Succession Season 4 Power Ranking: The Roys Come Undone At The World's Saddest Wedding Rehearsal
(The bid for power has not only intensified in season 4 of "Succession," but is approaching its end: now more than ever, anyone can come out on top. As the series comes to a close, we'll be tracking the rise and fall of the Roys, their allies, and their never-ending list of enemies.)
Two fake liberals, a fascist, and a libertarian walk into a bar. Is this the start of a hilarious political joke? Nope, just a succinct description of Connor Roy's wedding rehearsal. Note that there's no mention of the bride, who fled the scene whilst choking down regret.
In typical "Succession" fashion, an upcoming wedding means lots of doom and gloom amongst the Roy siblings, who spend the wedding rehearsal squabbling about whether or not to sabotage their dad's big deal with Lukas Matsson. Apparently, stealing PGN wasn't enough to quench their thirst for vengeance so they start scheming about another way to ruin his day. Eventually, things get so dire that Logan (Brian Cox) has no choice but to show up at a karaoke bar and talk them down from the ledge. It goes poorly.
In a not-so-shocking turn of events, Logan ends the night more pissed off and exasperated than when he first arrived. Surveying his kids — Connor (Alan Ruck) more pitiful than ever, Shiv (Sarah Snook) frazzled and vengeful, Kendall (Jeremy Strong) high on his own ego supply, and Roman (Kieran Culkin) just desperate for affection — he sees how much they haven't changed. The Pierce win aside, they haven't learned a damn thing. "You're such f***ing dopes," he says in the end. "You are not serious figures. I love you, but you are not serious people."
A moment of silence for the love sponges
Not to get too philosophical but ... what the hell is power anyway? In earlier seasons of "Succession," trying to determine winners and losers was so much simpler. The brash CEO who invents Boar on the Floor to torture his lackeys? A winner. The kid who was one homerun away from becoming a millionaire? A loser. The guy blowing up his dad's empire with a single press conference? A winner. Tom Wambsgans? A loser.
But as the series enters its endgame, trying to figure out who's on top has become exceedingly difficult — especially among the Roys. Typically, I err on the side of their professional standing, but with their personal lives in such shambles, it's hard to think of any of these siblings as "winners." Connor reaches new levels of pathetic in this episode, drinking away what's supposed to be a celebratory night while melancholy ripples off of him in waves. But he also has a point when he looks at his younger siblings and calls them "love sponges." He speaks with clarity when he says that whether his fiance returns or not, he'll make it through. He's the only one of them not chasing after something he knows he'll never get: his father's love. Is that ... a win? This is getting bleak as hell.
Logan's tyranny has so defined their lives that even when the Roy kids think they've gotten out from under his thumb, they're one phone call away from being sucked back in. Or, in Roman's case, one text message. Learning that her father has helped Tom with the divorce sends Shiv into a spiral. Being threatened by Matsson does the same to Kendall. Meanwhile, the possibility of hearing an apology is what breaks Roman. Just like that their alliance is fractured. Could they still pull this together? I hope so, I always do. But the pattern keeps repeating: they come together, only for Logan to tear them apart.
In the aftermath of this episode's mess, let's take a look at our winners and losers.
10. Dedicated PGN viewers
Picture this: you sit back on your couch with an ice-cold glass of vinegary red wine, ready to catch up on primetime news coverage but instead of bald men talking about NATO, your go-to news source has been overrun by "hotties" giving you the "full Clockwork Orange." In this scenario, you are Nan Pierce and you've sold your news corporation to three idiot siblings. So this is all your fault.
As for all the other PGN viewers of the world? Sorry for your loss, but it's time to find a new network. Otherwise, prepare for an onslaught of Kendall Roy's Big Ideas: hardcore international news! Global-global to hyperlocal! A network that will finally answer the question on everyone's mind: what is happening in Africa nowadays? Kendall certainly doesn't know. In fact, despite his private school education, I'm not convinced that he could identify Africa as a continent and not a country. But none of that matters because thanks to the magic of being able to say the biggest number ($10 billion, which he and his siblings still don't have), Kendall and his Big Ideas will soon have a huge impact on America's media landscape. Yikes.
