‘Kindergarten Cop 2’ Gets an F

(Welcome to DTV Descent, a series that explores the weird and wild world of direct-to-video sequels to theatrically released movies. In this edition, we go back to school… again!)

The 1980s were heaven for action movie fans, and one of the biggest onscreen talents bringing violence and quips to the multiplexes was Arnold Schwarzenegger. As the decade wound down, he began mixing up his action hits with comedies including Twins (1988), Junior (1994), and Jingle All the Way (1996), but his highest-grossing comedy – and not-so-coincidentally his best – is 1990’s Kindergarten Cop.

I won’t pretend that Ivan Reitman’s film is a comedy classic on par with the likes of his Ghostbusters (1984) or Dave (1993), but Kindergarten Cop is still a very funny, terrifically cast, and satisfying romp. It’s a fun watch! The DTV sequel that showed up 27 years later like some kind of low-rent Pennywise the Clown? There’s not a damn thing that’s fun about Kindergarten Cop 2 (2017).

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kindergarten cop 2 trailer

There has always been a big market for direct-to-video sequels. Back in the Ye Olden Tymes, you could walk down the “New Releases” section of your friendly neighborhood video rental establishment and find low-rent sequels to some of your favorite hits from a decade earlier. The connections to the original film usually ended with the title, but there was something oddly fascinating about this kind of junk. These movies existed simply to trick uninformed movie viewers into watching something rushed out on the cheap just because it has a familiar title.

And while we may be living in the age of streaming, it’s nice to see this ugly, low-budget torch picked up by the likes of Kindergarten Cop 2. The first trailer for this 26-years-in-the-making sequel has arrived and it looks just about as bad as you’d expect for a 2016 family comedy starring Dolph Lundren.

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Kindergarten Cop

We’re still digesting Star Wars: The Force Awakens, even as we rush ahead with last-minute Christmas preparations. But in this hectic time, let’s not forget to take some time and appreciate one film that’s celebrating a landmark anniversary. That would be Kindergarten Cop, which turns 25. And what better way to celebrate than by taking a first look at its forthcoming sequel, Kindergarten Cop 2?

Yes, Kindergarten Cop 2 is still happening, and we actually have the pictures to prove it. Dolph Lundgren replaces Arnold Schwarzenegger as the tough-guy cop who goes undercover as a grade-school teacher, with hopefully hilarious results. Get your Kindergarten Cop 2 first look after the jump.  Read More »

Kindergarten Cop 2

Don’t bother checking your calendar, because it’s not April Fools’ Day. But even knowing that, if someone told me that there was a Kindergarten Cop 2 on the way starring Dolph Lundgren, I simply wouldn’t believe them, because it sounds so ridiculous.

But then again, after a couple seconds and reconsideration, I would probably end up believing them, because it sounds so ridiculous. Plus, there are actually some set photos to back up news that The Expendables franchise, Masters of the Universe and Rocky IV star is currently shooting a sequel to Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s comedic action thriller from 1990. Read More »