I Want to Play a Game: All 81 ‘Saw’ Kills Ranked

10. Joyce Dagen: The Brazen Bull (Saw 3D)

Bobby’s trial is to save his wife, but the hooks through his skin rip and send him hurdling downward in failure. Time ultimately runs out, and Joyce finds herself in this iron cistern that envelops her. Bobby can only watch from behind electric fencing as the cannister is heated from the outside and Joyce is cooked thoroughly. Her hair singing, flesh melting and body grilling in the immense heat.

9. Troy: Chained and Blown (Saw III)

Is Jigsaw taking cues from Hellraiser? Troy looks like he’s being tortured by a Cenobite the way he’s pierced with metal hooks and hanging chains. To make matters worse: that’s not even what kills Troy. Almost all the rings are ripped clean, but not before a homemade nail bomb blows poor Troy to smithereens. Blackened limbs and intestines are tossed like Halloween decorations.

8. Eddie: A Pound of Flesh (Saw VI)

Eddie and Simone wake up on opposite sides of a divided room – a weight scale in between. Their test? Whoever can slice the heavier mound of human meat from their body won’t be screwed in the head (oh, right – they’re wearing headpieces that will automatically pierce their temple). Eddie starts by carving out steaks from his blubbery belly, while the fit Simone is given no such handicap. As Eddie feeds his last offering to the chute, Simone drops HALF HER ARM in and tips the scale in her favor.

7. Ivan Landsness: Hotel Dismemberment (Saw IV)

In the Alexander Motel, Lt. Rigg plays the part of Jigsaw. Ivan, his target, a habitual woman abuser with a photograph collection to prove it. Rigg instructs Ivan to shackle himself to four bedpost chains. He will be pulled apart in 60 seconds unless he stabs his own eyes out (via Jigsaw’s handy-dandy trap). Ivan presses the first button. One down. Can he sacrifice the second? Nah. Each one of his limbs is ripped by a pulley and thrown across room. Jigsaw better be tipping those maids!

6. Detective Allison Kerry: The Angel (Saw III)

Unfortunately for Det. Kerry, Jigsaw was never going to let her survive. “The Angel” contraption is inescapable, even after melting away one hand’s flesh and muscle when grabbing an acid-bathing key. She endures, bests the fizzy trap, but her “salvation” is but a ruse. “Jigsaw” watches as her ribcage is ripped clean away, Kerry enduring her fate in a very on-the-cross position.

5. Dina: Bros Before… (Saw 3D)

Jigsaw makes use of a treacherous love triangle to start off Saw 3D, and I kind of dig it? Dina is hung above a gigantic circular saw with her boyfriends Brad and Ryan strapped to either end. One must die for the other two to live, their dirty laundry being shredded in a hardware store display front. Ryan and Brad pushing back and forth, Dina screaming for one to man-up – but Ryan sees things differently. After slicing into Brad for but a flesh wound, he sacrifices Dina. Down she comes, spilling intestine chunks and blood over the now-single boys.

4. Eric Matthews: The Ice Crusher (Saw IV)

So this is Jigsaw showing off, right? Matthews dangles from a chain noose around his neck, but with an ice block just within standing reach. As the ice melts (heater acceleration), water pools that will eventually electrocute Hoffman. Oh, and two massive ice chunks are lifted overhead, ready to slam down on Matthews’ noggin – WHICH THEY DO. Stupid Rigg. All he had to do was NOT enter a room, and instead everyone gets to sample Eric Matthew’s Sno-Cones.

3. Jill Tuck: Reverse Bear Trap (Saw 3D)

Hoffman finally gets to Jill in the police station. First he slams her head against a desk, ties her up, and then he’s gifted his pick of confiscated Jigsaw traps in the evidence room. He goes Reverse Bear Trap (which Amanda survived), but Jill is given no such option. Hoffman leaves just after her jaw is ripped open wider than a banshee; just a red, bloody opening into her esophagus. Gruesome.

2. Agent Peter Strahm: Walls Closing In (Saw V)

This is the second Saw franchise death that stops my heart every time. Strahm – thinking he’s won – throws Hoffman in a glass coffin. “I got you!” Then the walls start closing in. Hoffman smiles. The coffin retracts. Agent Strahm scales the walls as they creek together, one hand grasping a top caged portion. Safe passage? No way. First a femur snaps clear into focus, then his body is pancaked, left hanging when Hoffman comes in. Like some roadkill leftovers. Check, please.

1. Timothy Young: The Rack (Saw III)

The rack is one of Jigsaw’s no-fail ruiners of my night. We watch as Timothy’s hands, feet and head are twisted like elastic even though the human body snaps apart after so much pressure. Timothy’s screams can’t even muffle the bone crunches and metal clanking that elasticize his skin like Stretch Armstrong – well, whatever flesh hasn’t been torn to expose shards of white bone. Appendages twist in ways they shouldn’t, until finally, old Timmy’s head is fully swiveled. This is why you don’t try the Exorcist head-turn in real life!

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