9. Jess, Kerry, all the other Waystar grunts
Pour one out for the ATN grunt who had to write an email while Logan prowled the floor with "a slight sense that he may kill someone." The Waystar beast is clearly unfamiliar with the anxiety-inducing task of writing emails otherwise he wouldn't loom behind the poor guy like a monster. Emails are hard, dammit! Not all of us can simply message people to "f*** off" and move on with our lives! We have to figure out the intricacies of exclamation points and polite-yet-subtly-pushy requests! Though Logan doesn't end up biting the guy's head off or murdering him on the spot, he does give him a patronizing pat on the back while saying, "Please, don't exhaust yourself." That kind of thinly veiled contempt is bound to haunt Email Guy for the next decade.
This episode is, generally speaking, a very bad time for those on the lower levels of the Waystar food chain. For the nameless grunts, their biggest obstacle is Logan on the prowl. But then there's the unfortunate reality of those with slightly higher status — like Jess (Juliana Canfield), the most dedicated assistant of all time. As usual, Jess is trying her damndest to hold everything together but much like that time he nearly murdered a rabbit, Kendall refuses to hear reason. Maybe if he'd paid attention when she suggested they leave on time for Connor's wedding rehearsal, they would have made it to the helicopter before Logan poisoned the pilot against them. Alas, their ride flies away without them and Jess is berated by Roman when she can't immediately conjure them a car.
But Jess and Email Guy have nothing on Kerry (Zoe Winters), who has quickly gone from the apple of Logan's eye to an embarrassment that he refuses to outright address. She still gets to stride by his side, of course, doing his bidding with disillusionment in her eyes, but her dreams of becoming an ATN anchor have effectively been crushed ... and by Greg, of all people. All the while, her audion tape has become an office joke so powerful, that even the Roy kids on the outskirts of the company have the opportunity to mock her.
8. Gerri (the Viking enthusiast) and Hugo (the office idiot)
Gerri (J. Smith Cameron) and Hugo (Fisher Stevens) only appear for one brief scene, but evidently, that's all you need to earn a top slot on Logan Roy's s*** list. Charged with putting the finishing touches on his deal with Matsson, both of them manage to piss off their soon-to-be-former boss hours before he seals the deal. In her defense, Gerri does nothing wrong! Because, as always, Gerri rules. But as the interim CEO, she is a walking-talking threat to Logan's authority, and even though the company won't be his in 24 hours, he feels threatened by her making decisions with Matsson in mind instead of him. By the episode's end, Gerri is being cut out of important conversations — yet another reminder that it doesn't matter how much time or loyalty you dedicate to Logan because he'll always turn on you when it suits.
As for Hugo, his punishment is 100% earned. Laughing at Kerry's audition tape seconds before a scheduled meeting with Logan is a rookie mistake, but even worse is the fact that he plugs in his computer while knowing that the video is still open. Plug out the HDMI cord, you fool!
7. Connor and Willa, and their 'fairytale wedding'
Last week, I earnestly commented that Willa (Justine Lupe) and Connor might be the happiest people in "Succession" because despite being unfulfilled and not entirely in love, they at least have someone else to lean on. But that was before I witnessed the desperate cry for help known as their wedding rehearsal dinner. It goes forth with 0 (zero) of Connor's family members in attendance, which is probably for the best because the bride herself doesn't bother to stick around, declaring "I can't do this" before fleeing the scene to drink away her sorrows.
It's not a total bust though, because once his siblings finally show up, Connor gets to spend quality time with his family! A man of the people, he decides that the only way to salvage the night is to go to a real bar with "chicks" and men who have sweat on their hands and "blood in their hair." Frankly, their working-class karaoke bar still oozes hipster energy. There's no bloody hair in sight and in the end, Connor spends most of the night staring at the dot on his phone that reveals Willa's location.
Per the dot, Willa spirals all across Manhattan, understandably spooked by the idea of marrying into the Roy family for a man she doesn't even love. Elsewhere, Connor morosely endures another familiar squabble, as his siblings ignore his Leonard Cohen-fueled cry for help to instead tank the GoJo deal. Not one to the scheme, he snitches to Logan to get him in the room and watches yet another awful family gathering play out — this time including comments about his mother (who was institutionalized by Logan, according to Ken).
