Follow me as we once again ride the slippery mud (shit?) slide that is Hollywood’s modern remake obsession. Blowing a loud horn all across Movieland today, STYD reports that Michael Bay’s production company, Platinum Dunes, is on the hunt for writers to pen a remake of Rosemary’s Baby, the 1968 classic horror film directed by Roman Polanski.
Platinum Dunes is already on many a horror fan’s hit-list for their upcoming remake of Friday the 13th (which I’m cool with) and their scheduled remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street (which I’m not cool with). But Rosemary’s Baby remains one of the most respected and classy horror films ever made, on par with Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining and Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho; a remake treatment characteristic of PD, which means high gloss T&A&S&M, is mighty hard to swallow.
The original film tells the tale of a New York married couple (Mia Farrow and John Cassavetes) that moves into an equally stunning and freaky building and befriends an odd elderly couple. The wife, Rosemary, become pregnant, and is stricken with a heavy dose of Polanski’s signature swirling paranoia. The baby, you see, is no less than the spawn of Satan, and everyone is in on it.
The Dunes’ producing team of Bradley Fuller and Andrew Form is seeing this one through the womb of hell over at Paramount. And yes, they’re also delivering the remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds. Do you think Platinum Dunes has a flashy delivery room filled with vacant cribs labeled The Exorcist, The Burning, The Thing et al.?
Discuss: Should Michael Bay play the devil, or should Satan himself make a cameo to celebrate a new creative low in Hollywood? Is there a horror film you think is perfect for P. Dunes to remake?
More Discuss: Out of curiousity, are you guys and gals tired of “remake backlash?” Not to sound like a late night infomercial, but do you find it harder and harder to give a damn, since smash-and-grab remakes of classic films are nearly inevitable these days?
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
WTF MOAR LIEK FAILSMARY’S FAIL
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:03 pm
can’t they come up with anything original?
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:09 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3yc0xZaxB0
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:25 pm
And yoy say that michael bay isn’t a hack?
He and his production company are full of hacks.
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:39 pm
shoulda seen the sign when they did that embarrasing psycho remake a few years back. some films should just be left alone, and this is certainly one of em. if they wanna introduce a new generation to a classic, do what the excorcist did about 10 years back with the rerelease and remastering stuff. i went and saw it, and there is a scene when a phone rings that literally made me jump outta my chair.
i wonder why there isnt anyone sitting in these meetings who has the balls to say, “wait a second gang, this whole remake thing is getting outta control, and we’re becoming a laughing stock. we shouldnt fuck with the classics.”
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
hmm Astronauts Wife was a pseudo remake recently so what void exactly are they trying to fill?
rhetorical question… wallets.
p dunes should just butcher his own films. Just because he dose’nt have any good ideas dosent mean he should set out to ruin successful old ones.
ugh that Omen remake was utter, utter, shit.
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:04 pm
NO MORE REMAKES!!!!
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
What?? You have to be kidding me! As if I needed
another reason to LOATHE Bay’s production company.
Somebody please, please for the love all that is good
and holy stop them!
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Why remake good movies when there are plenty of shitty ones to remake? They could touch the following horror films and I would be not-at-all offended:
1). Sleepaway Camp
2). Child’s Play 3
3). Swamp Thing
March 3rd, 2008 at 8:00 pm
@ cinemaniac1979
Apparently, they’re already working on a remake of Child’s Play
http://imdb.com/title/tt1134807/
March 3rd, 2008 at 8:07 pm
wtf? rosemary’s baby doesn’t need to be remade. I watched it just the other day and it is by far better than anything Micheal Bay has ever done.
March 3rd, 2008 at 8:29 pm
A good director should start remaking Michael Bay’s shitty movies and make a better job of them than he did.
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Is Jessica alba going to play the lead?
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I am not responding to your discussion points, but want to tell whoever is leading this thing, they need to remember that the original began as a Doris Day/Rock Hudson chick flick. I guess tho that that means it will be two sorority girls frenching while their boyfriends hoot and videotape it and the whole thing plays like Cloverfield.
Too bad it’s a fallen world.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Actually, I look forward to the remake, maybe our new technology will make for a better look on an already-classic.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:05 am
Would it really be much of a stretch for Bay to play the devil?
I truly hate this man…
Keep up the top notch work Mikey B. …I hear they’re making a 4th Indiana Jones movie…heres an idea…why don’t you guys make a remake of that before it even gets released…throw them all for a loop you fucking morons.
Obviously that wasn;t just directed at M.B. but at hollywood in general. (See what I did there Bay…I admitted when I directed something in the wrong direction and it became a shitfest of a disaster *cough* Pearl Harbor *cough*)
March 4th, 2008 at 1:42 am
No, I don’t find it harder to give a damn. The fact that this film has is in the works for a remake is absolutely enraging. I can only hope that someone with some sway steps up and prevents this from happening. This is an absolute atrocity. Worse than “Cache”, worse than “The Lives of Others”, worse than “Riffifi”, worse than “The Wild Bunch” that almost was, may still be. Words cannot describe the rage I feel everytime I hear about the next classic or great foreign release slated for an American remake. Haneke, shame on you, even if “Funny Games” is your own movie. Why can’t studios simply distribute films stateside a la “Tarantino Presents” and then just rip-off little bits here and there a la Tarantino?
