The Batman Now Has An Official Cologne, So You Can Smell Like Vengeance

If you've got $300–$400 dollars burning a hole in your wallet and the uncontrollable urge to smell like the caped crusader, boy have I got good news for you. In a partnership between Warner Bros. "The Batman" and boujee fragrance brand House of Sillage, two audacious new scents inspired by the film are now available for your smelling pleasure. The limited edition "Hero" fragrance and "Vengeance" cologne can be yours, and thankfully, the company opted for a thematically appropriate smell worthy of Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle, rather than the stank monstrosity that likely radiates off of the Bat suit.

"Discover the olfactory journey through Gotham City with the theatrical limited-edition fragrance of 'The Batman' by House of Sillage, where endless adventure and thrill come to life," the product's official page describes. The collection also contains a "Batman"-designed bow-tie-shaped lipstick case and a limited edition "The Batman" candle. The entire collection retails for $656, or roughly half a month's rent in most parts of the United States.

In all sincerity, the bottles are stunning, with "Hero" covered in over 100 hand-placed, diamond-cut Swarovski crystals. It's a massive improvement compared to the "Star Wars" cologne with a lightsaber-inspired bottle that just looks like a terrifying sex toy. Unfortunately, I can't smell a fragrance through a computer screen, so I can only assess the aesthetics of the bottles. For what it's worth, my favorite celebrity fragrance of all time is "23" by Michael Jordan, and since that retails for like $15 online, I can only assume based on the price that "Hero" and "Vengeance" smell at least 20x better.

Okay, but what do they smell like?

According to the House of Sillage Website, the "Hero" fragrance features top notes of candied apple, pear leaves, and magnolia, heart notes of smoky rose, violet, and leather accord, and base notes of sandalwood, musk, patchouli, moss, and warm vanilla. I'm sad about being very poor all the time, but especially so in realizing I'm never going to get to smell like a "Hero." The combination of musk with fruit and floral sounds heavenly, and the addition of leather has me trying to smell through the screen.

The "Vengeance" cologne is a bit more masculine with bergamot, cardamom, and tonka bean top notes, Egyptian Jasmin absolute, cashmeran, and Haitian vetiver heart notes, and amber, patchouli, and oakmoss base notes. The addition of cashmeran is a surprisingly woody pop for a scent inspired by a city, but I'm all for it. The company says the scent was created "to capture the crisp Oud olfactory sensorial experience of the Batman's vendetta for Gotham's justice." 

Sounds luxurious and weirdly erotic. I'm in.

The officially licensed luxury fragrances are a limited-release collection from House of Sillage, so if you're looking to smell like the Dark Knight, you'd better act fast.