The night before their wedding is awful in a million different ways but in the end, Connor and Willa retreat to their apartment, to their bed, and into each other's arms. So I guess my theory stands: they might be the least miserable people here because at least they've figured out that having someone else around can ease some of life's pains.
6. Shiv
In this episode, Shiv's horrible, no good, very bad week continues. Having officially declared her intention to divorce Tom (Matthews Macfadyen), she sets her people to the task of finding a bulldog New York-based divorce lawyer but she quickly runs into a problem: Tom has met with all of the top options in the city, meaning they're conflicted out or already retained. I guessed that Tom has committed "Marriage Story" to memory, but Shiv knows better: this is a move right out of her dad's divorce playbook. It's what he did to her mom, and now it's being used on her.
Enraged that Logan is not only meddling in her personal life but helping her husband divorce her, Shiv decides to go for his throat too. She calls Sandi (Hope Davis) and agrees to vote down the GoJo sale, which would force Logan to renegotiate with Matsson. It would mean more money, which is nice and all, but most importantly it means her father would have to grovel. It means he wouldn't be the one in control.
In a way, it's a great power move from Shiv: proof that she has the upper hand on her father, especially since he's forced to attend the karaoke sesh and "politely" ask them to back off. But really, it's a loss. Shiv is so blinded by rage and vengeance, so wrapped up in her anger at Logan, that she isn't seeing things clearly. For one, she cares a lot more about this revenge quest than comforting her brother on the night before his wedding. But also, she ignores Roman's warning that Matsson would never renegotiate. And she's forgetting the very important fact that if this deal falls apart, Logan will still have ATN, and the kids will have nothing. Their PGN deal only goes thorough if they get to cash out on their Waystar shares.
So, fine, Shiv wins a small victory by forcing her dad's hand. He's pissed off and has to go meet with Matsson. But what will this cost her?
5. Roman
While Shiv and Kendall debate reopening the GoJo negotiations, Roman keeps his priorities straight: they need to settle for the deal as is and focus on comforting Connor. There's no reason to keep "poking satan with a fork" when they've already committed to PGN.
Logically, Roman knows that Matsson is temperamental and won't renegotiate. If they push, they could ruin their shot at "getting out" and unlike his siblings, he isn't blinded by ego or revenge. But naturally, Roman has a compromising factor of his own. As the birthday texts prove, he doesn't want the Italy betrayal to define his relationship with Logan forever. Eventually, he envisions the family falling back into normalcy; no RV summer vacays, like Shiv jokes, but as close as they can get.
Sure enough, Roman is moved by his dad's half-hearted apology. He's stunned just to hear the words "I'm sorry." When Logan leaves and the other two joke start making Roman-esque jokes about the joys of "f***ing Dad," he's repulsed. It was worrying enough that he received the equivalent of an "r u up" text from his dad but by the end of the episode, it's confirmed: Roman has been sucked back in.
Meeting with Logan is like taking 10 steps back. Roman has once again made himself emotionally vulnerable to a serial liar with a storied history of f***ing people over — to the man who, Kendall confirms, hit Roman throughout his childhood. But Roman merely brushed that off, opting to walk back into the lion's den. "You really want me at ATN?" he tentatively questions, only to hear a sentiment he's longed for his entire life. "More, Romulus. More. I need you."
Yes, Roman has every reason to want the GoJo deal to go through, and helping his dad with Matsson will be good, in the long run. But that still gives Logan an easy opening to wrecking the sibling alliance and hurting his son once more.
4. Zen-dall Roy
Kendall has graduated from Plastic Jesus to Tom Ford-touting Buddha. Like water, he's just letting life flow, refusing to be upset by his father's helicopter trickery or even by his presence in the room. Kendall has found his inner peace, and is no longer troubled by worldly concerns like "deep-seated parental trauma." Just kidding! Kendall is still absolutely f***ed. He tells Roman that "sometimes your greatest tormentor can also be your most perceptive teacher" and to his credit, he's definitely onto something. No one has tortured him more perceptively. Even when he's not trying, Logan is the root of Kendall's suffering; no matter how much he removes himself from his dad's orbit, Kendall always finds his way back in.
