No, Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures Won't End With Anakin's Youngling Massacre

Life is full of little disappointments. People rarely land their dream jobs. The partner of your dreams rarely materializes. The McRib will never be a permanent menu item.

We deal with these micro-heartbreaks as best we can. We endure. We must, as Sonia advised Uncle Vanya, live our lives. But I'm not sure I want to live in a world where the animated "Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures" won't end with Anakin Skywalker massacring a bunch of younglings.

As you likely remember, the tragic third act of "Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith" features the soon-to-be-Darth-Vader making a lightsaber hash out of the young Jedi trainees. The wanton murder of children is not typically funny, but the tonal mixture is so off in these movies that the most crushing moments are often unintentionally hilarious. For example, in the 2000s, the maniacs at YTMND, Inc. made uproarious hay out of Darth Vader's anguished "Nooooooo!" upon learning of his beloved Padme's demise.

The franchise survived the Prequel Trilogy and is still chugging under the direction of Kathleen Kennedy. It hasn't been a smooth ride, but the Disney+ series have been popular enough to spawn more spin-offs. "Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures" is next up, and, given that it's a kid-skewing show, it will apparently steer clear of the youngling slaughter.

Stay thy lightsaber, fair Jedi

In an interview with SFX Magazine (snag your copy here), James Waugh, Lucasfilm's Vice President of Franchise Content & Strategy, revealed that the series will take place 200 years before the dawn of the Skywalker Saga. "Finding a way to do that with a preschool form was always the challenge," he said. "But we felt like it was worth exploring."

This is a bummer, but understandable. Lucasfilm has to bring new fans into the fold, and the best way to do this is to get them hooked early with an innocuous show that's perky, bright, and bereft of serious conflict. As Waugh told SFX:

"The point of that new era was a hopeful time, back when the Jedi were the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy. So younglings were not wrought with the burden of a Jedi Order towards the end of its lifecycle and about to be in a massive civil war. The worldbuilding framework of the timeline allowed for bright expressions that would inform the storytelling."

200 years is a long stretch of time, long enough to ensure that "Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures" will never have to depict the pureeing of wildly overmatched younglings at Anakin's hands. Perhaps this is for the best. It's like Tobe Hooper leaving Leatherface's carving up of Kirk to our vivid imaginations in "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre." But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to see this dark chapter in "Star Wars" lore rendered via kid-friendly animation.

"Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures" hits Disney+ on May 4, 2023.