girl doll. Like, if a house of people was haunted by Felicity or Kit or Addy, would we (read: me) still be throwing my money and my body at James Wan? Something to bring up with my therapist.

Anyway, if you need this skim-milk Xenomorph in your life, I have good news and good news. The first good news is that the figure comes with "a hinged jaw with interchangeable inner mouths, as well as an interchangeable chest plate pierced by the ASSO-400 Harpoon Grappling Gun," six interchangeable hands, two Ovomorph eggs, two facehuggers, a chestburster and a display base. The other good news is that it's only $100, which kind of makes it a steal when you start doing the math. I mean six hands? They're practically giving them away.

The One:12 Collective Alien Concept Edition is available for pre-order right now. Don't say we didn't warn you.