'Preacher' Review: A Blasphemous 'Dirty Little Secret' Is Exposed

(Each week, we're going to kick off discussion of Preacher season 2 by examining the differences between the original comics and AMC's television adaptation.)

Fans of the Preacher comic knew that the real purpose of The Grail would one day be revealed, and that day is today. Herr Starr's white-suited organization guards the most important person in the world from harm, for only He can lead us and guide us when it becomes time for the end of the world.

That man is Jesus Christ's 25th great-grandson: Humperdoo.

The First Coming

But let's get this out of the way first: what other show but Preacher would dare show Jesus losing his virginity? This episode starts a cold open that shows him having sex many, many times over the course of one night after the Last Supper, although it doesn't reveal his identity until afterwards. Via some shadows on the wall, we see him trying many positions and doing quite well for his first try, while Lee Fields' "Special Night" plays in the background.

As Jesus leaves his lover's bed, he mentions to her that he has to do something for his dad, playing it very much like a surfer dude who's bummed out about having to get a job. It's hilarious.

"You can never, ever tell anyone about this," Jesus says as gets dressed to leave. "Cool?"

Oh, the glorious blasphemy.

But one of Jesus' disciples realizes what's happened, and he's there to take care of the baby nine months later...and to kill the woman to ensure her silence. This is the start of The Grail, an organization dedicated to keeping Jesus' bloodline intact for that special moment when the end of the world comes, as they'll have a savior ready to go.

Our Shining Starr

Jesse learns of all of this after his meeting with Herr Starr in the bar. Starr is there with binders full of information about The Grail, but Jesse ain't much for readin'. He smashes Starr in the face with one of them and starts to use the Word on him to find out what he needs to know.

He goes to The Grail and meets the Pope and Archbishop of Canterbury and although you can see he's startled to find himself in their presence, he plays it tres cool. Since he's always been a little dim, he doesn't realize he's being played when one of them drops mention of "the boy". Jesse uses the Word to force Starr to tell him about it and take him to said boy, finding Jesus' progeny.


Love at First Bite

Meanwhile, Cassidy is catching up on 80 years of Denis' life, but his son is not doing so well. The vampire duo are having fun with a couple ladies of the night, but things turn ugly quick after Denis tries to bite one of them. There's a reason why Cassidy didn't want to turn anyone. He tells Denis (thanks to a handy translator gadget that magically appears just when it's needed) that he can't act on his new impulses, but apparently not every vampire finds it as easy as Cassidy does.

Denis is absolutely going to be an issue in the episodes to come, and it looks like Cassidy might have to make a very tough decision. In the comics, he was forced to put down a vampire that was killing people by pinning him down outside for the sun to take him, but that was just a stranger. Having to do the same for his son would be a whole new level of dark for the show.

preacher dirty little secret

Faded Tulip 

Tulip desperately needs to go to a therapist to work out some stuff. The poor character has been spinning her wheels for multiple episodes now, still not sure how to cope with her daily nightmares dealing with the Saint. She has no one to talk to now that Jesse is gone on his road trip with The Grail and Cassidy is in dad mode.

So it's a perfect moment for Featherstone to move in on her moment of weakness. One afternoon, she comes over to ask Tulip for her gun back, still playing the clueless neighbor, and gets Tulip to spill all while she makes her a meal. Later on, while they're playing some Rock Band knock-off (performing All-American Rejects' :D irty Little Secret" because this show is anything but subtle) Featherstone makes her big mistake and mentions Tulip's issues in Dallas, something Tulip never told her about. Tulip is immediately back in sociopathic mode and demands to know how she knew about that, but Featherstone cleverly has Hoover show up at her door playing a drunken ex-boyfriend.

That gives the ladies a chance to bond as Tulip smashes her guitar over his head before Featherstone kicks him and snaps a rib. Poor Hoover.

Before leaving, Featherstone points out that the bathroom tiles are loose and Tulip goes back to it to fix them up. That's where Jesse hid The Saint's guns and sabre, and now she knows Jesse was lying to her. She places them on the table and just waits for him to come home, and you just know next episode is going to have one helluva fight between the two.

[Major comic spoilers ahead]

The interesting question is whether or not they will split them up. In the comic, Jesse is presumed dead at one point and Cassidy and Tulip shack up in a very horrible, terrible, drug-infused relationship. It shatters friendships and Jesse and Cassidy never fully recover what they once had. We know that Cassidy still harbors lots of feelings for Tulip, so we'll see if the show heads in that direction as well.


One Flesh, One Bone, One True Religion

If there's one perfect joke in this episode, it's Jesse meeting the final bloodline. It's similar to the comic, where Jesus's progeny are revealed to live in a cage, throwing shit at anyone who comes near. Here, Jesse is overcome with emotion after being met with the shadowy heir to the bloodline, and he gets on his knees and starts espousing how great it is to meet him...before Humperdoo pisses on his face and starts rubbing up on Starr.

Yes, the 25th grandson of Jesus Christ is named Humperdoo for a reason. You see, inbreeding is bad. We don't need to get into the specifics, but the kid ain't all there and his mind is so addled that even The Word doesn't work on him.

Jesse is understandably upset to find out that the organization who should know something about where God is has no idea and have no plans to find him, either. But Starr reveals that he does have a plan – and it's just what we spoke about weeks ago: for Jesse to become the Messiah. Jesse is absolutely disgusted at the idea, but perhaps he's soon realize that all of his clues to God's location have dried up and that he really does need The Grail.