March 4th, 2008 at 8:03 am
I personally have a (growing) problem with the term, “backlash” as it is increasingly being used to discount legitmate criticism. These Platinum Dunes folks sound like soulless cocksuckers to me. So long as mindless dipshits flock to the trough to suck down whatever garbage is put in front of them I suspect the trend will continue. I blame audiences as much if not more than these opportunistic douchebags. At the same time it is tough to say if the ratio has really shifted much. In most “art forms” be it music, movies, books, etc. there is usually about 10% that are worthwhile and 90% that are pure crap.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:08 am
@ Robert
You bring up a good point, as you never hear about remakes of classic albums and books, though plays are often revamped.
Why are movies the exception? The obvious answer is that they age the worst. But in the case of Rosemary’s Baby, which still feels fresh to this day and has only spawned one direct-to-TV sequel (kinda shocking), this isn’t the case. The movie industry simply has lower standards. Obviously, the rights to this film (and the original novel) are much easier to snap up than, say, The White Album. But can you imagine someone remaking a Beatles album, and I don’t mean a novelty cover album? It’s nearly impossible to envision.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
It’s the colorization impulse gone wild. And the unending quest for a quick buck. I just lament the resources that could be put to use making new original films. For the cost of one of these remakes I bet you could make 5 perfectly decent “new” movies. Honestly, I think this is what bothers me the most. I am just on the “creative” side on this and most issues and just don’t understand how anyone could gain satisfaction working on a ramake. Unless your only goal is to make a marketable product. I suppose there is room for both.
Of course there was DJ Dangermouse Black/White mashup The Gray album which would have been much better if Jay-Z wasn’t such a shitty rapper.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
why remake this movie? it has a ‘twist’ ending that everyone knows already… we all know how this movie ends…
this is almost as dumb of an idea as remaking ‘planet of the apes’.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
@ Robert
Yeah, I totally see your point. You have to wonder if a film like Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket could ever get remade. I think there is a line in the sand, more like an industry coda, that protects Kubrick’s filmography (The Shining for TV doesn’t count, as Stephen King made it), and to a certain extent Spielberg’s films.
Right, The Gray Album was more of a reinvention than a remake of The White Album. I took that into account. If someone wants to ’sample’ Rosemary’s Baby and toss it on its head, I don’t have a problem with that at all. But with their straight-up remake, Platinum Dunes sort of declares that nothing is sacred. Kubrick’s films can’t be far off. And in the end, nobody wins because of it.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I like Ian’s idea. Jerry’s got a good point up there as well.
It must be lucrative or they wouldn’t keep doing it. And we do live in a post-shame era.
Trying to think of which Kubrick would be the biggest crime to remake. I’m leaning towards Dr. Strangelove. I’d like to have Tom Cruise digitally replaced in Eyes Wide Shut. Nicole, however, stays in the picture. God I can’t watch it just because of him!
It may just be a matter of time before they come for Stanley and Steven’s ouvre. Gotta get paid!
March 4th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Hey another remake of a great classic…Surprise surprise. I’m positive they will ruin this movie too.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Michael Bay is a cocksucker. Can somebody please drag him out of his office and shoot him inthe head?
March 6th, 2008 at 2:50 am
Yes, I am sick of “remake backlash”. Remakes have existed long before movies have, in the form of theater and literature. Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet is a “remake” for example.
March 12th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
ummmm rosemarys baby remake ????? well it will either be really good or really bad ….. very good chances of it being really bad with all the crapy remakes coming out lately why dont they take a B movie and make it a blockbuster ? why ruin a classic , like rob zombie did to halloween ? whats next ? jaws remake ? hellraiser remake ? freddy and jason remakes lol
May 28th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Let me guess.
They want to “tighten the pace”, make the deaths bloody, improve the devil make-up, udate it, and show the baby at the end.
Oh, only one problem…
Everyone already knows it’s Satan’s child and that witchcraft exists.
They didn’t back in 1968.
But, they could probably make this movie for about $10 million and make about $30 million.
And that’s about all it will make, Michael.
Oh, and then there are all those curses and tragedies the makers experienced after making the original.
But I really liked “Texas Chainsaw-The Beginning”. The best since the original.
Good luck.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:18 am
no no no no NO!!!!!Just stop with the classic remake’s!these director’s spent time and energy bringing you some of the best horror films ever made.Rosemary’s baby is just a prime exsample of how a film should be made!!!The ride of paranoia you take with mia farrow is the reason the film work’s so well and why im happy for new directors to give the odd nod to these classics i actually despise the fact they cant bring anything original to the table!!!You will never find another actress that can fill that roll!and dont even get me started on the birds remark!!!!!!!!!!!!