Brett Ratner

At the conclusion of director Brett Ratner‘s online chat with Empire Magazine, the “filmmaker” told a joke involving Steven Spielberg’s trip to heaven:

Now, I have a joke to leave you with. Steven Spielberg dies and goes to heaven, and St. Peter says, “Oh, Mr Spielberg, we’re so happy you’re here. God has a very important assignment for you; we need you to make a movie. You can have your choice of anyone you want. Shakespeare can write the script; Michelangelo can paint the set; Mozart can write the music.” Spielberg says, “What would be my compensation?”

Continued after the jump.

St. Peter says, “You can meet anyone you want.” Spielberg says, “I want to meet Stanley Kubrick. I was such a big fan, I never got to meet him, and I made A.I. because of my admiration for his work.” St. Peter says, “Unfortunately, no one gets to meet Stanley Kubrick.” As he says that, in the distance, Stanley Kubrick rides past on a bicycle. Steven says, “Whadya mean? That’s Stanley right there! On the bike!” St. Peter says, “No, that’s God pretending to be Stanley Kubrick.”

But of course, Spielberg had actually met Kubrick, first on the London set of The Shining in 1980. According to reports, Kubrick told Spielberg that he had seen 1941 and that “It was great, but it wasn’t funny. You should have sold it as a drama.” The duo kept in touch over phone and fax until the filmmaker died.

Spielberg has said that he often sent Kubrick a look at the first cuts of his films, even before the studios had gotten a chance to see them. Spielberg claims that Kubrick did not reciprocate, and when he asked him why, Kubrick responded “Because that’s who I am, and that’s who you are.”

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