The peg will be played by Keanu Reeves. Hollywood’s looming shit squall of “movies” based on board games finally received an irksome hat tip from Stephen Colbert and the top shelf writers at The Colbert Report. It didn’t disappoint. After mentioning Ridley Scott‘s Monopoly project, complete with an Alien-inspired conundrum for mustachioe guy, Colbert feigned interest in manning the stations of Battleship. Joining him in a gripping audition for Universal‘s live-action board game, due 2011, was none other than ever-relaxed Jeff Goldblum. Wearing a flamboyant hat. One can only hope that Battleship director Peter Berg wasn’t busy arranging another colonic in hell (…or Hancock 2) so as to witness the duo’s masterful recitation of grid coordinates. Cue the red lights.
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Note: With The Matarese Circle, once a potential vehicle for Tom Cruise, seemingly on the back burner, might this be David Cronenberg’s next film? The director also has the previously announced Don DeLillo adaptation and “limo drama,” Cosmopolis, in development.
Predictable news this evening with a double-take twist. David Cronenberg is said to be developing a remake of his 1986 sci-fi horror classic The Fly as a potential vehicle for him to write and direct. Risky Business reports that technological leaps are the main factor in Cronenberg’s decision to remake the material, which is a common excuse—what, no 3D catch?—but in this case, justifiable. Cronenberg’s The Fly was itself a heightened and gory creature feature remake of the 1958 film of the same name starring Vincent Price. Last year, Cronenberg was involved in an opera production of the film for the stage with Fly composer Howard Shore. Common sense says the opera was the decision’s spark.
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If you were intently watching news, Twitter and Facebook feeds last week as Michael Jackson was passing, you probably also saw an equally tragic piece of ‘news’ pass by: reports said that Jeff Goldblum had fallen to his death while filming a movie in New Zealand. Never mind that cursory searches suggested that he was at work in New York; the reports said New Zealand police confirmed the story as true!
How could we doubt such reportage? Cue up a double feature of The Fly and Buckaroo Banzai! (Just do that, anyway. They’re amazing.) Of course the story wasn’t true, but that didn’t stop Stephen Colbert and guest Jeff Goldblum from crying over it last night. Watch the clip, via Cinematical, after the jump. Read More »
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BloodyDisgusting reports that Universal Pictures has begun casting for Jurassic Park IV. Apparently the new film involves dinosaurs which have been outfitted with weapons by the US government (presumably for battle purposes). If this is true, than Universal should shut down production right now. It’s one thing to expect such stupidity from the recent batch of direct-to-dvd sequels, but a big budget Spielberg produced sequel? Steven, please say it ain’t so!
Why is it that most good movie franchises are ruined by ridiculous plot concepts? The studios seem to believe that the higher the number next to the movie title, the more ridiculous the story must become. I would think that Hollywood would look at the successful franchises and study them. There are reasons why the JAWS, Batman and Superman sequels were less successful (people want real, not slapstick). Sequels like Toy Story 2 and Aliens raise the bar.
Jurassic Park 4 will shoot in Kauai, Hawaii later this year. I wonder who’s going to be directing this disaster? Last I heard, Jurassic Park III helmer Joe Johnston bowed out, even after Steven Spielberg publicly announced that he would direct it. Laura Dern was reportedly asked to return for the new film. No word on if any of the other stars will be featured in the fourth film. But what else are Jeff Goldblum and Sam Neill doing these days?
And before anyone asks, the JP4 logo is a fan-made design.