'Geostorm' Trailer: It's Gerard Butler Versus A Weather-Controlling Satellite

I'll just be honest with you – the elevator pitch for Geostorm will either make you cackle like an idiot and guarantee a ticket sale later this year or make you roll your eyes and completely ignore it. I'll just leave it right here: "As a man heads into space to prevent climate-controlling satellites from creating a storm of epic proportions, his brother discovers a plot to assassinate the president." What. What? What!

And now, the first Geostorm trailer, starring modern B-movie king Gerard Butler and presumably written using a Mad Libs book, has arrived. Plan accordingly.

I'm not going to lie to you fine people: I am going to watch Geostorm and I am going to watch the hell out of it. I will probably ingest a great deal of tequila while I do so.

I came to this realization early in the trailer, when the futuristic, weather-manipulating satellite unleashes hell upon the world's major landmarks while a grim-dark cover of "What a Wonderful World" droned on the soundtrack. As the sole member of the Independence Day: Resurgence fan club and a big fan of really stupid stuff that takes itself way too seriously, Geostorm appears to check off a number of appropriate boxes. It even features Gerard Butler, the king of Expensive Movies That Should Have Been Low-Budget Movies And Also Probably Should've Gone Straight To Video Hey Remember 300 He Was Pretty Good In That.

If you think Geostorm looks like a third-rate Roland Emmerich riff, you wouldn't be far from the truth. This is the big screen directorial debut of Dean Devlin, Emmerich's frequent writer and producer whose credits include both Independence Day movies, Stargate, and Godzilla. And to be perfectly honest, it sounds like he had a rough time behind the camera, as Warner Bros. ordered $15 million worth of reshoots last year, a process that involved recasting certain characters and extensive rewrites. Oh, and Devlin was replaced by Danny Cannon. And mega-producer Jerry Bruckheimer came on board to oversee things. Rewrites are not always a sign of certain disaster, but yeeesh.

In addition to Butler, the Georstorm cast also includes Ed Harris, Andy Garcia, Abbie Cornish, and Jim Sturgess, all of whom are probably very happy with house extensions their paychecks bought. The film is set to open on October 20, 2017 and I'm going to be the first person in line to watch this damn thing.