'Arctic Dogs' Trailer: It's Like 'Balto,' But With Fewer Dying Children

Remember Balto, the 1995 animated movie about a sled dog who must make a dangerous trek in order to deliver life-saving medicine to the children of an isolated community? The new film Arctic Dogs asks "What if that, but without so many tiny coffins?" Yes, this is an animated film about animals delivering packages across the snowy wilderness and it is complete with everything you've come to loathe about so many modern animated movies: a needlessly stacked celebrity cast, a volume that never drops below 11, and so much more! Hate-watch the Arctic Dogs trailer below.

Arctic Dogs Trailer

The first joke is that the main character of Arctic Dogs isn't even a dog! He's a fox! But he wants to do the job of a dog! Hilarious! Anyway, that fox is voiced by Jeremy Renner, AKA your kid's favorite Avenger. He's backed up by all of the celebrities your young ones can't stop talking about, including Heidi Klum, James Franco, John Cleese, Omar Sy, Michael Madsen, Laurie Holden, Anjelica Huston, and Alec Baldwin. Man, this movie is on the proper wavelength! Children love that Omar Sy.

In a season where Frozen II looks to dominate the box office, is there room for another animated movie set against an icy backdrop? Probably not. But here's the official synopsis, just in case you need to memorize it as part of a twisted movie news game where your life is on the line or something:

Swifty the Arctic fox works in the mail room of the Arctic Blast Delivery Service but dreams of one day becoming a Top Dog (the Arctic's star husky couriers). To prove himself worthy of the Top Dog role, Swifty secretly commandeers one of the sleds and delivers a package to a mysterious location. He stumbles upon a secret fortress where he comes face to face with Otto Von Walrus, a blubbery evil genius who walks around on mechanical legs and commands a loyal army of oddly polite puffin henchmen. Swifty soon discovers Von Walrus' plan to melt the polar ice caps and flood the world in order to reign supreme. Now, Swifty has to enlist the help of his friends: PB, a concerned polar bear, Lemmy, a scatterbrained albatross, Bertha and Leopold, two conspiracy theorist otters and Jade, a worldly fox. This ragtag group of Arctic misfits has to band together to stop Von Walrus' sinister plans and save the day.

Arctic Dogs opens on November 1, 2019.