'The Elf On The Shelf' Is Coming To Netflix, And None Shall Be Spared

Repent, sinners, for the time of The Elf on the Shelf draws near! None shall be spared the wrath of this sentient doll, sent forth by the wicked Santa Claus to do his foul bidding! Blood will run red in the streets and the screams of the damned will echo throughout cities and towns as our homes become nothing more than lonely monuments to the dead! Woe unto thee who is unprepared!

What I'm trying to say is that Netflix is developing multiple programs – live-action and animated – based around The Elf on the Shelf.

Today, Netflix sent out the following nightmare-inducing poem:

Twas early October and the crew at Netflixwere already keen for a holiday fix.Though some said, "Too early! It's too warm to care,"the crew knew a special guest soon would be there.No longer a secret to keep for themself...What's heading to Netflix? The Elf on the Shelf!Throughout the North Pole, the work has begunon series, and movies, and specials to run.Animation... live action... both will appearto deliver the world some holiday cheer.In Tokyo. In Mumbai. From Montreal to Rome.On a plane, on a train or in the comfort of home.Whatever the name that you've given your elf,soon Scout Elves will stream from Netflix's shelf!Santa's own press room was quick to providea glimpse of what's coming, and stated with pride:"We're thrilled to share stories of our North Pole friends,bringing tales from the region where joy never ends!The Elf Pets, our pals, will join us, of course!You'll get brand-new stories, straight from the source!Our love for the world will be easy to see,You'll soon hear us sing in Italian, Thai and Hindi.While we're hard at work creating more stories and cheer,there's two Elf Pets specials on Netflix this year!

It's their way of announcing that the Elf on the Shelf, that nightmarish creature that people put in their homes every holiday season, is headed to Netflix in the form of live-action and animated content. The streaming giant has acquired the rights to "develop original stories from the company's entire portfolio of brands; including but not limited to: The Elf on the Shelf, Elf Pets, and Elf Mates."

The basic gist of The Elf on the Shelf, for those who don't know: Santa sends out some elves from Thanksgiving through Christmas Eve to keep track of which kids are naughty or nice. It's basically like inviting the CIA into your house. This tale of terror originated as a picture book and bloomed into a whole cottage industry. Here's the book's original synopsis:

The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition is the very special tool that helps Santa know who to put on the Naughty and Nice list. This interactive holiday hide-and-seek tradition is perfect for children and families of all ages. The tradition begins when Santa sends his scout elves out to Elf Adoption Centers. Waiting for their families to bring them home, these patient elves hibernate until their family reads The Elf on the Shelf, gives their elf a very special name, and registers their adoption online. Once named, each scout elf will receive its Christmas magic and becomes part of the family's Christmas each and every year.

Although they cannot be touched, or else they may lose their magic, the elf will always listen and relay messages back to Santa. Taking in all the day-to-day activities around the house, no good deed goes unnoticed; these scout elves take their job seriously.
Before the family awakes each morning, their special scout elf will fly back to their home from the North Pole. However, since these elves like to play games, don't expect to find them in the same spot! While some like to hide in the freezer (probably because it reminds them of the North Pole) and others prefer to sit on the fireplace mantle or hang from the chandelier, these elves love to play hide-and-seek with their families.

Well, that all sounds horrifying. Sorry, I meant magical. Anyway, the Elf and all his supporting players are owned by The Lumistella Company, and now that Netflix has a deal with them, the streaming service will be adding two of The Lumistella Company's existing animated short films – Elf Pets: Santa's Reindeer Rescue and Elf Pets: A Fox Cub's Christmas Tale – to subscribers this holiday season. Vertigo Entertainment's Roy Lee (The LEGO Movie, How to Train Your Dragon) and Miri Yoon will serve as producers on all The Elf On The Shelf content to come.