Are the Gotham City Police Department and CIA Really THAT Dumb? – Why would they send every member of the Gotham City Police Department, including the SWAT Team, into the sewers? Seems like a stupid move that wouldn’t be made by any reputable agency of law enforcement. But to make matters worse, in The Dark Knight Rises, the GCPD aren’t the only stupid government agency. In the opening prologue, the CIA agent allows hooded thugs on board a CIA plane without even finding out who the men are. Then, minutes later, the CIA airplane is unable to detect the huge non-stealth plane flying towards them.

Most of the Hand-To-Hand Combat Is Terrible – Do you remember how in those old Asian martial arts movies, a group of baddies would attack the protagonist one at a time?  Do you remember how unintentionally comical that looked? That’s how I feel whenever Batman fights anyone in this film (exception: his fights with Bane, which I thought were appropriately raw and intense). For the most part, all the bad guys have guns and none of them use them. Each one just waits there turn to get their ass-kicked by Batman. Now I know why Nolan shoots all the action up-close and nearly indecipherable: because if you had a wide angle shot, seeing armed thugs stand idly by would look absolutely ridiculous.

Thing is, Nolan’s not incapable of staging good Batman action well. The truck chase scene in The Dark Knight was fantastic, as was the first time Batman takes out Falcone’s men in Batman Begins. Unfortunately, this film was short on those sorts of transcendent moments. Maybe if there were more than one Batman scene per hour, we could have seen more than this.

Multiple Ending Syndrome - At least at the end of Return of the King, each ending got room to breathe. Here, within the span of five minutes, we’re supposed to process the following: 1) Batman dies in a blaze of glory, 2) Bruce Wayne donates all of his remaining assets to the betterment of children, tying up Blake’s storyline, 3) Bruce Wayne apparently figured out how to program the autopilot on The Bat? 4) Bruce Wayne survived the crash and is now enjoying a beautiful life in lord-knows-where with Selina Kyle, 5) Alfred is totally cool with all this, and does not lose his shit at all when he finds this out. 6) John Blake takes up the mantle as Batman, with no training, no resources or mentor. Also, no one notices that Bruce Wayne and Batman disappeared at the same time. WHAT?!

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