On last night’s South Park, Stan went to see Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull only to find George Lucas and Steven Spielberg raping Indiana Jones (literally). Check it out after the jump.
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For those of you buying Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull on October 14th, watch out for these five retail exclusives.
Circuit City will have 2 lithographs of concept art from the movie.
Best Buy’s Gift Set includes a replica crystal skull from Sideshow Collectibles and a $25 gift card to Sideshowcollectibles.com.
Target is exclusively packaged with a “beautiful hard cover book from Palace Press with 80 pages of behind the scenes photos, including many never-before-published images.”
Kmart & Sears will be giving away Four Exclusive LEGO mini-posters. Each poster is a LEGO replica of the original theatrical poster from all four Indy films.
And Trans World will have exclusive Steelbook Packaging.
Discuss: Will you be buying Crystal Skull on DVD? And If so, which exclusive seems to most appealing to you?
Nuke The Fridge by Drew Holter & Miss Yamamoto
The Pitch: 10 year old Drew Holter explains the new clang word Nuke The Fridge through a series of drawings.
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When it comes to interviews, George Lucas is like that dad who never says anything too out of line, but leaves you pissed off and checking for emotional and totally unnecessary welts. In a new interview with the Times Online, he discusses Indiana Jones 5 and takes more shots at Crystal Skull and Steven Spielberg…
“If I can come up with another idea that they like, we’ll do another. Really, with the last one, Steven wasn’t that enthusiastic. I was trying to persuade him. But now Steve is more amenable to doing another one. Yet we still have the issues about the direction we’d like to take. I’m in the future; Steven’s in the past. He’s trying to drag it back to the way they were, I’m trying to push it to a whole different place. So, still we have a sort of tension. This recent one came out of that. It’s kind of a hybrid of our own two ideas, so we’ll see where we are able to take the next one.”
Great. Read the above quote and imagine he’s weighing out whether to take a shit before he leaves Spielberg’s manse. It’s no different. Moreover, it turns out that Spielberg and Harrison Ford aren’t avatars, and they are simply too rich and powerful…
“Indiana Jones only becomes complicated when you have another two people saying ‘I want it this way’ and ‘I want it that way’, whereas, when I first did Jones, I just said, ‘We’ll do it this way’ — and that was much easier. But now I have to accommodate everybody, because they are all big, successful guys, too, so it’s a little hard on a practical level.”
Painful. Maybe he should hire Phil Jackson as a consultant? Lucas says he looms over a realm called the “father’s world,” whereas his empire’s video games, merch and books are the “son’s world.” As for the fans and bloggers? We are the “holy ghost”—now you know—and Lucas says we can “go our own way.” Fleetwood Mactastic. Outside of more Star Wars and Indiana Jones, Lucas still aspires to make those personal films. This is probably my fave Lucas quote of all time…
“I can’t say yet, but [my next films will] be personal. In fact, I’d sooner just make them and not even release them, just put them on the shelf, like ships in a bottle — ‘Oh, look, let me show you my collection.’ Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Films are a very expensive hobby. And you have to get people to want to go and see them.”
You see, these guitars cannot be played, touched even. Don’t point!
I came across this quote from George Lucas in The New York Times:
“I mean, why do we have to make another Indiana Jones? There was no point to it, other than, gee, this might be fun.”
I’m not even going to comment on the quote, because it already says everything I would like to say about Lucas.
Cool Posts From Around the Web:
The Urban Dictionary has added an entry for “Nuke the Fridge”, a contemporary replacement for the slang term “Jumped the Shark”.
Jump the Shark is a reference to a scene in an episode of Happy Days when Fonzie literally jumps over a shark while water skiing. The scene was considered so preposterous, and is considered by many to signify the moment in time when the show became unappealing to its core audience.
The new term Nuke the Fridge is based on an event in the opening sequence of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Here is an explanation of the term from the online Urban Dictionary:
“Nuke the fridge is a colloquialism used to refer to the moment in a film series that is so incredible that it lessens the excitement of subsequent scenes that rely on more understated action or suspense, and it becomes apparent that a certain installment is not as good as a previous installments, due to ridiculous or low quality storylines, events or characters.
The term comes from the film Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, in which, near the start of the movie, Harrison Ford’s character survives a nuclear detonation by climbing into a kitchen fridge, which is then blown hundreds of feet through the sky whilst the town disintegrates. He then emerges from the fridge with no apparent injury. Later in the movie, the audience is expected to fear for his safety in a normal fistfight.
Fans of the Indiana Jones series found the absurdity of this event in the film to be the best example of the lower quality of this installment in the series, and thus coined the phrase, “nuke the fridge”.
