The Silence of the Lambs

Now Streaming on Amazon Prime Video 

Chris: “People will say we’re in love.” So says Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) during one of the several visits paid to him by FBI trainee Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster). Beneath all its ghoulish gore and nightmare imagery, The Silence of the Lambs is a love story – a beauty and the beast tale, in which a young woman and a horrible monster become intertwined. Jonathan Demme’s adaptation of Thomas Harris’s pulpy novel remains as fantastic now as ever – one of those rare “perfect movies” that fires on all cylinders, and never makes a misstep. And at the center of it all is that magnetic relationship between Hannibal and Clarice. How romantic (sort of). 

Matt: Liver might not appease everyone’s palate, but fava beans and a nice chianti are a romantic touch I guess? 

May

Now Streaming on Vudu

Chris: May is a portrait of loneliness. Poor, awkward May Dove Canady (Angela Bettis) has virtually no friends, and certainly no love interest. That changes when May meets Adam (Jeremy Sisto), a handsome dude with very nice hands. Hands so nice that May become fixated on them. But Adam’s hands aren’t the only things May develops a fetish for over the course of the film, and little by little, director Lucky McKee builds something unique and disturbing. McKee has made films since this, but none of them live up to the brilliance here. 

Matt: I know, I know. I need to watch May. Stop rubbing it in.

Audition

Now Streaming on Shudder

Chris: Audition is the ultimate romantic movie…if you turn it off at a certain point. Takashi Miike’s brutal horror flick follows a widower (Ryo Ishibashi) who begins literally auditioning young women to be his new wife. He thinks he’s found her in Asami (Eihi Shiina), who seems too good to be true. But the more the two date, the more it becomes clear that Asami has some dark, dark secrets. If you’ve somehow managed to avoid seeing Audition after all these years, go into this as blind as possible.Trust me. 

Matt: Chris I’m worried about your wife.

Lizzie

Now Streaming on Shudder

Chris: Lizzie might be a bit too slow for some, but I was hypnotized by this strange, bloody romance. Chloë Sevigny is Lizzie Borden – of “took an ax” nursery rhyme fame – and Kristen Stewart is the Borden family maid Bridgett Sullivan. The two enter into an awkward but tender romance against the backdrop of the oppressive, abusive Borden home. Of course, anyone who knows history knows where this story is going. And Lizzie does eventually get there, in truly gorey fashion. Sevigny and Stewart are perfectly matched here, and Stewart in particular brings an raw humanity to her part. 

Matt: I…was not impressed by Lizzie. Chloë Sevigny and Kristen Stewart share some tremendous chemistry in select scenes, but the entire production is otherwise lifeless and dreadfully stuffy.

Tremors

Now Streaming on Netflix

Chris: I mean, obviously, you can’t have a Valentine’s Day-themed horror list without Tremors! It’s such a sexy, romantic movie, perfect to watch with the one you love! Okay, look, I’ll be honest. Tremors isn’t really romantic, I just thought it would be very funny to include it on this list. Also: Tremors rules. Kevin Bacon! Fred Ward! Graboids! You can’t go wrong. So turn on Tremors, cuddle-up with your significant other, and celebrate Valentine’s Day as the good lord intended. 

Matt: You know what? Love in a time of Graboids. I dig it. Hell yeah Tremors is a Valentine’s Day movie (if you’re cool enough).

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