new rocky

Sylvester Stallone, iconic action star of the 1980s, continues to mine his past characters for all they’re worth. During a career retrospective at the seemingly-never-ending Cannes Film Festival, Stallone explained what audiences can expect from Rambo V: Last Blood, his idea for a new Rocky movie (wait, what?), and how he wants to reboot his 1986 action film Cobra into a television show.

Rambo 5 black hat

Rambo V: Last Blood

While the fifth Rambo sadly won’t be about genetically engineered half-humans (as originally envisioned), Stallone painted the picture of what it will be about (via Deadline):

“In every film, Rambo never goes home, he goes out the to the jungle or Afghanistan. In the new one, he does come home, but in a way he never arrives. He’s there, but he’s not. That’s what the whole story is built around. As soon as he walks outside his door, he has no more control. The world controls you.

We pick it up, he’s out in this storm, a horrible storm. He’s trying to rescue people. There’s a flash flood. One guy goes up by horseback, he volunteers to save people. He’s still dealing with survivor guilt, b/c he could [sic] save his friends in Vietnam. A result of PTSD. He has a hard time. He has a beautiful ranch, but he lives underground. This is how he deals with his dilemma. There’s something subterranean in Vietnam. He has an adopted family there. His father has passed on. The housekeeper who is 70 has a granddaughter. He’s her surrogate father.”

Once the granddaughter heads to Mexico to try to find her real father, “bad things happen. There’s going to be some serious vengeance in this movie. A lot of people getting hurt.” I’m not sure if I’m on board with this movie’s ideology, but obviously I’ll withhold judgment until I see it for myself. Rambo V: Last Blood hits theaters on September 20, 2019.

Sylvester Stallone superhero

Wait, a New Rocky?

When Creed II came out, Stallone announced that he was done playing his iconic boxer character Rocky Balboa. But now the actor seems to be experiencing a change of heart:

“I have a great idea for Rocky. He finds this fella in the country illegally and it becomes a whole thing…It’s like the magician who lost his tricks. You’ve seen everything, but what can be different? Throw him out of the country, he’s in another world.”

Your guess is as good as mine as to what the hell Stallone means by that (does Rocky return to the immigrant’s home country with his new friend?), but I think we can all agree that Rocky Balboa coming back at all is a bad idea, right? Especially outside of the Creed movies. That character has already made two unlikely comebacks (three, if you count Creed II!), so I really don’t think Stallone should risk Rocky’s legacy any further.

Cobra Stallone

The Return of Marion Cobretti?

If you’ve never seen the 1986 movie Cobra, it is totally bonkers.

When asked at Cannes to reflect on that movie, Stallone revealed that he has additional plans for that particular property:

“That (conceit) was what if Bruce Springsteen had a gun? That was rock n’ roll meets drama. That should have been another franchise because that character was so cool. And I blew it. My personal life got in the way. But we’re trying to bring it back as a streaming TV series. Bring out the zombie squad. I’m long gone, but the idea is really good.”

The “zombie squad” is referencing the LAPD’s fictional elite division of enforcers, of which Stallone’s character Marion “Cobra” Cobretti is a member. I’m glad to hear that at least Stallone has the self-awareness to know that he shouldn’t be reprising this role, too, but I’m not entirely sure that a gritty renegade cop story about a guy who battles a cult of rapists is the best decision for the current climate. Maybe it could work if it’s tongue in cheek? But Stallone took Cobra deadly seriously in the ’80s – the film was born out of him getting the lead role in Beverly Hills Cop and then rewriting the script to take all of the jokes out. All I’ll say is: best of luck to whoever tries to get a TV version off the ground.

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