Child's Play Remake

(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: the Child’s Play series is doing just fine, so news of a remake is straight-up bullshit.)

Let’s get this out of the way: I am not anti-remake. Some of horror’s most recent top-tier achievements have been remakes themselves (It or Evil Dead, for starters). Modernized technology, fresh visions, and altered perspectives can do wonders for “outdated” classics or under-appreciated gems of bygone eras. May I repeat once more that I am not anti-remake – but I’m sure as hell against rebooting horror franchises that are still VERY MUCH ALIVE.

Last week, it was announced that MGM would be remaking beloved killer doll “slasher” Child’s Play with no connection to franchise controller Don Mancini and producer David Kirschner’s in-the-works television show (both of whom declined remake involvement when asked by MGM). More red flags: a “technologically advanced” toy will hunt multiple children a la “Stranger Things,” and no Brad Dourif returning to voice “Chucky” – if MGM even keeps that name. A “2.0” remake meant to capitalize on what’s being identified as “limitations” of Chucky’s current rubbery Good Guys form.

Hold up. Have any of the powers fast-tracking this remake for a September 2018 production start date even seen where Cult Of Chucky left off? Also, is MGM actually remaking Small Soldiers without even knowing it?

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Jurassic World gay character

(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is the latest film to blow an opportunity to put a gay character in a mainstream movie.)

Welp, it’s happened again. Another major Hollywood blockbuster has cut a reference to a LGBTQ character’s sexuality. The latest culprit? Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, in which Daniella Pineda‘s character was originally meant to be gay. Read more about her deleted scene below.

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Hereditary Review

(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: Hereditary has people talking about “elevated horror” again and there is no such thing…there are just horror movies.)

There’s an interview going around with Hereditary writer/director Ari Aster that’s sparked another round of hand-wringing regarding whether a new horror feature qualifies as a “horror movie” at all; a discussion so tired we might as well feed it a fistful of Roseanne Barr’s Ambien in hopes of finally putting it out of its misery. In his talk with ScreenCrush’s Britt Hayes, Aster says:

“But even from the beginning, and this is something I’ve said before but I was kind of careful to never really call it a ‘horror film.’ The people that were on the crew, or even the people that I was pitching the film to, I would describe it as a family tragedy that curdles into a nightmare.”

Even though Aster refers to Hereditary several times during that same chat as a “horror movie”, folks have already taken the quote and run with it, questioning whether the unsettling motion picture belongs to this categorization.

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Women of Solo

(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: despite the best intentions of everyone involved, the women of Solo: A Star Wars Story get the short end of the stick.)

Rey. I think about her a lot. A beacon of hope in a fandom so punctuated by masculine energy. There is Leia, yes, a feisty ball of purely female spitfire, a woman who lit a spark in the original Star Wars films and who lives inside every girl of a certain age even still. But Leia was never our focal point, and Rey is. The new dawn of Star Wars entered stage left with a message loud and clear: there are other kinds of heroes in this world, and this is what they look like.

The Disney era of Star Wars is not without its setbacks, but the women have been across-the-board fantastic from the perspective of this lifelong female fan. Rey, Jyn, Holdo, Rose, the return of Leia as a general; strong signals in a hellfire of war and famine and the disturbance of peace. Trailblazers who will not be silenced no matter the boycotting hashtags or insular vendettas. To us, the women who love these movies, they are setting the stage for a new kind of intersectional fandom inclusion.

I had my reservations about Solo: A Star Wars Story, but was excited to see what it might do with its troupe of new female characters. Qi’ra, L3-37 (the first female droid with a major role in Star Wars history), Val. The marketing made them look distinctly impressive, with new energies to bring to what could otherwise be a very male-heavy narrative.

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Death in the MCU

(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: Marvel has no idea how to make death matter in its movies.)

We’ve come a long way since 2008’s Iron Man introduced Marvel Studios’ ambitious Phase One initiative. Ten years, nineteen movies, one sacrificial offering of Kevin Feige’s soul to ward off genre fatigue – but despite critical, monetary, and filmmaking successes that continue to redefine the increasingly iconic Marvel Cinematic Universe, the elemental truth of insufficient stakes remains the franchise’s greatest foe.

Marvel stresses event-level entertainment and exhibits the ability to spectacularly deliver on that promise, proven by my continued desire to witness the Avengers pound tyrant after tyrant into submission. Plucky do-gooder confidence plays into ultimate showmanship, yet it cannot be denied that hero sendoffs are scarce and oddly unaffecting when implemented.

Does death even matter in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? At this franchise milestone, I submit that it does not. Warning: spoilers ahead. Read More »

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Marvel Cinematic Universe romance problem

(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: after the release of Avengers: Infinity War, Lindsey Romain takes stock of the MCU’s romance problem.)

