'Snake Eyes' International Trailer Suggests The G.I. Joes Have Been Around For 600 Years

Did you know the G.I. Joe team has been around for six centuries? That's what this new Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins international trailer seems to be suggesting, at least. In all likelihood, this is probably a case of two different lines of dialogue being cut together for the sake of exposition. But when you take it as-is, it sure sounds like Andrew Koji's Storm Shadow is saying the Joes have been active and working for 600 years.

That questionable line of dialogue is just one part of this international trailer, which features tons of new footage for the upcoming film.

I sure wish Hollywood would give up on trying to turn G.I. Joe into a big movie franchise. But that's apparently unreasonable on my part, because here comes Snake Eyes. The action flick hopes to reboot all-things-Joe by starting from scratch and revealing the origin story of Snake Eyes, the traditionally silent ninja assassin.

Since this counts as something of a prequel, Snake Eyes gets to talk in this movie and spends the majority of the time not wearing a mask. And that makes sense, since Henry Golding plays the title character – and you don't cast a good-looking, talented actor like that just to make him mute and hidden behind a mask. This international trailer features a heaping amount of new footage compared to the recently-released domestic trailer. It also features a line of dialogue that made me stop and rewind to make sure I heard it right.

"For 600 years, our clan has brought peace to Japan," says Andrew Koji's Storm Shadow. "Along with our allies, the Joes."

Is Storm Shadow suggesting G.I. Joe is some sort of ancient organization that's been around for six centuries? I sure hope so, because that's the type of goofball nonsense a movie like this should embrace. Hell, make the G.I. Joe organization even older. Make them around during the time of Christ. Give me a scene where a G.I. Joe character tries to save Jesus during the execution, and then another scene that reveals the Romans were secretly members of Cobra. Does all of that sound stupid to you? That's okay – G.I. Joe is inherently stupid to begin with. Lean into it, I say!

Anyway, Snake Eyes hits theaters on July 23, 2021.