Every Movie Murder Clown Ranked By How Huggable They Are

The killer clown trend has amorphous roots, with anthropologists and clinicians failing to settle on where the slow tilt of clowns into full-borne nightmare material originated. It might have been in Ruggero Leoncavallo's "Pagliacci" (riffed amazingly in Seinfeld), or it might be considerably grimmer, inextricably tied to the case of American serial killer John Wayne Gacy. In the modern canon — whether in film, television, or literature — the prevailing theory is Stephen King's Pennywise from "It," which popularized the killer clown archetype. Some scholars contend it goes beyond a phobia, becoming something akin to a cultural phenomenon.

Of course, horror audiences remember the Great Clown Panic of 2016, a time when, for some reason, people were dressing up as clowns and running around in the dark. While the reporting then was overblown, there's no denying the killer clown dominates the current age of horror. Yet, audiences might forget these clowns have feelings too. Sure, they're homicidal maniacs, but they're also people (well, mostly). Here, we'll be looking at the most famous movie murder clowns, ranking them by just how much you'll want to hug them.

The Joker has had several noteworthy portrayals in recent years, including an Oscar-winning turn from the late Heath Ledger in Christopher Nolan's "The Dark Knight." In 2019's "Joker," Joaquin Phoenix took on the origin story role, similarly winning an Oscar for his portrayal of Arthur Fleck, a nihilistic failed clown. While Todd Phillips' "Joker" remains as divisive as ever (at least until the Lady Gaga sequel arrives), there's no denying that Phoenix is on an entirely different level here. He's remarkably chilling in the role. His slow descent into diabolical acts came with more care and tact than most (even if, in retrospect, some of that empathy is chillingly problematic).

Truthfully, it's Fleck's violent rebellion that renders him a no-go for hugs. Maybe early on, sure! But as the film progresses and Fleck's mind spirals, he's not someone audiences will want to embrace. After all, his big, climactic moment occurs late in the film. Fleck, fully committed to the Joker persona, kills Robert De Niro's Murray Franklin. A hug isn't going to help treat that.

"House of 1000 Corpses" might have taught musician/filmmaker Rob Zombie the art of directing, but that doesn't mean it's a movie that the audience will immediately love. Sure, Zombie has his fans, and in recent years, his horror offerings have undergone a necessary, worthwhile reappraisal. But there's a distinct taste to his style of hillbilly horror, and it's certainly not for everyone. "House of 1000 Corpses" antagonist Captain Spaulding (the late Sid Haig) perhaps best conceptualizes Zombie's unique brand of terror.

Spaulding is more vocal than the preceding clowns. He's loud, boorish, and, yes, homicidal. Yet, by positively dripping with personality, Spaulding immediately distinguishes himself from other killer clowns. He exhibits the comically exaggerated behavior audiences have come to expect from a killer clown. Still, the clown isn't exactly pleasant. While upon first meeting Captain Spaulding, he might deserve a hug or two, the moment he introduces audiences to the rest of his family, that clownish luster is lost. No hugs for you, Captain Spaulding.

"Amusement" is a weird, largely forgotten slasher anthology from 2007. Once poised to be released theatrically (with an admittedly effective trailer to boot), the film faced release delays, unceremoniously arriving on home video in 2009 — years after anyone who might have remembered it would have any interest in seeing it. It's a shame, too! While John Simpson's anthology of three childhood friends stalked by an unknown killer in adulthood doesn't break any significant slasher molds, it's considerably more stylish and effective than most of its ilk.

The second vignette, detailing Tabitha's (Katheryn Winnick) abduction, plays on the old urban legend of the life-size clown doll. As Tabitha babysits for cousins, she is frequently frightened by the human-sized Harlequin clown doll in her aunt's (inexplicable) room of dolls. As she becomes increasingly freaked out, she finally asks her aunt if it's okay to remove the doll for the night. Of course, her aunt responds by noting they don't own such a doll. Soon after, The Laugh, a manic killer, chases Tabitha. The Laugh wins hug points for being played by Keir O'Donnell, though he loses just as much for his macabre interest in dissecting rats.

Whereas Kent McCoy wanted to be a clown (insofar as it would have made his son happy), Richard Grindle (Ross Noble) had no such illusions. Being a clown sucked, and that was true even before he met his untimely end at a birthday party gone awry. After some awkward camper sex, Grindle, dressed as Stitches the clown, arrives late at Tommy's (Ryan Burke, Tommy Knight older) birthday party. Tommy screws around, kicking a soccer ball into Stitches' face, causing him to fall backward onto a dishwasher kitchen knife.

Years later, Tommy has ostensibly moved on (despite witnessing Stitches' clown cult resurrection as a child). However, Stitches returns to carve his way through Tommy's new friends during his sixteenth birthday. While Stitches may not be innately huggable, performer Ross Noble certainly is. Famous for his stand-up comedy, he's got a smooth accent and a penchant for the absurd. Sure, as Stitches, he might kill you — but at least you'd get a solid laugh before he finishes the deed. Given the grim canon of killer movie clowns, that's worth more than most might realize.

Andy Palmer's "The Funhouse Massacre" is a more accomplished eighties slasher riff than most. Writer Ben Begley innately understood the beats of antecedent carnage fests. Resultantly, "The Funhouse Massacre" works as an homage to the killers of yesteryear while feeling distinctly and entertainingly modern. On Halloween night, several infamous serial killers successfully escape their asylum. The killers make their way toward the Land of Illusions Haunted Scream Park, supplanting themselves among the scare actors to avoid detection. But they can't stop killing for long! Soon it's an absolute bloodbath as law enforcement endeavors to stop these killers for good.

Among the killers is Rocco the Clown (Mars Crain), a hulking behemoth of a man whose stature would be intimidating enough — even without the clown makeup. Rocco is known for killing his wrestling opponents in the ring. Yet, he's curiously loyal (and possibly immortal). Get on his good side, and Rocco would wrap you in his massive arms, carrying you through life's hardest moments. Of course, he'll pulverize anyone antagonizing you. But it's a small sacrifice to be made. In truth, Rocco probably needs a genuinely caring friend.

The Chiodo Brothers' "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" is having something of a modern resurgence. Grossing a respectable $43 million upon release in 1988, it's not that the movie flopped in any regard. But it is remarkable to see it enduring so decades later. Spirit Halloween stores are overflowing with merch, and there's even an asymmetrical multiplayer game based on the film in development. While there isn't a Killer Klowns sequel (yet), audiences still have the original to revisit for gore, scares, and huggable clowns.

While the titular Klowns might initially seem unapproachable, they're remarkably playful. Sure, they might devour you with shadow puppets or run you down with balloon dogs, but they're just so big and squishy. They're also aliens, and who can pass up the opportunity (and inevitable clout) to hug an alien? The Klowns are back in a big way, and a hug or two would go a long way in honoring their resurgence.