The phrase is also a reference to the phrase “jump the shark”, which has the same meaning, only applied to a television series instead of a film series.
This phrase is not in common use.
“Star Wars didn’t really nuke the fridge until Jar Jar Binks was introduced.”
“Peter Parker dancing around the bar in Spider-Man 3? Kinda nukes the fridge!”
“The Godfather: Part III nukes the fridge.”
“Gremlins 2 more or less nuked the fridge.”
What do you think? Pretty funny but I think “Jumped the Shark” rolls off the tongue easier.
JollyJack‘s latest Online Comic shows what happened to the script for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
See More of JollyJack’s artwork on Deviant Art.
I’m sure you’ve heard, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is being boycotted by upset members of Russia’s Communist party. To celebrate Merchbot has created a new t-shirt which shows those commies who is more powerful (all in fun of course). The Indiana Jones Hat is greater than Communists t-shirt is available for $17.95. The guys at Merchbot have supplied me with a special coupon code which will get you $5 off your order. Just enter “slashfilm” in the coupon section of the checkout process. Available in sizes small to XXL, brown print on sandstone or natural color shirts.
Cool Stuff is a daily feature of slashfilm.com. Know of any geekarific creations or cool products which should be featured on Cool Stuff? E-Mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This past weekend we asked /Film readers to tell us what they thought of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We got over 2025 votes on our poll and 266 comments. While the majority of readers who voted in the poll Loved the film (41%, while 18% voted “It Sucked”), the comments on the post were largely negative. I decided since you guys put the work in, I’d dig through the comments and bring you a best of – a compilation of the funniest or most interesting comments left about Indy 4. Enjoy!
Josh: “I totally cracked my friend up at the end of the movie when I turned to him and said “I know I’m Jewish and all, and I can’t believe I’m going to say thisâ€¦ but I miss the Nazis.””
jonny: “Fake us all out with a big trailer that makes you think this film is huge and will fucking suck. But instead the film is only 15 minutes long and ends with him dying in a nuclear explosionâ€¦ Thank you for treating me with respect!”
Greg: “How many people loved Transformers last year? I did. But, the storyâ€¦ aliens come down from another planet and turn themselves into cars. How is that different (or more importantly, more believable) than the central theme in Crystal Skull?”
Rob: “The top 5 things I hate about this movie (in no particular order). WARNING – SPOILER ALERT! 1. INDY SURVIVES A NUCLEAR BLAST – WTF? 2. Shia swings from vines in the jungle with a family of monkeys – I shit you not. 3. They drive a jeep over three 100 foot waterfalls and survive without a scratch. 4. Space aliens and a UFO does not belong in an Indiana Jones film! 5. Kate Blanchet’s character is destroyed by knowlege; really? If I see George Lucas out in public I’m gonna punch him in his turkey neck.”
Seth Rogen: “Hey you! Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you. If you’re an adult and you hated this Indiana Jones film, that’s because you went to a kids flick. Kids movies are ridiculous because kids are insane by nature. If you want to see an action movie for grownups go see Pineapple Express out August 8th. Word”
Cogezek: “It kind of felt like they rewrote the script dozens of times over 19-20 years.”
marcomc2: “I just got back from a midnight soul raping thunder slaughter of shit.”
Justin: “I like that aliens are too hard for people to believe but mystically powerful Jewish zombie wine cups are okay.”
Thumb: “So I’d say that George Lucas didn’t rape the corpse of my childhood, but he gave it a good, rough tongue-kissing. … There will be no aliens in X-Files, but there ARE aliens in Indiana Jones? Am I on earth 2?”
Simon: “Harrsison and Shia made a sterling effort to try and turn a big steaming pile of dog turd into something watchable. … I’m going to take a deep breathe and count backwards from ten, and forget this film ever happened.”
Tom: “Awful. I knew it was going to be bad as soon as it was revealed that evil Commie Cate Blanchette revealed she was psychic.”
Simon: “If you’re an Indy fan then prepare yourself for two hours of cinematic soddemy.”
Allynd Dudnikov: “This was the best Allan Quartermain movie yet! â€¦oh wait.”
Captain Awesome: “Indiana Jones: National Treasure 3” … “The cock-slapping plants were hilarious.”
790: “Maybe for the disinfranchised fans we can have Indy digging up dinosaur bones in the next film, while Mutt goes back to high school and trys to cope with the divorse?? Meanwhile Marion can sue for Indys college retirement pension and setup a restraining order? Would that ground the film in reality for ya?????”