A few people pointed me to the trailer for Dario Argento‘s Dracula 3D this morning, and when I finally got around to watching it I was overcome with that mixture of mirth and sadness that is specific to watching a director really tumble downhill. Dario Argento has made movies that I truly love (Suspiria, Cat O’Nine Tails, and others) but in his later years hasn’t been able to deliver a picture that even counts as a pale shadow of his best work.

Now he is in post-production on Dracula 3D, a film that seems to do exactly what the title implies, only with some of the most flat and lifeless filmmaking I’ve seen since the heyday of Full Moon Entertainment. The effects in this trailer — a trailer which is meant to find distribution, not an audience — are unfinished, and that’s fine. I don’t mind the fact that the giant praying mantis is crudely rendered at this point. On the other hand, what is a giant praying mantis doing in a Dracula movie? Ahem.

Check it out below. NSFW due to a couple shots of a naked woman. And also due to general sadness.

REMOVED

I just… I mean, beyond the staginess of the acting, the super-flat photography (for a 3D film!) and the WTF overall narrative drive, there is a soundtrack which actually includes a theremin, seemingly in non-ironic fashion, and the best canned bat screech effect I’ve heard since I tripped over a discarded sound-enabled plush toy in the post-Halloween discount aisle at CVS.

(In fairness, just as the effects are obviously not done, much of the audio might be temp, too.)

I want to like a new Argento movie. Any new Argento movie. I really do. But this doesn’t look like it’ll be the one. (Or, at least, I don’t think I’ll like it in the way I’m intended to. It might be great fun to watch.)

Cool Posts From Around the Web:

.

Please Recommend /Film on Facebook

blog comments powered by Disqus