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is, at best, a series of intricately laced human stories amplified and filtered through the lens of absolute power. At worst, it is a series that never hits the emotional highs and lows of its characters, favoring spectacle and applause over the metrics of human condition. Avengers: Infinity War falls somewhere in the middle of this chart. It is undoubtedly geared to deliver stadium-style hoots and hollers, but goes for the jugular in a few key moments. Youll laugh, youll cry. Its a lot of movie.

Its also a good reminder that the MCU is loaded with troubled romances that have a hard time feeling relevant. It wouldnt be much of a problem if the films climax wasnt anchored almost totally on the relationship between a young woman and a character that is essentially a sentient Siri in human skin, a couple so important that we have to buy that they would risk humanity to save their love. The highest of stakes are predicated on two characters the world probably wouldnt miss that much, but Infinity War still begs us to fret over. Even though, by my measure, it doesnt care itself about developing Wanda beyond what she provides to male narratives, or Vision beyond his omniscient but hackneyed origin story. That sort of sums up Marvel romance in a nutshell: hollow and unearned fabrications that only matter apocalyptically.

There are many layers to MCUs romance problem, so lets take a deeper look at what its done right, what it cant seem to master, and what it might do to rectify this issue going forward. Spoilers ahead. Read More »

justice for han

(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: it’s been one year since the release of The Fate of the Furious and the lack of #JusticeForHan still stings.)

The Fast & Furious franchise is headed for its ninth entry with Hobbs & Shaw, the Dwayne Johnson/Jason Statham-led spinoff from director David Leitch. It marks a departure from the series’ new status quo after a decade (and then some) of Vin Diesel-driven family drama. Though more pertinently, it presents the franchise with another opportunity for something with which it’s all too familiar: course correction. Specifically, it’s an opportunity to deliver #JusticeForHan.

The departure of Sung Kang’s Han Lue (a.k.a. Han Seoul-Oh) was inevitable come Furious 7. After the character’s demise in entry #3, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift back in in 2006, the series went into prequel mode for three full films all the way through Fast & Furious 6, just so Han could rejoin the fold. In the seventh film in 2015, time finally catches up with the Fast Family as Jason Statham’s Deckard Shaw is retroactively revealed to have caused the crash that killed Han in Japan. It’s a major plot point that makes Shaw the target of Casa de Toretto.

But with the eighth entry, The Fate of the Furious, in April 2017, Deckard himself became part of the Family, with Han being entirely forgotten. Something was amiss in the fabric of this saga, and it wasn’t sitting well with fans who had embraced the series unironically, this writer included.

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(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: A Quiet Place is a good horror movie, even if it’s not a horror movie made for horror fans.)

A Quiet Place is an easy movie to love. It was directed and co-written by John Krasinski, star of The Office, who oozes the same sort of self-deprecating American charm that made Jennifer Lawrence a superstar. Krasinski acts in the film alongside his equally likable real-life wife Emily Blunt and a cadre of cute kid actors. It has a simple, air-tight conceit: a family is forced to live in silence after the world is occupied by alien creatures who are drawn to sound. The world-building is effective, the scares all earned, and the emotional core is well-developed. The ingredients are all there, and for the most part they gel.

A Quiet Place is a good movie – but is it a good horror movie? Spoilers follow.

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isle of dogs cultural appropriation

(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: a writer grapples with her love of Wes Anderson and the question of Isle of Dogscultural appropriation.)

“I wish somebody spoke his language.”

Those droll words uttered by one of Isle of Dogs’ many English-speaking dogs, Duke (Jeff Goldblum), in response to Atari Kobayashi’s (Koyu Rankin) impassioned Japanese ramblings, get to the heart of what makes Wes Anderson’s stop-motion film so charming — and so troubling.

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Fantastic Beasts The Crimes of Grindelwald Trailer Breakdown - Eddie Redmayne as New Scamander

(Welcome to The Soapbox, the space where we get loud, feisty, political, and opinionated about anything and everything. In this edition: why the new Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald trailer made one writer so angry.)

When I was a kid, the image of Hogwarts conjured magical surreality; a cognitive awareness that this place wasn’t real in the technical sense, but alive somewhere in the crook of a collective imagination. The words of Dumbledore spring to mind: “Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

That’s how I’ve always seen stories. Real, because the words make them so. And, in the case of Hogwarts, real because the movies made them so, too. In the Harry Potter films, the castle took on an eerie actuality: towers like sharp teeth or open arms, depending on the slant of life. All great fantasy castles have that familial dichotomy. That’s how Hogwarts has always felt: like family, like home.

So, why did its appearance in the new Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald trailer leave me completely cold? Actually, worse than cold – almost angry?

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