In Space, No One Can Hear Eli Roth Make A Secret Horror Movie [UPDATED]

Update: Well, it turns out this teaser looked really cheap for a reason! This is not a real movie, but viral marketing for the web series Junketeers. I tip my hat to Eli Roth playing along with the joke and readily admit that I was fooled...although I now feel a whole lot better knowing that this trailer doesn't represent an actual project. The original article follows.

For a little while there, it looked like Eli Roth had vanished. Although he worked steadily as a producer in the years after the (surprisingly smart and deeply underrated) Hostel: Part II died a quick death at the box office, it took him a long time to return to the director's chair. And now, he's starting to pump movies out left and right. His cannibal movie throwback The Green Inferno divided audiences. His quasi-home invasion thriller Knock Knock riled up the corner of the film world that saw it. He's set to direct Bruce Willis in the Death Wish remake and Jim Carrey in Aleister Arcane. Dare we call this a comeback? Can any of these new projects act as an apology for that dreadful Cabin Fever remake he allowed into the world?

Now we can add another movie to that pile. It seems that Roth has been working on a secret project called Mission: Fear and he's personally unleashed the first teaser upon the internet.

Let's just go ahead and get this out of the way right now: the Mission: Fear teaser is total garbage. It looks like it was cobbled together by a middle schooler with access to an ancient version of Adobe After Effects. There is no footage from the film. No suggestion of a premise. Even the voice over is, for lack of a more elegant phrase, complete and total crap. The only thing we can glean from this thing is that Roth is attached to a horror movie that apparently takes place in space that will be released in April 2017. It's quite clear Roth whipped this thing up on his own because he had some time to kill.

As bad as this teaser is, consider my interest piqued. Roth has made movies I've liked and movies I've despised, but the man has the habit of not repeating himself. Even though he operates within the horror genre, he leaps between different styles and forms and always seems interested in trying something new, even when it doesn't work at all. I remain interested in him as a filmmaker and it's going to take another debacle on the level of The Green Inferno to really shake me.

It should also be noted that the teaser never specifically says that Roth is directing Mission: Fear, so he could very well be serving as a producer on someone else's film. If this is a case, your guess is as good as mine about what we can expect. After all, he produced the exceptional The Last Exorcism and the equally chilling The Sacrament! But he also produced Aftershock and the less said about that, the better.