Star Trek: Picard's Writers Accidentally Made Chateau Picard A Fandom Punching Bag
At the start of "Star Trek: Picard," the title character (Patrick Stewart) is living in retirement on his generations-old family vineyard. Although one can replicate synthehol in the future, it's comforting to know that some vintners will still be making wine the old-fashioned way. The full range of wines made at Château Picard hasn't been listed in the official canon of "Star Trek," but sharp-eyed Trekkies have noted that characters have been seen drinking a Château Picard Bordeaux and bottles labeled Château La Barre. Thanks to enterprising booze-hounds, real-life bottles of Château Picard can be purchased online. The Klingon blood wine is actually just a cabernet sauvignon.
Given that the Picard family had been in the wine-making business for centuries, one might assume that Château Picard is very fine indeed, exploring and idly conquering the palate like Alexander the Great. Like Picard himself, I imagine Château Picard to be dry and complex, but wizened and demanding close attention.
In the third season of "Star Trek: Picard," however, audiences finally received their first on-screen review of Château Picard, and, well, it appears the wine is underwhelming. On the show, the U.S.S. Titan-A had been infiltrated by malevolent Changelings who had taken to impersonating the crew. In order to prove who he was, Picard announced to Geordi La Forge (LeVar Burton) that he remembered gifting him a bottle of Château Picard years earlier. Picard also recalled, with some annoyance, that Geordi described the wine as being too dry "because your taste in wine is pedestrian at best," Picard spat.
Talking to Trekmovie recently, "Picard" showrunner Terry Matalas said he wrote the line as a throw-away gag. He didn't expect Trekkies to pick up on the fact that Château Picard isn't very good.
Unexpected meme-ification
With the third season of "Picard," Terry Matalas experienced the fickle world of meme-ification. Notably, he wrote a scene where Captain Liam Shaw (Todd Stashwick) was asked by Picard to help with a shady rescue operation ... off the books. Captain Shaw, a practical, by-the-book character, merely responded with a "No." That "No" wormed its way into the wild and hoary world of "Star Trek" memes, used in response to just about any question. Example: Tuvix yells "I want to live!" and Captain Shaw says "No." Matalas admitted that he tries to write meme-able moments into his shows, but one can never predict the bizarre caprices of the internet.
Evidently, the "Château Picard is bad" notion also worked its way into the fandom, and Trekkies began idly having to disabuse some notions. ScreenRant devoted an article to the idea, and people on Reddit were shocked — shocked! — to hear that Picard's wine was not good. Matalas didn't mean to make Château Picard into the butt of online jokes, or turn Picard's lifelong passion into a gag, but here we are. Matalas said:
"We ran a gag that Château Picard isn't the best wine. It doesn't taste the best. I didn't think anybody would really pick up on it and people really, really picked up on it."
Indeed, some curious souls decided to test the real-life Château Picard, and they found it to be ... average. The Bordeaux, true to Geordi's review, was indeed dry. The Sauvignon Blanc, however, had little to no flavor. I suppose when one is buying "Star Trek" wines, one is buying it for the bottle itself, and not for the contents. I suppose, thanks to Terry Matalas, Château Picard is now forever bad.