David Gordon Green To Remake Dario Argento's Suspiria

Okay, now I'll admit it: Juno should have never been made! Fresh from getting mainstreamed in Diablo Cody's lil' indie that did, news arrives today that indie director David Gordon Green (George Washington, Pineapple Express) is set on remaking Dario Argento's Italo-horror classic Suspiria. Greene has been loosely attached for a few months but he recently chatted up a couple outlets about his (re-en)vision, referring to his new take as "classy shiiat"...

"Supriria is a classic to me. I want to be scared. I want to be afraid," he said to MTV. ..."It's an opportunity to take all artistic excellence and be inspired by what was a low budget Italian 70's gore movie. Where the art world meets the violent and supernatural. I would love to get every geek that loves torture porn and every old lady in line to see 'Phantom of the Opera' to come and have this insane experience."

With its enchanting candy colors and surreal lighting, Argento's 1977 original, widely cited as his best work, rivals Jean-Luc Godard's Pierrot Le Fou for sheer trippy cinematic bliss. The plot dips into nightmare-logic as it follows an American gal who enrolled in an elite European dance school only to find that it's a cover for a twisted witch coven. Inventive visual horror is nearly outmatched by the ethereally harrowing soundtrack by the band Goblin. While it's not exactly a perfect film, it's beyond a cult film, and to crib from Dennis Hopper's description of Thailand, Suspiria "just is, man. It just is." Green doesn't specify why his version would be more "ambitious" or "amazing"...

"These Italian producers came to me about it, wanting to do a pretty amazing, ambitious, artistic (version)," Greene told STYD. "It could be pretty wild."

Earlier this week we reported that Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes is remaking Roman Polanski's Rosemary's Baby. There's no shame over there, and there's not much any moviegoer can do about it, but when our young phenom directors are getting in on the remake trend instead of crafting their own original horror films...for Platinum Dunes to remake in 10 years...it should ring an alarm. Green's a cool dude. Let's hope he reconsiders remaking this one and chooses to continue his own trail blazing.

Discuss: Can you think of a good reason why Suspiria should be remade?