Movie Trailer #2: Takers

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Before this trailer, the most memorable thing about Takers was the photoshop abortion that passed for the film’s first one-sheet. After this new trailer, that poster remains the most memorable thing about Takers, which still looks like an abandoned MTV Movie Awards tribute to Heat.

What is there to say here? T.I. and Chris Brown look like they’re play-acting a mid-album skit about bank robbery, and Hayden Christensen and Idris Elba appear to be going along with the joke. Matt Dillon’s Al Pacino impression seems to be dulled by valium, Paul Walker looks like a bank-robbing puppy, and Zoe Saldana is seriously over-committed, if the clips of her are any real indication.

The trailer omits some of the more absurd lines from previous clips in favor of smearing celebrity all over the screen. Smearing Vaseline would probably have been a better choice.

In all fairness to the poster designers who’ve collaged for Takers, there is a second poster that is significantly less awful than the first. (Seen below.) It has a distinct Ocean’s Eleven vibe, which works a lot better than the hydrocephalaic design of the first.

Synopsizin’:

Takers centers on a notorious group of criminals who continue to baffle police by pulling off perfectly executed bank robberies. They are in and out like clockwork, leaving no evidence behind and laying low in between heists. But when they attempt to pull off one last job with more money at stake than ever before, the crew may find their plans interrupted by a hardened detective (Matt Dillon) who is hell-bent on solving the case.

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