The Original 'Halloween' Honest Trailer, Starring Cinema's Most Deadly Mouth Breather

Now that the new Halloween in theaters, marking the third attempt at making Halloween II, and the third time a movie was called simply Halloween, take a tongue-in-cheek look back at the film that started it all.

John Carpenter's Halloween is the beginning of the slasher trend of movies with masked killers stalking suburban teens, and there's a reason Michael Myers is still one of the most iconic slashers of all time. However, maybe we shouldn't rule out Dr. Samuel Loomis (Donald Pleasance) for being a bit of a dick in his own way.

While Dr. Samuel Loomis seems to be the only one who truly knows how deadly Michael Myers is, he's not exactly the best psychiatrist. What kind of doctor gives up on their patients, no matter how far beyond redemption they seem to be?

Plus, as the Halloween Honest Trailer astutely points out, what the f*** happened to Michael Myers' face since he was a kid with a perfectly normal left eye? Furthermore, Dr. Loomis apparently has no problem taking a handicapped parking spot in front of a health facility. So sure, let's listen to this guy who gets a quick jolly out of scaring a kid away from a rundown house where a woman was killed awhile ago.

Also, can we take a moment to acknowledge that Laurie Strode's friend, the sheriff's daughter, Annie might be the worst friend ever? She just cuts Laurie down at every turn and couldn't be more of a Debbie Downer.