Billy Crystal Was Cut From Saturday Night Live's First Episode, And It Didn't Go Over Well
We're approaching five decades of the NBC sketch comedy show "Saturday Night Live." The not-ready-for-primetime players actually were ready, with dozens of them going on to have huge TV and film careers. Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner, Richard Pryor, Lily Tomlin, Adam Sandler, Martin Short, Will Ferrell, Eddie Murphy, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon ... the list goes on and on and on. I mean, it's almost been fifty years of brilliant talent, even though not every season was perfect.
SNL is, of course, live, meaning that even though there are rehearsals, it can change at the last moment, with sketches, and even actors, being cut. The very first episode of the very first show on October 11, 1975, cut an actor who went on to heights of fame. That actor was Billy Crystal ("When Harry Met Sally," "City Slickers"). You may know that he hosted for the first time in 1976 and was a cast member from 1984-1985. Even if you haven't seen his episodes, someone has likely quoted a line from some of his skits like, "You look mah-velous" from "Fernando's Hideaway."
Crystal had a skit that he was working on for that first episode, and getting it cut ... it didn't go very well at all, according to those involved in the 2015 book "Live from New York: the complete, uncensored history of Saturday Night Live as told by its stars, writers, and guests" by James A. Miller.
Rehearsal for nothing
Crystal was already a successful stand-up comedian by the time creator Lorne Michaels found him. Crystal said in the book that Michaels approached him after seeing his work in the Catch a Rising Star comedy club. "He asked me if I was interested in being a resident in the company. He felt I would do six appearances on the show, and then he saw me becoming a host of the show, among all the other hosts, in two years. They'd be grooming me to be one of the main guys." At the time, there were rotating hosts, including George Carlin, who was tapped for the first episode.
Crystal's manager Buddy Morra said that the actor had to turn down a Bill Cosby special to do SNL. Back then, that was a huge deal. He rehearsed daily and had a "special piece" ready for the first episode. However, this wasn't a skit that could be cut down, and it took six-and-a-half minutes to perform. Each day of rehearsal, Morra said, Crystal would show up, wait around for eight or nine hours, and then go home without doing anything.
Crystal was still set on doing the sketch, though, and performed it during the Friday night dress rehearsal in front of NBC executives and a live audience.
Don Pardo on the potato chip sound effects
Crystal revealed it was an "audience participation piece, and it utilized [announcer] Don Pardo." He explained the sketch this way:
" ... it was this African safari thing with sound effects. I played Victor Mature — it's not going to sound funny — walking across the camp in Africa to knock the tarantula spider off Rita Hayworth's chest. So that was the setup. Don Pardo, who we never saw on camera, had his hands in a big bowl of potato chips, and every time I took a step, Don would crunch the potato chips, so it was like this whole sound effects thing."
Having a scene described to you is rarely funny, but this is Billy Crystal. It probably would have been hysterical. He said it did really well during dress rehearsals. However, after the run-through, Crystal recalled a note from Michaels saying he could only give it two minutes. He had nothing ready to replace the one he'd prepared, and cast member Andy Kaufman (who Crystal's manager suggested cutting instead) had a shorter one. Plus, they had put Crystal on five minutes before the end of the show, when a lot of people (me ... it's me) fall asleep on their couches.
Associate producer Barbara Gallagher didn't want to be the one to tell Crystal's manager, and it's hard to blame her. When an actor is given a job and turns down other work for it (meaning his representatives didn't get a cut), it's not going to make anyone happy. You can also see the other side of it, with Michaels trying to make a live TV show full of performances work in a time slot for the very first show, which was as-yet-unproven.
'I was upset – mad, I guess'
Michaels was also interviewed for the book and said that manager Buddy Morra was advocating for Billy, asking that they look for other options rather than making the actor, who had given up another job, take the cut. Michaels said that he didn't choose to cut Kaufman, whose script was significantly shorter, and that he "didn't have the nerve to cut Carlin," who was both a very successful comedian and the host of the entire thing. He wasn't shy about bagging on Morra, though, saying, "Buddy turned everything into high drama. It became very heated."
It's a rough thing when all sides have a point. Morra was doing his job, advocating for his client. Crystal was trying to get his work seen after working so hard. Michaels was trying to make a show that didn't run over and that the executives would continue supporting. Crystal didn't handle it particularly well, though it's hard to blame him. He didn't get the final information about the sketch being cut until he had his makeup on for the show and was ready to go. Crystal and his team decided to leave the theater at Morra's behest. Crystal said:
"I was upset — mad, I guess — because I had wanted to be there. I was mad at my own managers because I wanted to do the show. And I didn't want it to look like I was the guy who stormed off the show. That wasn't the truth. But my managers were protecting me, and Lorne was protecting his show, which I respect."
'To be cut was, I'm sure, terribly hurtful for Billy'
Michaels still insists that it wasn't about Crystal's work. That's clear, considering how often he was on the show in future years. He said, "it was a big night for an enormous number of people, Billy included. To be cut was, I'm sure, terribly hurtful for Billy, but there was no implication at all that it was about his not being good enough or not wanting him on the show."
Crystal hasn't exactly suffered very much in terms of his career. He's received six Emmy Awards and a Tony Award and hosted the Academy Awards nine times. He's been in classic films like "When Harry Met Sally...," "The Princess Bride," "City Slickers," and he voiced Mike Wazowski in the "Monsters, Inc." franchise. He's doing just fine.
If you want to take a look at the beginning of the series that has been on since you were born, all 48 seasons of "Saturday Night Live" are currently streaming on Peacock, with that first episode for free without a subscription.