Kendall is pretty down to spin off on his own with PGN, up until Matsson offers an ultimatum: ask for more money and he'll walk. That catches Kendall's attention. Is he purposely tanking the deal because he still envisions a path to taking over Waystar, or is he stupid enough to rise to Matsson's challenge and think he can come out on top? Either way, Kendall is thinking with his ego not his brain, a move that historically ends with him losing big. The only reason he lands so high in this ranking is the temporary glee he gets from winning twice in a row. Conceited as he is, Kendall doesn't even realize that this could lead to a massive loss in the near future.
Bonus points for this hilarious exchange with Roman: "Just be water, my friend." "Just be w- wow, thanks, man. What happens if I kill a Buddhist? Do I get reincarnated as a f***ing Buddhist?"
3. Logan's Resident B**** Boys
Tom and Greg are living through a horror movie. In the first few moments of the episode, they come to the soul-crushing realization that with Waystar sold off, Logan will be in their faces all the time. All day, every day. The man has no hobbies, no loving children to distract him, and no plan to retire, and soon, the inner workings of a multimedia conglomerate won't be sapping up his time. He is on the verge of fully dedicating himself to ATN and it's terrifying. Greg likens their situation to Jaws (in which they are the victims, who also work for Jaws).
The duo gets a taste of what 24/7 Logan feels like — he prowls the floor, offers a laundry list of criticisms, then gives a speech so rousing ad filled with rage that it sounds like the beginnings of his totalitarian reign. Tom gets talked into pretending he likes Kerry's audition tape, then he gets talked out of it. Greg is forced to drop truth bombs on Logan's assistant, putting him in her crosshairs. This stress-filled day is just a taste of what's to come but at least they're still comfortable at the top ... plus, Tom has the upper edge on his future ex-wife!
2. Mr. Melodrama
If Santa Clause was a hitman, he'd look like Logan Roy in "Rehearsal": grizzled white beard and a murderous aura, befitting a man who is inexplicably wearing sunglasses indoors.
Despite what said sunglasses indicate, Logan opens the episode by reminding us that he's doing great. Why does everyone keep asking how he's doing, dammit? He's obviously fine! Selling Waystar was 100% his decision, he wasn't backed into a corner, and he's definitely happy about handing the keys to Matsson. This is great! He's fine! And not like the dog at the table surrounded by fire fine, like real fine! I mean it! Stop asking!
To his credit, Logan manages to effectively masque his crisis by burying himself in work. And by work, I mean torturing Tom and riling up a newsroom. I was half expecting him to blow a blood vessel during his speech, but it was certainly effective: you can still see shades of the man who built this empire from scratch. Though Logan has to acknowledge that his kids "have some juice," he holds the most sway in the end. He still has the power to fracture their alliance by calling Roman to his side.
But I also don't think its pure coincidence that this episode ends eerily reminiscent of the last: except instead of being a miserable old crack grumbling about the latest on Fox *cough* ATN News, he's a raving grump wandering the streets of New York, while muttering about how the city's changed for the worst. In those moments, you'd never know that he's the Great Logan Roy, cause he's just some irate old man, yelling at the sky about one thing or another. And those moments are becoming more commonplace.
1. Matsson, the 4Chan Swede
Lukas Matsson (Alexander Skarsgård) makes a single appearance in the episode, but that's all he needs to win. In a video call that is definitely 100% unaggressive, he makes fun of Kendall, threatens to launch some metaphorical nukes by walking away from the deal, and effectively reminds us that he holds all the cards. So congrats to Matsson for being in the best position of all.
Unlike everybody on this show with the last name "Roy," he pretty much has nothing to lose. At any given moment, Matsson could opt out of the deal and just continue on as the mighty tech bro that he is. He'll stay rich and far away from their mess, dooming the family to be cut out by the shareholders. Or, he'll go through with the deal and take the company that their entire lives have revolved around. He wants the company... until he doesn't. He could certainly afford to pay a bit more for Waystar, but if they push him on price and he decides to blow everything up, they're f***** and he walks away fine. It's a win-win for Matsson.