Rant: First Look At A Vampire In The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe

We here at Slashfilm have been pressing Warner Bros. to release The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe theatrically for some time. Tonight, the first image of a vampire from the film has surfaced at STYD, and I'm a little iffed. While the images of Corey Feldman's return as Edgar Frog show promise, as did the recent announcement that Corey Haim will definitely be in the film, this image screams direct-to-DVD to me. Compare the shot below of Kiefer Sutherland's vampire, David, from the 1987 classic to this steakhead vampire above.

Now, the vampires in the sequels are reportedly surfers, which might explain the rather cheesy subtitle. This reminds me, hey studio people: simplify it to The Lost Boys 2. The original title's inspiration is the Lost Boys in Peter Pan, who were already a tribe of sorts. Adding "The Tribe" is just a bad sign for America, really. And as we all know, surfers go two ways: steakhead jock idiots and "divine princes of decadence" like Bunker Spreckels. And then there's Bodhi from Point Break who mixed them together and pulled it off, which is as hard to do as looking cool in a pair of crocs while working at Wal-Mart.

The necklace on this vampire is beyond cheesy. When The Lost Boys came out, the biker vampires in that flick reached highs of coked-out '80s overindulgence and super-cool matched only by Axl Rose. Back to this new image: there's also the tiki torch in the back, which connotes "steakhead surfer stereotype" and teen shows like The O.C. And is the vampire wearing a punk-studded bracelet? I can't tell. If so, stupes. He's also bald, which is Kelly Slater-ish, but also reminds me of Neil Strauss in The Game and that's always a sign to stay away from something. Surfers have rock star hair, it's a fact, why not utilize that, while paying a lil' homage to the Aqua Net-junkie '80s originals?

The fangs are a little too pronounced. The blood can go either way. This photo was released to satisfy the gore hounds. The girl's bikini/dress is kind of stupid, generic and unhot, and The Lost Boys is about sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll and staying young forever, maybe in that order. I'm not giving up on the film, but after all of the "we get it" and the "original is a classic, we won't screw this up" promises from screenwriter Hans Rodionoff and director P.J. Pesce, this image is disconcerting because it doesn't get it. You can still make this sequel with a modest budget and have it be awesome, there is no excuse. If this turns out to be The Lost Boys with Seth Cohen and it does go to theaters after fans fought ferociously for it to, prepare for a battle comparable to, I dunno, Axl Rose vs. Tommy Hilfiger.

Discuss: Does the new vampire image impact whether you'll see The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, one way or the other?lb21.jpglostboys1.jpg