Here's Where You Can Rent Every 'Die Hard' Movie

(Welcome to Where to Watch, which provides a clear and simple answer to the question, "Hey, where can I watch this thing?" In this edition: the Die Hard franchise.)

Before Bruce Willis became the king of making direct-to-video movies filmed in Eastern Europe, he was that guy from Moonlighting who ended up getting cast as John McClane in the first Die Hard and subsequently helped redefine what an action star could be. Come out to the coast, have a few laughs, and read on to discover where you can rent every Die Hard movie.

Where to rent: Amazon, Apple, DirecTV, Google Play, Microsoft, Redbox, Vudu, YouTubeJohn McTiernan's 1988 classic is, quite simply, one of the greatest action movies of all time. It's an absolute masterclass in set-ups and pay-offs, the character work is exquisite across the board (RIP Alan Rickman), and there is such care put into the details of the film that you can find something new every time you watch it.

Where to rent: Amazon, Apple, Google Play, Microsoft, Redbox, Vudu, YouTube

It strains credulity that workaday cop John McClane would get caught up in two major terrorist incidents in one lifetime, but little did we know how ridiculous this franchise would become in its later years. With the entire scope of the franchise in mind, the airport-bound Die Hard 2 seems somewhat quaint. It doesn't hold a candle to the original, but then again, very few films can.

Where to rent: Amazon, Apple, DirecTV, Google Play, Microsoft, Redbox, Vudu, YouTube

Originally written as a spec script that had nothing to do with these characters, Die Hard with a Vengeance expands the scope of the action to the entirety of New York City, and is largely successful due to the chemistry between Willis and co-star Samuel L. Jackson. McTiernan takes the baton back from Renny Harlin, and the story features Hans Gruber's brother (played by Jeremy Irons) leading McClane all over the city as a distraction while he tries to rob the Federal Reserve. It's good!

Where to rent: Amazon, Apple, DirecTV, Google Play, Microsoft, Redbox, Vudu, YouTube

The only PG-13 entry in the franchise, this movie feels plastic and neutered in a way that none of the other entries do. This is the point where John McClane transitions into a full-blown superhero, jumping on top of flying jets and ramping cars into helicopters. Justin Long isn't bad as McClane's temporary sidekick, and a young Timothy Olyphant plays the villain, who is pretty obnoxious – and not in a fun way. At one point, the protagonists visit a tech dork played by Kevin Smith. It's not good!

Where to rent: Nowhere, because the movie doesn't actually exist. (Although I've heard if you search for it on the same platforms listed above, you'll find something claiming to be this movie.)

In 2013, Bruce Willis joined 20th Century Fox and actor Jai Courtney in perpetuating an elaborate prank on the entire industry by claiming that a fifth Die Hard movie was going to come out that year. They released some posed photos pretending they were on a film set, and they even went as far as to have a premiere. But from what I heard, everyone in attendance sat in silence for two hours and stared at a blank screen. It might be one of the most impressive cases of mass delusion in American history, because occasionally I'll come into contact with someone who will try to convince me that this is a real movie. They'll say things like, "Yeah, Bruce Willis complains about being caught in Russian traffic for a lot of it," and I'll laugh and laugh because then I know for sure that they're just pulling my leg.